The Drug In Me Was You

"Fallon, please calm down, momma's trying to unpack." I hollered, as my four year year screamed in excitement about her very own room. Which was odd because she had one before also.

"Momma, can we go to get some ice cream?" She yelled, running out to me. Bouncing up and down, causing my migraine to slightly increase.

"If you play quietly in your room until mommy's done, than yes." I stared into her hopeful blue eyes.

She screamed and I shushed her, and she tip toed down down her to room, being extra quiet. Sometimes she would be a bit rambunctious but she definitely got that from her father. I scrolled at the thought of him.

Incase you're wondering, that day I left Austin tried calling, but I didn't answer. And after that he kinda just stopped with the calls, and text messages all together. How could he be so low? I questioned myself everyday for a year, solid. He didn't even bother asking how I was, or anything.

Alan kept in touch, I've heard from him every once in a while. But, he never brought up Austin. Ever. I shook the never ending cycle of thoughts away as I unpacked boxes. I currently moved back into LA, it's closer to work for me. So Fallon and I sort of just ended up here. She loved this town, I don't know why, she was exactly like Austin in every way. She had all his mannerisms, his smile, and his puppy dog sad eyes whenever they wanted something. It was hard not to think of him every time I saw my little bundle of joy, but it was just me and her and I couldn't be anymore thankful.

"Fallon mommy's done, let's go. Then I gotta drop you off at grandma's for the night." I yelled down the hall.

"Yay, grandma gives me candy." She giggled clutching onto the teddy bear that Austin gave me for valentines day 4 years ago. It was her favorite stuffed animal.

We went to get ice cream and I dropped her off at my moms, chatting with her and my father for a little while, before I went back home. As I walked through the lobby of my building I bumped into someone. But, I never looked at who I ran into too. I jumped in the elevator and clicked my floor, waiting for the doors to close.

Once inside I shut the door, and let myself enjoy the peace and quiet. I never got this with a 4 year old running around. I cracked open a bottle of wine, and put on some music, while lighting some candles. I sat down with the wine in my hand and as soon as I got comfortable I heard a knock at my door.

Again, more and more anxious knocks.

"Jesus fuck, hold on a damn second!" I shouted scurrying to the door. When I opened it I was immediately engulfed into a hug.

"Nice to meet you too stranger guy I don't know." I said not hugging back. When he pulled away he chuckled, and I knew that chuckle anywhere. Alan.

"Alan?!" I shouted jumping onto his body.

"Hi to you too Phoen." He laughed.

He definitely grew up, and he looked good. Damn, did he look good. I smiled, and pulled myself off vof him. Realizing how ridiculous I probably looked right now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, excited.

"I should ask you the same thing." He laughed, walking into my apartment and plopping down on the couch.

"Um, I live here." I said nervously.

"Can I have the grand tour?" He asked.

"Show yourself around, I'm trying to relax." I said, leaning back on the couch. Closing my eyes.

"Um who's room is this?" He asked, slightly confused.

Fuck, I never told anyone about my baby. Not even Alan.

"Phoenix?" He questioned again.

I bit lip nervously, trying my best to avoid his question.

"Phoenix, c'mon. Tell me." He laughed.

"Alan, I have a daughter." I adverted his gaze, throughout my sentence.

"Who's..-" he trailed off.

"Austin." I saddened.

"What do you mean? You never told him about his own daughter!?" He yelled.

I sighed, feeling all the feelings of high school coming back to me once again. I hated this feeling, but now that Alan's here maybe he could help me cope with it somehow.

"I didn't want to ruin his dream, with my daughter." I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest. But, as of right now, and by the look on Alan's face I had definitely made the wrong decision on whether or not to tell them.

I should have, but I just couldn't.

Notes

Sequel to "You're My Favorite Addiction"

chapter 1

enjoy

^-^