Ghost In The Mirror

Im not sad anymore. I don't cry myself to sleep like I did just a few night ago thinking this was all my fault. Im pissed. None of us deserved that from him, at all.

Ryan is so heartbroken that he wont talk to anyone but Ariel. Even then it's short, choppy sentences. Chris and Angelo are so pissed off they snap at the smallest of things. Ricky and Devin just want everything back to normal, as do I.

Ariel is so upset over Ryan she wont talk to anyone but Ryan and me. Caylin and Rosie are scared that their boyfriends might go to far so they avoid them a bit. Mar is on the same boat as Devin and Ricky, wanting everything to go back to normal. As for Opal, she's as pissed as I am.

I've been talking to Brad a lot lately. He's been here when I needed him and for that, Im happy. I don't want to go to anyone else for my problems because everyone else is having Josh issues. I don't want to burden them. I feel bad for crying on Brad all the time but he's helped a lot.

Someone knocked on my door. I groaned before getting off the couch. I opened my door to see Brad standing there, a cheesey grin on his face. "Hello beautiful." He greeted, patting my head. I swatted his hand and and let him inside.

"Brad, why are you here?" I groaned. I just wanted an afternoon to myself. I sat back on the couch, Brad sitting beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Am I not aloud to see my favorite brunette?" He pouted, giving me a side hug.

"If you wanted to do that you would just go look in a mirror." I mocked, pulling away from him. He smirked and poked my arm.

"That's very true." He stated, rubbing his face. "Anyways, thats not really why Im here. I wanted to see," he paused shuffling around in his pockets for something. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. "If you would go to that with me."

I opened the envelope and pulled out two tickets to a Misfits concert. The same one Josh was supposed to take me to. "Yeah." I sighed, giving him a small sad smile.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side.

"Nothing." I shook my head. "Im fine." I smiled at him, trying to prove my point. He smiled at me, buying my story. He doesn't know about Josh and I. Well, as far as I know. I haven't told him about anything. Josh may have told him everthing, even though there isn't much to tell.

"Ok." He beamed. His phone started ringing. He fished it out of his pocket and pressed it against his hear. "Hello? Really? Ok. Ill be there soon." He hung up and looked over at me sadly. "I gotta go."

"Darn." It was now my turn to pout, even though I wasn't all that sad of my friends departure. He gave me an awkward hug then left. I was alone again.

I got off the couch and walked into my bedroom and over to my stereo and put in my favorite Misfits CD, Collection 2. I sat in my desk chair and started on my homework. About halfway through the album, duing the song Braineaters, someone walked in my apartment. Thinking it was one of my friends, I yelled, "Im in my room!"

I heard someone walk in as I got up to turn my stereo off. "That's a good song." I heard a familiar voice say.

"Yeah. It is." I smiled. I turned around to find Josh standing in my doorway, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was propped against the doorway, one foot crossed over the other. My smile fell off my face as I realized that it was HIM that was standing in my doorway. "Get out." I demanded, turning back around so I could turn my CD back on.

He reached over me to grab my hand, stopping me from doing what I wanted. "I need to talk to you." He stated.

"I don't want to listen." I growled, snatching my arm out of his grip.

"Why not?" He questioned. "You don't have to say anything. I just want you to listen!"

"Because you don't deserve it!" I yelled, shoving his chest. He sighed loudly. I glared at him intensely.

He walked towards me at a fast pace and pushed me aginst a wall before connecting his lips with mine. Every part of me wanted to push him away but I couldn't. As I kiised him back in a rough, chaste kiss tears started to sting my eyes with the realization of how much I missed this. The pooled over as I closed my eyes, putting every ounce of hope I had in this kiss. A kiss full of tears, teeth, and to much tounge. Did I care? No. Josh was kissing me. That's all that matters.

His hands gripped my hips tightly as my hands weaved their way into his hair like we did before. His body was pressed hard against mine. This wasn't exactly how I excepted us to make up, if that's what you would call it.

He pulled away. That was when I realized that it wasn't only me that was crying but Josh as well. He had fresh tears streaming down his face. "Will you listen now?" He pleaded, his forehead rested against mine. "Please?"

"Ok." I whispered, nodding my head.

"Im sorry. I know that's not enough but I can't do this knowing you think I hate you. If I did then none of this would be worth it. I love you, Tarra. I love you so much that it hurts. I can't tell you what's going on yet but just know that I left all of you because I love you guys. I hate myself for what I've had to put you through. You didn't deserve it. Im so sorry."

"I love you to Josh. What's going on though? Please tell me." I begged.

"I can't tell you what's going on but I can say one thing. Don't trust Brad."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"I can't tell you. Just don't trust him."

"Ok." I nodded again.

"I need to go. I just wanted to tell you that." He said sadly.

"When will I see you again?"

"Only time will tell." He whispered. He kissed me one last time before leaving.

Notes

New chapter! Not really. It's a rewrite of the chapter I poseted last night cause I hated it so much. This one made me happy though. :)

So enjoy my lovelies!