Where Do We Go From Here?

I drove until I was good and lost. The streets didn’t look familiar and if I wasn’t mistaken I’m pretty sure I was close to the Mexican border. By now I had wiped away my tears and chose to just park my car and sit in it. The taste of morning was prominent in my mouth which made me cringe at its taste. There was a bank of payphones near the wall of the building I was parked in front of. Thankfully, I had some money in my car that I could call someone. Adjusting my sweatpants and Thrasher t-shirt, I got out and walked to it. No one was around to see me, but I glanced around anyway. Pushing the quarter into the slot, I dialed Tony’s cell number, hoping he’d answer.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Finally, by the fourth ring a very tired and groggy voice answered. “Hello.” Tony croaked out.

“Tony?” I asked in a small voice.

“Verity?” He asked with a more alert voice. “Are you okay?” He asked.

I shook my head no. “I don’t think so.”

The tears started again, but I tried to keep the sadness out of my voice.

“What’s the matter, Verity?” He asked with great concern.

“I don’t know where it went wrong.” I answered, thinking back to my parents.

“Where what went wrong? Verity, you’re scaring me, just talk to me.” He urged.

“God, I’m so selfish.” I commented. “I am too busy worrying about myself that I can’t see that my family isn’t okay. We’re not okay!” I said; my voice cracking because my wretchedness was clearly evident in my voice.

“Where are you?” Tony asked. I could hear him shuffling with putting on a shirt while walking around his room.

“I don’t know.” I managed to say while wiping away my tears. It didn’t matter because they kept spilling over.

“I’m coming to you.” Tony told me. “Just—just tell me what you see.”

I looked around and only saw a large white building and a Denny’s. I told Tony what I saw, but my voice kept wavering and cracking that I had to repeat it for him. He told me to wait in my car for him until he arrives. After hanging up, I walked to my car and sat there, crying into my hands as—yet again—more sad songs started fill the small car. My head began to hurt from crying so much, and I was no longer sure if I was really sad or really guilty. I was spazzing at the graffiti’d wall when Tony tapped on my window. I looked at him through puffy eyes and a blank expression. Unlocking my doors, Tony hopped into the passenger seat while pulling me closer to him. He didn’t say anything, but instead let me silently cry into the crook of his neck as he smoothed out my hair. He repeatedly kissed my hair until my crying stopped and all I was left with was an empty feeling in my gut and a heavy feeling in my chest.

I slowly pulled away from Tony before saying “I’m sorry for waking you up so early.”

It was only now that the clock read 9 o’clock. I hadn’t realized the early on the day was until now.

“Don’t apologize.” Tony murmured. “What happened?”

I sighed while twiddling my thumbs. “My parents have been arguing for a while, and only recently did I actually catch on. But…my mom she—uh, she’s mentioned divorce in her arguments.” I explained softly while staring at the graffiti’d wall.

Tony was silent as he waited for me to continue.

“I never saw it coming because I refuse to focus on anyone but myself. I mean, how selfish can I be?”

“You’re not selfish.” Tony quickly interjected with assurance.

“But I am.” I countered. “I knew something was off with Veronica before she landed in the hospital in New York and yet I did nothing. And now, now my parents are on this edge of divorce and I was too enveloped with my petty high school shit that I couldn’t see that they were going through their own strife.”

“That doesn’t make you selfish.” Tony cut in. “Verity, if there’s one thing I know it’s that we’re all selfish machines. We’re all these monsters that demand to be known.” He assured me before saying “What happened with your sister was her decision. You couldn’t have intervened with her decision even if you wanted to. And as for your parents, it’s not your fault they’re arguing. They’re going through a rough patch and maybe divorce might be an easy way out or a solution, but they’re probably still figuring things out.”

It got silent after that as I gradually digested Tony’s words. It was a lot to take in and very perceptive. I knew that deep down Tony was right, but my stubborn self couldn’t accept it just yet. I couldn’t allow myself to be off the hook, not until I suffered a bit.

I shrugged in response. Tony was about to lean in and kiss me, but I quickly dodged his gesture. He looked hurt.

“Sorry, it’s that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, so I still have morning breath.” I explained.

Tony chuckled. “I love you, Verity. Do you actually think morning breath could scare me away?”

“Maybe.” I mumbled out.

“Well then, you’d be considerably wrong.” He smiled then quickly pecked my lips.

I let out a halfhearted giggle—mostly to humor him—while pressing my back into the seat of my car.

Tony looked around before asking “Why’d you come out here?”

I chuckled while tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “Honestly, I had no idea where I was going.”

“Ready to go home then?” He asked.

I was wary at his suggestion.

“You have to face your parents sooner or later.” He pointed out.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “Fine.” I mumbled out.

“You can follow me.” Tony said before adding “I know the way out.”

I smiled gratefully at him before he hopped out and walked back to his car. We drove back to my house in a matter of twenty minutes. I wondered if my time away made my parents angry or if maybe they will understand as to why I freaked out the way I did. Tony idled at the curb, waiting for me to get out before leaving himself. However, he turned off his car and escorted me back to my house, all the while holding my hand as he walked me into my home. I only now felt just how calloused his fingers were, making me think back to that one day he played his guitar for me. He played a mellow tune that became my newest and most favorite lullaby.

Walking into the living area, I saw my mother and father wearing a crossed expression on their faces. Their eyes darted from Tony to me and I knew just from their expression that this morning would only go downhill.

Notes

Just a heads up the next few chapters might not get happy.

Will update if I see some comments :)

Thanks for reading guys!! <3