The Letter

“What have you done?!” I yelled at Oli.
“Me?! Why did you tell her about Hannah?!”
“She’s on the ground, bleeding insanely fast, out of her thigh. I’m taking her to a hospital, you are not welcome there. Fuck off Sykes.”
I grabbed Ashley and rushed to my car. I laid her down in the backseat and started driving. I had cops following me all the way, but I didn’t care. She needed to get somewhere. “Ricky?” Her weak voice called out, “I’m here baby, I’m here.” I got to the hospital, and as soon as I got out cops were on my ass. “Listen guys please! My girlfriend was just shot, I had to get here ASAP.” They let me off. I went into the hospital, everything was in German and I didn’t know how to speak it. “My girlfriend was shot!” They understood that, thank god.
They took her into the OR and I was left to wait in the waiting room. “Hello?” I said answering my phone. “Hey Ricky, it’s Austin Carlile. What happened with Sykes and Ash?” “Oli shot her in the thigh.” I heard Austin scream, “I’m coming.” Austin hung up and I’m guessing left. I sat in the quiet room, shaking, scared, hardly able to keep my food up. I saw Austin burst through the door. I motioned him over and he sat down next to me. I looked at the time. She’d been in there for an hour, this isn’t good.
I tried to hold in my tears, and I could see Austin was trying too. I didn’t even know she was friends with him, but I guess she was. I felt a vibration coming from my pocket, I grabbed Ashley’s phone and looked at it. It was a New York number. Her aunt… “This is Ricky.” I said into the phone. “Ricky! What the hell are you doing with Ashley’s phone?!” She shouted. “Listen, ma’am, Oli, the ‘sweet’ British boy that was with your niece, just tried to kill her. And when I tried, he put me up to it. So please, don’t be mad at me. Just, come to Munich, Germany. I’ll be here with her for a few days.”
“Fine.”
Then she hung up. I felt horrible, I should’ve seen it coming. I should have. I shouldn’t have ever hurt her! It was all his fault! He told me if I didn’t that he’d kill me too! I should’ve just let him kill me instead of putting her through all of this. “Party for Ashley Manson?” The doctor said walking through the doors. Austin and I both stood up, he led us back to the ICU where she was laying in the bed. “She isn’t awake, but she’s stable.” He said, then left.
Austin and I sat on opposite sides of her and held her hands. I looked at her skin, she was so pale. Then I noticed the tube that was going down her throat, but it wasn’t a breathing tube. “Do you know what this is?” I asked Austin. “Looks like a stomach pump.” “A what?” “You use it to either take food out or put food in. And by the looks of her, they’re putting it in.”
I looked at how thin her hands are. She was so fucking tiny. I can’t believe how skinny she was. I should’ve stopped this too. “Oli has to be put away.” Austin said angrily. “Yeah, I know. I just, I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. I mean, he did it with Hannah.”
“What?!”
“He tried to poison her, she survived and he pays her like a million every year to keep her mouth shut.”
“God, that’s ridiculous. This girl, what I’ve read about her, she’s gone through so much, I honestly don’t trust you with her either.” Austin said, his eyes piercing me.
“Listen, dude. It was Oli who asked me to do it all. I was just scared. He has dirt on me I don’t want getting out. I did what I had to.”
“But at what cost?! A 17 year old girl’s life?!”
“She was 16… 16 the first time it all happened.”
“Ricky, I have lost all respect for you and Oli.”
I felt horrible. Austin stormed off and I sat there with Ashley, holding her cold hand, watching as the liquefied food was going into her stomach. I looked around the room and realized Austin never left. He was standing there, on his phone, quietly arguing with someone. I didn’t even want to know. I heard something about how the tour was canceled. I felt Ashley shuffle a little, I looked at her, she was slowly opening her eyes. I smiled a bit and kissed her forehead. She smiled and then started choking. The pump down her throat was causing it. Austin called for a nurse and they made us leave.
We were in the waiting room again, waiting for her to finish. The nurse told us we could go back in. Austin walked over to her and handed her a piece of paper with writing on it. I got kind of mad when they didn’t let me see it. She had a huge smile on her face though. She motioned for someone to get her a pin, I reached over and grabbed one and handed it to her. She wrote on it and handed it back to him.
~Ashley’s POV~
Austin handed me a note that read, “You know little lady, if you would just come live with me you’d never have to deal with this shit.” I laughed and wrote down, “I don’t know man, I have this issue with band members xD” We wrote back and forth to each other for a while. I forgot Ricky was in the room until he handed me a slip of paper that looked like it had gone through hell. Then he left, head down and hands in his pockets.
I set Austin’s note down and unfolded Ricky’s,
Dear Ashley,
You might be wondering why I showed up. I came to apologize for all that I had done to you. For every little part of you I’ve hurt. Head to toe and everywhere in between. Ashley, Oli is not who you think he is. He just isn’t. I’m just so fucking sorry for hurting you. A year ago I never would’ve thought that that one letter would result in all of this. If I would’ve known I would’ve just let you be a normal 16 year old girl. I’m sorry, for everything Ashley. God and it hurts to write this, because I’ve hurt you so much, and you’re so beautiful, and you just don’t deserve it. God Ashley I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry I put you through all of this shit. I’m so fucking sorry Ashley. I’ll talk to you soon Ashley. Bye.
I was crying, my eyes were burning from the tears that I tried to hold in. I could hardly breathe. Ricky please… come back. I grabbed Austin’s phone and texted him, telling him to come back. Moments later I heard footsteps approach my room and there he was. His eyes were as red as mine were, his blue eyes were now a foggy grey. “R-Ricky…” I whispered. He came over to me and hugged me tightly. “I’m so sorry Ashley.” He cried out. I asked Austin to leave for a moment while I talked to Ricky.
We talked for an hour or so. The hospital said I was stable enough to leave. Ricky, Austin, and I all shared one hotel room. I slept with Ricky half the night, then the other half with Austin. I don’t know why I did that, but I did. I felt more comfortable in Austin’s arms, and more scared in Ricky’s, I honestly had no idea what the fuck to do.

Notes

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