The Drug In Me Was You

I twiddled my thumbs as Alan and I sat in silence. He was the last person I thought I would have to ever explain myself too. I thought after Austin left and dropped talking and associating with me, I figured the rest of them would stop too. It was just a matter of time really.

"Why didn't you tell anybody?" Alan looked over to my tense self.

"I didn't want to worry him, or you, or any of the guys for that matter." I whispered.

"Phoenix, if that is Austin's daughter then he sort of has a right to know that it is his." He said in a fatherly tone.

I sighed and thought about the last four years of my life, they were the happiest I had been. Even when I was Austin, I was still sad. He made me happy, but Fallon is my life. My baby, my everything. She depends on me, and I have to be there for her.

"Alan, that chapter in my life is closed. I have Fallon now, and I love her more than anything or anyone. She is just all I need, I don't need anything else." And I was telling the truth, if Austin ever came back I don't know what I'd do.

"Okay, well all I'm telling you is at Austin should know Phoenix. But, you've managed to keep it from him for four years so the decision is in your hands." Alan spoke. And I simply nodded.

I pondered upon telling him, but I mean talking to him again would just be awkward. How could I possibly bring he has a daughter. "Uh hey Austin long time no see, remember when you left and never spoke to me again, well I pregnant and now you have a 4 year old daughter." Yeah that would should great.

"Alan what are even doing here?" I questioned.

"Well I came to find an apartment, because were back in LA to write." He sighed, then his lips twitched into a wide smile.

"Phoenix! Can we live together?" He begged, pushing his bottom lip out.

Did I want him to live here? With me? And my daughter? How would Fallon feel about that? Technically it would uncle Alan, but still I wouldn't want her growing attached, she did that once before when I was in a relationship with a really nice guy named Ricky but then things started getting weird, he'd come home late and he'd always be drunk, and he beat me. So we decided to leave each other. I took Fallon, and she constantly asked about where Ricky was. My daughter does need a father figure, but I wouldn't want her thinking it was Alan.

"I'll tell Fallon, uncle Alan is coming to stay for a while." I sighed, giving into his childish behavior.

"Fallon? Her names Fallon? Phoenix that's beautiful, I love it. And yay uncle Alan is moving in!" He jumped up and down, grabbing onto me in the process and hugging me.

"So what are we drinking?" Alan asked.

"Wine." I stated, holding up my glass which was still full.

"Let's drink something that we can actually get fucked up off." He laughed, pulling out the one bottle of Jack Daniels I actually had.

He poured some in two glasses and gave one to me.

"Drink up." He said clanking his glass against mine.

After about 6 glasses later, and the joint that Alan had we were stoned and wasted. I laughed hysterically at Alan trying to pour himself another glass. I stumbled over to him wrapping my arm around his waist.

"I-I think you're cu-cut off." I laughed, and he laughed falling onto my body causing us both to tumble to the floor, cracking up the entire time.

He was propped on his elbows laughing and smiling down at me.

"You're be-beautiful." He said brushing hair away from my face. Causing the heat to rise to my cheeks.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked. And I nodded, eagerly.

We began kissing, and they were light airy kisses. His lips just gently brushing against mine, they felt mesmerizing against mine. I had never looked at Alan this way before. I only looked at him as a friend. Never more, well that's because I had Austin. If we never had hooked up, I probably would've went after Alan.

As of right now, I knew I was frees of any type of relationships. I had nothing to feel guilt about whatsoever, but a apart of me felt like I was cheating on Austin all over again. I pushed the thoughts away and brushed my tongue against his lower plump lip. He opened his mouth and our tongues danced together, fighting for dominance which he won instantly. He explores my mouth and I gladly let him do so.

He pulled himself away from me and pulled me to my feet, then pulling me close into his body reattaching the kiss. He grabbed underneath my bum and pulled my body up so I had my legs wrapped around to his back. He began walking down the hall to my room. He gently sat back on the bed, never breaking the kiss and all the thoughts of Austin and I's times when we would do this.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" He stopped staring at me, his eyes burning with lust and passion.

Did I wanna do this? Was I ready? To move on? From Austin? I didn't know what I wanted to do, I was nervous. My head was saying no, my heart was saying it's up to you I mean Austin probably moved on, and the clenching feeling in my stomach was saying hell yeah go for it girl.

"I'm sure, I've wanted to for a while."

Notes

Chapter 2

enjoy, I hope you like it!

Steph

^-^