Another You

I've been trying to get the mood up, around here. But it isn't really working.
sitting in this god damned hospital room with Austin in this god damned hospital bed (get it? TAA??) it's hard. I don't wanna lose someone else.

Especially Austin.

Chase let everyone know of my situation at work and since I haven't had any scheduled shoots, I've been living off of Hope from Austin and flavored Red Bulls.

Ive be also gotten a lot closer with the guys. Alan is my best friend and one night, when Austin's heart failed yet again, we both cried and talked about how it was our fault. We ended up sleeping in the same bed that night too. Phil and I would just walk around the hospital for hours on end talking about ourselves. Our terrible stories, the good ones, the ones that brought us tears, the ones that made us laugh. Any one emotion you could name, we felt.
Tino and I each lunch everyday and talk normal conversations. He would comfort me and I him when we needed. He was like my brother. Same with phil. Alan felt more like a best friend brother too me.

Aaron though, was the one who comforted me when I had nightmares. Witch was everyday or night this week. He would sing in my ear and hush me back to bed, but I felt like something was hidden behind him. And I want to know what, because I think he needs comfort too.


"Hey there Evolet." Allixon said and put something into Austins IV. "How are you? Can I get you anything?" She questioned and I shook my head.
"But thank you. How long..?" I trailed off, shift my gaze to Austin and pulled on my sleeves of my elephant hoodie.
"Well, it's hard to tell. Once the pacemaker starts regulating his blood pump in his heart, he should wake up. The reason it's been so long is because his heart needs to get that blood into it and out without any problems. He's been doing fine, so now it could be any day." She said, tired. I'm pretty sure she has been here longer than us and doing twice the work.
"Oh, okay. Thank you." I said throwing my drink into the trash can by the door, standing up.

"don't hesitate if you need someone to talk too." She said and put her hand on my shoulder. "Thanks.." I said and flashed a small smile at her, feeling tears in my eyes. I walk out the door to find alan curled up by the door sleeping with a cat.
I smile and pet the orange kitten in his lap. "Oh hey eve." Alan mumbled. I smile at him and pet the small creature more. "This is Sophie, they wouldn't let me in there with her." He said and I fall back into my butt, reaching over to hold her.
"she's adorable." I whisper at him and he smiles. "Yeah she is isn't she?" He replied and we just sat there petting Soph in complete silence until we heard it.



"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP." That went on forever.




i see a bunch of doctors rushing in a out as we both stand up, holding onto each other. I curl into alan with Sophie between us and I let out silent tears and sobs. I feel alan wrap his arms around me and nuzzle his head into my shoulder. I see Aaron rushing towards us with food and drinks in his hand, and tino and phil running over from the cafeteria.
"I got a pulse." Someone said and I sat along the wall and slowly lowered myself onto the ground once more.

"please, just let him be okay. Please." I begged no one and cuddled the carat. She purred and her eyes closed, resting her head on my chest. My tears flowed swiftly down my cheeks.



How is it possible for someone to care so much over a short period of time? "alan!!" I hear someone shout from down the hall, causing us to turn all of our eyes to the person. It was Ryan Shecklar.
"I came as soon as I could." He said looking into the room where his best friend laid.

"Hey Ryan." Alan said and pulled him into a hug.





"He's awake!!"

Notes

Short, but getting into the groves of things still.