The Drug In Me Was You

The elevator ride was completely awkward after that. I knew that if I would've taken off my sunglasses that were doing a great job at hiding my facial expression, Austin would've seen how truly pissed off I was. I couldn't even form logical thoughts in my head. It was merely clouded with anger, and the want and need to kill him in the elevator.

When the elevator came to a halt me and Alan, who was still holding my sleeping Fallon in his arms went to get off. But, at the same time Austin also stepped out.

"Oh, what are doing here by the way?" Alan finally asked, the question I had been asking myself the whole time.

"Oh, well I'm meeting up with Gielle to look at this one apartment." He smiled.

"Oh cool." Alan stated plainly, clearly not enthused. But, neither was I at the moment.

"Look, I know you don't like her but c'mon man, she's changed a lot since last time. I trust her now, I know she's in my life for a reason." He stated.

"Yeah, well this is us." He said nodding to the door, that I was unlocking as quickly as I could trying to get away from Austin.

As soon as Alan took Fallon into her room, and I heard the door shut. I let out a very frustrated groan. How the fuck? What the fuck? Honestly, what the hell just happened.

"Okay, hit me with what's going on." Alan said, getting two beers out of my fridge. After what I just experienced, after 4 whole years of not seeing Austin I couldn't even function.

"Honestly, I have no words." I shook my head in disgust, taking a swig of the bitter alcohol.

"I know you must have some words, c'mon Phoen. That had to be hard for you." He stared over to me, making sure to keep his distance though in case I became destructive.

"I'm just like, wow. I don't even know, seeing him was one thing. I was expecting him to kind of be dumbfounded about seeing me. But the fucker didn't even remember me. He didn't even FUCKING REMEMBER ME!" I shouted, in frustration. Alan kept quiet knowing I wasn't through.

"I mean how different do I actually look?" I questioned, truly wanting to know the answer. How significant was this change in my appearance? Because, all that truly happened was I got tanner, and my hair got blonder. That's it.

"Honestly I recognized you from just bumping into you." He said.

"Then, this is the icing on the fucking cake. He's back with Gielle? Since when? When did that fucking happen? Was it part of the reason he didn't even talk to me while you guys were off living the fucking life. While I was here, raising our god damn child! I know I have to take the blame for not telling him, but he acted like he didn't give a fuck about me. I just wanna know where Gielle comes back into the picture. When did that happen?" I ranted.

"Um, like a couple months back. I guess they're trying to settle their differences, I guess Gielle is sorry, and Austin. Well, Austin is kinda devastated. He claims he loves her, but I knew from the way he acted with you, that he actually loved you. He doesn't love her, he's only with her because he's afraid of being alone. After you left and you guys never spoke he slept around big time, he drank himself into oblivion every night, and that's probably why he didn't recognize you. He pushed and pushed that part of his life away. He was so hurt, I remember him crying at night, I could hear him. He wrote so many songs about you. So many, a couple of them are on our records. Phoenix, I know it seemed like he didnt care.but you weren't the only one hurting." Alan spoke to me, and his words really hit a nerve.

How could I be so blind? I thought Austin and I were so different, but it turns out were one in the same.

Notes

Chapter 4

enjoy!

steph <3

^-^