Callie had a photo shoot to head to the next morning, which my mother gladly took the liberty to take her to. I offered but my mom said by the time I make it up North I won’t have enough time to head back to school. I complied, of course, since my mother wanted to speak with Callie privately anyway. I knew it wouldn’t be in a chastising manner, but I did assume that it would have some sort of parenting demeanor, and those talks were always a little nerve wracking.

I pulled into campus with the jitters and it wasn’t from the Venti coffee I downed during the twelve minute drive. I went over the conversation in my head. So far, the scenario I have playing in my mind goes a little something like:

Me: Hey Tony.

*Impassive Tony looks at me.* Tony: Hey.

Me: So I have something to say…

Tony: Don’t wanna hear it.

Me: I just wanna apologize.

Tony: Whatever…

It wasn’t much of a scenario, but I was preparing myself for the worst. Besides, I’m not really creative with this kind of stuff. I walked into campus with my backpack weighing down on my shoulders. It was bulky and the more nervous I felt, the faster I walked. The faster I walked, the more my bag would hit against my lower back. I was gripping my straps while looking down the hallways. It was mostly empty, a few students here and there, but I was only looking for one person. I was walking aimlessly, hoping by happenstance that I’d bump into him somehow. After ten minutes of walking around the school halls—which by the way I received weird stares from a few passerby’s since I passed them at least three times—I decided to head up to my locker to lighten the load of my backpack.

My locker was a hike away since the school system decided to place it in the ass-back of everything. I cursed Admin until my pace came to a sudden halt. There he was, leaning against my locker. His eyes were casted down on his shoes. My breathing caught in my throat because all the words I rehearsed in my head began to disappear from my completely. When Tony looked up at me he began to straighten up a bit. He offered a small smile, which I returned.

“Hi.” He blurted out.

I offered another small smile. “Um…hi.”

Awkward silence began to settle over us as we tried to avoid each other’s gaze. I was afraid if I looked Tony in his eyes that I’d get lost in them, as I did so many times before.

“I needed to talk with you.” I said abruptly, making me and him both jump.

“Yeah, me too.” He mumbled.

I focused on what I needed to say. I’m sorry. I was being stupid. It’s not your fault. I’m just an idiot.

As I went over these four simple declarative sentences, none came out. I sighed. “Um…I guess…shit I suck at this.” I mumbled.

I glanced up at Tony who looked like he wanted to say something, but was waiting for me to speak first. I wasn’t sure what to say because what would I be sorry for? It was then that I remembered I had Tony’s birthday present in my backpack. I quickly shrugged off my bag and dug through the folder that I kept the envelope in. I believed that this would be an apology enough, since I suck at apologies.

“Verity, I just wanted to tell you that—“ I cut him off.

I didn’t need to hear his apology because he didn’t need to apologize for my idiocy. “Please, you don’t have to.” I quickly said while holding out the envelope out to him. “I suck at apologies, so this is my apology.” Tony was about to open the envelope. “No—um—don’t open it in front of me.” I quickly said, halting Tony’s hand on the envelope seal.

He looked at me peculiarly. “Okay…”

“It’s just—when you know what you want, I guess, you can open it.” My sentence sounded immensely butchered, but Tony nodded with understanding.

Even though I didn’t put any of my textbooks away, I decided to walk away. I felt like I was gonna cry, but I sucked it up. Tony wasn’t calling out for me, which made wish I would’ve let him speak. But I was being stubborn, and I wasn’t sure how I’d react if he started talking. I’d probably crumble into his arms and take him back, but we’ve been down that road. There was too much tension between us that I knew we wouldn’t last if he stayed here and I went off to New York. I wanted us to work out and I wanted Tony to be the guy I marry, but in the scheme of it all there was no possible way we could work. The distance and the fact that he’s having a kid—he’d never choose me, and that’s the option I gave him: the life he’ll have here or me.

---

It was lunch and I was sitting at an empty lunch table pushing around soggy salad with my fork. School lunch will never be perfect, I know that, but I couldn’t understand how someone could mess up the aesthetic of a simple green salad. After five minutes of reading and drinking water—since eating salad was out of the question—Mike and Austin slid in the seat in front of me.

“Hey V.” Mike greeted. “Where’s Callie?”

“Oh, she had a photo shoot this morning so my mom had to take her.” I answered; unsure if Callie had told Mike anything about her mother, so I kept my response to a minimum. Austin was still dodging my stare, which I found weird, but I also found it weird that Tony wasn’t with them. “Where’s Tony?” I asked.

“Oh, um…he said he was feeling a little sick, so he went home.” Mike answered a little awkwardly.

Why the heck are these guys acting weird???

“Are you guys alright…because you’re acting weirder than usual.” I commented.

Austin sighed. “Didn’t you talk to Tony?”

“Yeah…well kinda.” I answered. “I mean, we were going to but I kinda chickened out of it.”

“What do you mean you chickened out of it?” Mike asked with exasperation.

“I had an entire speech planned out, but when it came down to it I just gave him his birthday gift because I forgot what I wanted to say.” I answered.

“So he didn’t say anything?” Austin asked.

“What, like he’s sorry or whatever?” I responded rhetorically. “Tony shouldn’t have to apologize because I was the idiot not him.”

“Does he know that you feel this way?” Mike asked.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled. “I just told you two that I forgot what I wanted to say, so I highly doubt that he knows all of that in specific.”

Austin just shook his head. “You guys were supposed to talk.”

“Whatever okay.” I exasperatedly replied. “I get that we should’ve talked, but honestly its best if we’re not together.” As I said this I was beginning to stand up. “It’s not like we’re soul mates or whatever, we’re just…I don’t know—we’re different which is why we can’t work.” I was rambling and most of it was lies, but I wasn’t up for spilling the truth, not in the packed cafeteria where some people could overhear what I was saying.

“Different?” Mike questioned.

“Yeah, different.” I confirmed. “Like, he’ll be here and I’ll be in New York. Just different.” I sighed while picking up my plate. “I need to head to my calculus class.” I said then darted away.

I wasn’t ready to analyze everything. As I was walking away I did hear Austin call out to me, wanting me to stop, but I just picked up my pace and scurried away until I was long gone down the hall, lost in the crowded hallway.

Notes

I decided to upload two chapters because I'm trying to move this story along quickly. I hope you guys haven't lost interest yet because I'm stalling like a muthafuckah lol. Anyway, so Verity spoke with Tony, kinda sorta.

I have something up my sleeve for the next chapter, and most likely it'll be a time jump. What do you think is in the envelope that Verity gave Tony?? :)