Celebrate The Way That Night Hides Scars
Chapter 73
*Unknown POV*
"Do you know what to do?" I asked the man as we watched the big group of people getting on the plane to America.
"I have an idea, but I don't want to say or try anything just yet. This IS mainly my fault..." The man said, his voice full of guilt.
"You really feel bad about this, don't you?" I asked and he nodded.
"That's why I'm talking to you. I'm talking to anyone and everyone I can think of that might help." He said and looked down at me. His demon height making him much taller than me.
"I'll help if I'm needed." I said sincerely. Working with him worried me, but he truly seemed troubled by this situation.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that."
"Well, you don't seem to be as bad anymore."
"No, I'm still bad. Real bad. I'm just doing more to try and control the bad. I'm a demon, evil, that doesn't just change."
"You're right. Either way, though, you seem to be doing well."
"You could say that even though I fucked things up."
"Mitch, you can't pin this all on yourself."
"But I can. I knew something bad was gonna happen with Tay."
"How?"
"She has always been the odd one. I didn't know what caused her to be odd, but I knew I shouldn't with her. In the end, I still did."
"So, it was a mistake. We all make them."
"But in my case, it's always life or death." Mitch paused and sighed. "My fuck up pushed Cameron to suicide."
"But you helped him as well." I said with tears coming to my eyes. Cameron is a good kid and he's so young with so much potential.
"In the end, we're just lucky that Andy pays attention to how he feels."
"You still can't blame this all on yourself."
"Yeah....I guess.....but I have to leave." Mitch said and disappeared.
*Ben's POV*
I sat in my seat on the plan in between Sally and her dad, the past week playing in my thoughts. Tay didn't even react how I thought she would.
"Cameron tried to kill himself."
"You said tried, so that must mean he's still alive." Tay said with no emotion.
"As far as we know, yes." Dad said.
"Who told you?" She asked, glaring at us.
"Does it matter?" I asked snidely. If she was gonna glare and give us attitude, I'd give it back.
"Yes, it does. Oh, and I need one of your phones once you tell me." She said simply.
"Why?" Dad asked.
"'Cause my phone is smashed and I will be calling whoever told you." Tay said.
"No, you are not!" Dad said sounding upset.
"Oh yeah?" Tay asked defiantly.
"Look at what the hell you did back here. We are gonna have to pay for this shit and now I also have to pay for you to have a new phone cause you crushed it?! Do you really think it's that easy and that anyone will let you use their phone after this?" With that, dad walked away.
"You're gonna give me your phone, right?" Tay asked me with a raised eyebrow.
"No." I said and walked back towards Sally. Seconds later the back room's door slammed shut.
"Ben?" Sally's soft voice brought me away from my thoughts.
"Yes, beautiful?" I asked.
"What do you think the note said?" I knew instantly that she meant Cam's suicide note. Andy had apparently found it, but was told to burn it and get rid of it since Cam is okay now. He had been cleaning Cameron's room for the family.
"I don't know, Sal. I really don't." I said softly. She wrapped my arm around her and laid her head on my shoulder. I played with her hair.
"Do you think things will ever get better for us? It's been pretty shitty lately." She said softly.
"Yes." Vic said, joining our conversation.
"But how do you know, daddy?" Sadness and worry clear in her voice.
"I just have a feeling about it." Vic said in a serious tone of voice. "You two should try and get some sleep. Nobody has slept well in the past week." Sally nodded and snuggled as close to me as possible.
*Tay's POV*
I was stuck between Lights and Danielle. Could this plane ride be any worse? Part of me was really upset that Cameron tried to kill himself, but a bigger part of me really didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that I didn't want to stay with Danielle and that fucking demon....that and that I had been really horny lately. "How are you feeling, Tay?" Lights asked with a small smile.
"Doesn't matter." I said snidely.
"Don't be that way, Tay." Lights said.
"Don't be what way?" I asked angrily.
"The way you're being! Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Lights said.
"Whatever." I scoffed. I had nothing to do for God knows how many hours. I destroyed all of my electronics, including my headphones.
"Taylor, how you feel really does matter and not just to me." Danielle said. I turned on her, glaring.
"You want to know how I feel? You want to know how the fuck I feel?!" I asked, my words drenched in anger.
"Of course I do." Danielle said unfazed.
"I fucking HATE you and wish you either stayed dead or left us the FUCK alone! You chose the fucking asshole who beat you, tried to kill you, dad, and my brothers, not to mention he DID end up killing you and the other three anyway! If I had it my way, I would have never known you existed when you were dead! That blinded me from Erin! Unlike you, Erin's a good mom! Unlike you, Erin cares! Unlike you, Erin's smart and would never do this shit! You can't just suddenly be alive and leave us all after, what? 14 or so years? That's not how it fucking works! Now, just leave me the fuck alone."
With that, I walked away to the bathroom. My dad stopped me on the way by grabbing my arm, but I glared and yanked my arm out of his grip easily. Once I was in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and stared into the mirror. I blinked and my eyes changed color to all black.
This strangely didn't faze me at all. This was just confirmation about how heartless and bad I've become. I really don't care anymore. I'm done living and if that means I become something like Mitch, the so be it. Maybe I should have some fun with it before I die. Is this how Mitch feels or felt? Its adrenaline pumping for sure.
*Andy's POV*
To say this was a bad week, is an understatement. It's been complete shit. Not only did Cameron try to kill himself, but I've lied to everyone, Cameron hates me, Erin has been put on bed rest until my little sister comes, and my emotions have been harder to control. I can only hope the random spurts of anger aren't a cause of Mitch.
I just feel absolutely terrible. When I was cleaning Cameron's room, I found his suicide note....I tried to hide it so I could get rid of it later before anyone knew, but Jessica found it and called Jaime right then. Needless to say, me, Jessica and Jaime are the only ones who know what it says. I promised Jessica I would get rid of it before anyone else saw it.
Everyone thought I burned it, but I lied. It's hidden, very very hidden, in my room. I just have to tell Ben. That involved lying to everyone. Then the anger seeps in. I've broken most of my knuckled this week from punching walls multiple times in a day. I can't get my mind off those fucking assholes who raped Ashley.
Those assholes have basically ruined her. She gets scared so easily and that makes my anger worse. It gets to me to know that she's scarred for life and it's all my fault. If I just hadn't drunkenly texted her that night, she would still be fine but she's not and it's all my fucking fault.
I just want to go out, find those guys, and bash their fucking heads in! These aren't new feelings either, they've been around since the rape...they just stayed hidden deep down. All the stress has been fucking with both Ash and Erin, but both pregnancies are still going well.
I wish I could say the same about my friendship with Cameron, but he's not happy with me whatsoever. He hasn't been happy since he found out he was alive.
Jessica and I were the only ones in the room still by the time Cameron woke up. Alysha and Danielle knew Erin and Ash needed to sleep and they needed to sleep in actually beds, so they left. Ash wanted me to come with too, but I couldn't. Someone needed to stay with Jessica and I was the one to save him, so I needed to
Jessica had fallen asleep at some point, but I couldn't. I just watched and waited. Cameron's eyes blinked open. I heard him sigh as he looked around. "How am I alive?" He asked, his voice hoarse.
"I guess I got there in time to save you." I said carefully.
"So, you're the reason I'm alive and handcuffed to this damn bed?" He asked. He didn't sound happy.
"Well, yeah..."
"Why? Didn't you see my damn note? I DON'T want to be alive anymore! But now I have to be! God dammit!"
"You seriously don't want to be alive, even though you're so loved and cared for?"
"Damn straight."
"But-"
"Just get out of my face." Cameron interrupted me. I didn't hesitate to leave the room.
Today, after a week on suicide watch, Cameron's has been sent to a Psychiatric Hospital. Then tonight is the return of everyone on tour. I just hope things will get better soon. Maybe this is false hope and if it is then that's gonna fucking suck. Now, to make sure that Erin is okay and doesn't need anything.
"Do you know what to do?" I asked the man as we watched the big group of people getting on the plane to America.
"I have an idea, but I don't want to say or try anything just yet. This IS mainly my fault..." The man said, his voice full of guilt.
"You really feel bad about this, don't you?" I asked and he nodded.
"That's why I'm talking to you. I'm talking to anyone and everyone I can think of that might help." He said and looked down at me. His demon height making him much taller than me.
"I'll help if I'm needed." I said sincerely. Working with him worried me, but he truly seemed troubled by this situation.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that."
"Well, you don't seem to be as bad anymore."
"No, I'm still bad. Real bad. I'm just doing more to try and control the bad. I'm a demon, evil, that doesn't just change."
"You're right. Either way, though, you seem to be doing well."
"You could say that even though I fucked things up."
"Mitch, you can't pin this all on yourself."
"But I can. I knew something bad was gonna happen with Tay."
"How?"
"She has always been the odd one. I didn't know what caused her to be odd, but I knew I shouldn't with her. In the end, I still did."
"So, it was a mistake. We all make them."
"But in my case, it's always life or death." Mitch paused and sighed. "My fuck up pushed Cameron to suicide."
"But you helped him as well." I said with tears coming to my eyes. Cameron is a good kid and he's so young with so much potential.
"In the end, we're just lucky that Andy pays attention to how he feels."
"You still can't blame this all on yourself."
"Yeah....I guess.....but I have to leave." Mitch said and disappeared.
*Ben's POV*
I sat in my seat on the plan in between Sally and her dad, the past week playing in my thoughts. Tay didn't even react how I thought she would.
"Cameron tried to kill himself."
"You said tried, so that must mean he's still alive." Tay said with no emotion.
"As far as we know, yes." Dad said.
"Who told you?" She asked, glaring at us.
"Does it matter?" I asked snidely. If she was gonna glare and give us attitude, I'd give it back.
"Yes, it does. Oh, and I need one of your phones once you tell me." She said simply.
"Why?" Dad asked.
"'Cause my phone is smashed and I will be calling whoever told you." Tay said.
"No, you are not!" Dad said sounding upset.
"Oh yeah?" Tay asked defiantly.
"Look at what the hell you did back here. We are gonna have to pay for this shit and now I also have to pay for you to have a new phone cause you crushed it?! Do you really think it's that easy and that anyone will let you use their phone after this?" With that, dad walked away.
"You're gonna give me your phone, right?" Tay asked me with a raised eyebrow.
"No." I said and walked back towards Sally. Seconds later the back room's door slammed shut.
"Ben?" Sally's soft voice brought me away from my thoughts.
"Yes, beautiful?" I asked.
"What do you think the note said?" I knew instantly that she meant Cam's suicide note. Andy had apparently found it, but was told to burn it and get rid of it since Cam is okay now. He had been cleaning Cameron's room for the family.
"I don't know, Sal. I really don't." I said softly. She wrapped my arm around her and laid her head on my shoulder. I played with her hair.
"Do you think things will ever get better for us? It's been pretty shitty lately." She said softly.
"Yes." Vic said, joining our conversation.
"But how do you know, daddy?" Sadness and worry clear in her voice.
"I just have a feeling about it." Vic said in a serious tone of voice. "You two should try and get some sleep. Nobody has slept well in the past week." Sally nodded and snuggled as close to me as possible.
*Tay's POV*
I was stuck between Lights and Danielle. Could this plane ride be any worse? Part of me was really upset that Cameron tried to kill himself, but a bigger part of me really didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that I didn't want to stay with Danielle and that fucking demon....that and that I had been really horny lately. "How are you feeling, Tay?" Lights asked with a small smile.
"Doesn't matter." I said snidely.
"Don't be that way, Tay." Lights said.
"Don't be what way?" I asked angrily.
"The way you're being! Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Lights said.
"Whatever." I scoffed. I had nothing to do for God knows how many hours. I destroyed all of my electronics, including my headphones.
"Taylor, how you feel really does matter and not just to me." Danielle said. I turned on her, glaring.
"You want to know how I feel? You want to know how the fuck I feel?!" I asked, my words drenched in anger.
"Of course I do." Danielle said unfazed.
"I fucking HATE you and wish you either stayed dead or left us the FUCK alone! You chose the fucking asshole who beat you, tried to kill you, dad, and my brothers, not to mention he DID end up killing you and the other three anyway! If I had it my way, I would have never known you existed when you were dead! That blinded me from Erin! Unlike you, Erin's a good mom! Unlike you, Erin cares! Unlike you, Erin's smart and would never do this shit! You can't just suddenly be alive and leave us all after, what? 14 or so years? That's not how it fucking works! Now, just leave me the fuck alone."
With that, I walked away to the bathroom. My dad stopped me on the way by grabbing my arm, but I glared and yanked my arm out of his grip easily. Once I was in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and stared into the mirror. I blinked and my eyes changed color to all black.
This strangely didn't faze me at all. This was just confirmation about how heartless and bad I've become. I really don't care anymore. I'm done living and if that means I become something like Mitch, the so be it. Maybe I should have some fun with it before I die. Is this how Mitch feels or felt? Its adrenaline pumping for sure.
*Andy's POV*
To say this was a bad week, is an understatement. It's been complete shit. Not only did Cameron try to kill himself, but I've lied to everyone, Cameron hates me, Erin has been put on bed rest until my little sister comes, and my emotions have been harder to control. I can only hope the random spurts of anger aren't a cause of Mitch.
I just feel absolutely terrible. When I was cleaning Cameron's room, I found his suicide note....I tried to hide it so I could get rid of it later before anyone knew, but Jessica found it and called Jaime right then. Needless to say, me, Jessica and Jaime are the only ones who know what it says. I promised Jessica I would get rid of it before anyone else saw it.
Everyone thought I burned it, but I lied. It's hidden, very very hidden, in my room. I just have to tell Ben. That involved lying to everyone. Then the anger seeps in. I've broken most of my knuckled this week from punching walls multiple times in a day. I can't get my mind off those fucking assholes who raped Ashley.
Those assholes have basically ruined her. She gets scared so easily and that makes my anger worse. It gets to me to know that she's scarred for life and it's all my fault. If I just hadn't drunkenly texted her that night, she would still be fine but she's not and it's all my fucking fault.
I just want to go out, find those guys, and bash their fucking heads in! These aren't new feelings either, they've been around since the rape...they just stayed hidden deep down. All the stress has been fucking with both Ash and Erin, but both pregnancies are still going well.
I wish I could say the same about my friendship with Cameron, but he's not happy with me whatsoever. He hasn't been happy since he found out he was alive.
Jessica and I were the only ones in the room still by the time Cameron woke up. Alysha and Danielle knew Erin and Ash needed to sleep and they needed to sleep in actually beds, so they left. Ash wanted me to come with too, but I couldn't. Someone needed to stay with Jessica and I was the one to save him, so I needed to
Jessica had fallen asleep at some point, but I couldn't. I just watched and waited. Cameron's eyes blinked open. I heard him sigh as he looked around. "How am I alive?" He asked, his voice hoarse.
"I guess I got there in time to save you." I said carefully.
"So, you're the reason I'm alive and handcuffed to this damn bed?" He asked. He didn't sound happy.
"Well, yeah..."
"Why? Didn't you see my damn note? I DON'T want to be alive anymore! But now I have to be! God dammit!"
"You seriously don't want to be alive, even though you're so loved and cared for?"
"Damn straight."
"But-"
"Just get out of my face." Cameron interrupted me. I didn't hesitate to leave the room.
Today, after a week on suicide watch, Cameron's has been sent to a Psychiatric Hospital. Then tonight is the return of everyone on tour. I just hope things will get better soon. Maybe this is false hope and if it is then that's gonna fucking suck. Now, to make sure that Erin is okay and doesn't need anything.
Notes
Well, I didn't expect this haha. Who do you think Mitch was talking to? Do you think he actually feels bad r is just acting? Do you think he's really gonna help Tay? Will Andy ever be okay? Will Andy show Ben the suicide note? Will Vic be right and everything will be okay soon? What do you think is gonna happen next?
Hope you guys like this chapter :)
-Rose
@bulletproofangel
Glad you're loving it and I don't plan on ending this one too soon :)
10/28/15