Where Do We Go From Here?

You’d think that just because Halloween was the next day that I’d have a costume put together. However, it wasn’t the case for me. I had still yet to fashion together a costume since I never really worn one since I was in grade school. Now, as I stare the ticking clock of Halloween down, I am frantically scrounging through Sunrise Ridge Mall in hopes I can find a decent costume to wear. Callie was by my side as we went from store to store in hopes to find a costume. Callie had her costume planned back in August; she decided to be Wonder Woman—she even had the gold bands and white boots to go with the suit she bought from eBay. I wasn’t as lucky as to finding a costume. Everything was either over sexualized or too childlike.

“Why couldn’t you and Tony plan a costume together?” Callie asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Because we haven’t been dating for a long time, and Tony had already planned on being the Ninja Turtles with Mike them.” I pointed out.

Callie popped her bubble gum before sifting through the clothes racks. She smirked before pulling out a medieval looking costume which I slightly cringed at. She then put it back and continued to search through the racks.

“So did your parents say anything about that Columbia campus tour?” She asked, making conversation to ease my nerves.

I nodded. “Yeah, my father finally agreed to it since the tour offered a few great opportunities for me to experience.”

Callie smiled. “I wish I was smart enough to go there with you, V.” She commented, almost a longing tone in her voice.

“Cal’s your smart.” I assured her.

“Hardly.” She mumbled. Shaking her head, she added “I’ve applied to Colorado University and UNLV.”

I smiled. “Those are good schools. I bet you’ll go crazy in Vegas.”

Callie shook her head. “Maybe, but I wouldn’t have minded going to a college you’d get into.”

I wasn’t prepared to realize this. You know, the whole going-off-to-college-and-meeting-new-people-while-your-long-time-friends-slowly-become-a-distant-memory. Callie was my longest friendship and my truest friend at that. I knew that Callie wouldn’t apply to the colleges I had, but the realization that we would no longer be on the same campus, sharing the same lunch hour did bring upon a wave of pre-mature nostalgia.

“Whatever happens, I’ll make sure that you’ll always be my best friend.” I said to her before we both returned to looking through the costume racks in silence.

Callie pulled out a few questionable costume ideas before she handed me a Guy Fawkes mask as a joke. “You could go as V.” She said with a small laugh in her voice.

I cocked an eyebrow, liking her suggestion. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” I mused.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Callie lightly scoffed.

“No.” I answered bluntly. “I mean, c’mon Cal’s. Being V would probably suit me best.”

Callie gave me an intentional slow blink while wearing an impassive expression on her face. “You want to be some psychotic guy that blows up Parliament?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

Callie looked doubtfully at the Guy Fawkes mask before handing it to me. “Then I guess all we need to find is a black cape and a wig for you to wear.”

I smiled like a five year old before searching through the racks for a large black cape and (fingers crossed) a decent black haired wig. It took two full hours, three different costume stores, and a bag of thin mints to find the remaining items of my costume. I even bought black boots for the occasion. When I got home, I assembled my attire on my bed, looking at it carefully. Callie had her things hanging in my closet since I chose to be the designated driver once again.

“I can’t wait for Mike to see me in this.” She exclaimed excitedly.

I smiled. “He’ll probably drool over himself.” I commented.

Callie looked at my costume and pursed her lips. “I just wish you chose something that would show off your curves rather than hide them.”

I rolled my eyes in return. “This isn’t mean girls.” I pointed out. “The slut rule doesn’t apply to every girl on Halloween.”

Callie snickered. “Did you just reference Mean Girls?”

“It’s your favorite movie, of course I’d mention that around you.” I replied defensively.

“Oh Verity Abraham.” She laughed.

I rolled my eyes again and dropped the conversation altogether. We spent the rest of Hallows Eve watching reruns of horror movies. If it wasn’t a marathon of Halloween on TNT then it was a marathon of Freddie Krueger, Friday the Thirteenth, and—my all time favorite—The Shining. When we got bored with mainstream horror movies, Callie ventured into my families collection of score-n-gore and fished out some old films that were generous with the sight of blood and guts. Callie and I eventually fell asleep to The Wizard of Gore—the 1970 film, not the remake in 07—around two in the morning.

Upon waking up the next morning, the movie was on the main menu, featuring some terrified screams of women in peril. The main menu then filled up with blood, making me chuckle as I turned it off. Callie was curled up on the left side of my bed, hugging my body length pillow to her chest as she snored softly. It was still early for me to be awake, but I couldn’t fall back asleep. As I padded downstairs, I could hear my mother and father talking. Their discussion was of an argumentative nature and it made me tense a little because I haven’t heard them arguing since the night I got grounded—which was roughly over a week or two ago.

“…I’m trying Jim. I really am.” My mother’s voice said in a whisper that seemed to be loud enough for me to hear.

“Grace, I can’t take back what’s been done but I can try to earn your forgiveness.” My father replied.

I was waiting in the hallway, my heart beating in my ears, and my feet glued to the hardwood floors. Every fiber in my body was on edge, fearing to be caught but wanting to hear what was going on.

“And I appreciate that. I do, but how can I believe you? You’ve lied to me before.” My mother’s voice cracked. She hardly ever cries.

My father’s voice got tight, as if he too was getting choked up. “We can’t just give up now. We need to be strong for everyone.”

I heard my mother sigh. “The only reason I’m trying is because of our kids and your mother.” Silence followed after my mother’s statement. It was then I heard her coffee mug touch the counter before she started speaking again. “Do you really want our marriage to be held together just because of the people in our lives and not because we love each other?”

I felt my breathing stop and my eyes go wide.

“But I love you, Grace. I love you so much.” My father pleaded.

She sighed again. I knew that sigh very well because it was always followed by something the other person didn’t really want to hear. “I don’t think your love will be enough.”

And just like that, over fifteen years of marriage, it was all about to be flushed away. I didn’t want to walk into the kitchen anymore. I didn’t even want to be in the house anymore. I knew Callie was upstairs, still sleeping, but I grabbed my car keys before rushing out of the house and fleeting into my car. I didn’t realize I was crying until I was pulling out of the driveway, and by then my father had stepped outside to see me pulling away.

I was listening to an old CD I made when I was a freshmen. It was made up of songs that were making me sob heavily. If it wasn’t What a Catch Donnie by Fall Out Boy that was making me cry, it was I Don’t Love You Anymore by My Chemical Romance that did it in for me. I was a mess, a complete fucking mess while driving through the suburban area where I lived. I didn’t have my wallet nor did I have my phone, and I felt a little grimy because I didn’t brush my teeth since I had just woken up. Lacking money, communication, and hygiene made the thought of doing anything rather pointless. All I had was a tank full of gas and an open road with cluttered mind. It was Halloween and yet I didn’t feel up to celebrating the dead.

Notes

Welp, that happened.

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Thanks for reading guys <3