The Drug In Me Was You

Another baby. Another baby. Another baby.



Those words just kept ringing through my mind. Over and over again. He said he wanted another baby, but yet were we even in a committed relationship? Were we? I didn't even know. Did he know? And I didn't?



I knew one thing, we needed to talk and now.



But, where did I begin? Where did I start with everything that had happened. He had to know I was still pissed about Skylar? And I mean the Gielle thing, well I saw that one coming. I mean after four years of being alone you would want to be with someone again. I mean I'm sure he slept around. Alan told me he drank himself into oblivion every night, so I'm sure he fucked randoms every once in a while. But, I can't be mad about any of that. I was just mad that he left and never once looked back.




"Hey Austin can we speak in the other room?" I questioned, as he threw his McDonald wrappers away.

"Yeah, anything in particular that were "speaking" about?" He laughed.

"Um yeah, I guess. Fallon, can you go wake up Alan? And see if he wants to play? Tell him mommy and daddy are talking." I smiled, as she scurried down the hallway to Alan's room.





I turned on my heel and began to make my way into the living room. Thinking about everything me and him have gone through in the past 5 years. How it all started. All the beautiful times we spent together, all the fights, the arguments, and lastly how it all ended.




"So what do we need to talk about?" Austin questioned, sitting down and clasping his hands together.

"Do you really want another baby?" I asked lowly, getting right to the point.

"Why are you asking me this?" He chuckled, why was this funny?

"Austin, it's a serious question... Can you act like an adult for once in your life? I mean for gods sakes you're 28 years old." I stated, becoming frustrated.

"Jesus, what's your ass? I don't know! Why does it matter?" He said getting defensive.

"Can you please just answer the question?" I said apologetically.

"You want me to be honest?" He stared me in the eyes, and I nodded,

"Yes, I do." He spoke, and I went wide eyed.




I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. How? Why? When? When did he want too? Why did he want too? How did he possibly want yet another kid?




"Are you going to say anything?" He asked, twiddling his fingers around.

"I'm sorry, I just don't understand how you could want another baby..." I said.

"What do you mean? I love you." He smiled.

"Yeah, you love me. But, are we even back together? What are we? I mean do you even see a future with me? What happened when you go back on tour? Am I supposed to stay here? Again. Be pregnant, have another kid. And raise that one on my own again? While you're touring, partying, and whatever else you do on tour. No. I'm not asking you to give up what you love. But, I'm asking you to please think this through." I said, confidently.

"Look, you can't put the blame on me for that. You can't say me leaving you and not helping with Fallon was my fault, because it wasn't. You, YOU Phoenix, never told me about her. If I would've known I would've delayed that tour. I wouldn't have gone, I would've stayed home with you. Continued my teaching job for a while and then after a year or so pursue everything." He said, and I felt guilty all over again.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't wanna stop you from doing that. I knew how much it mean to you. But, I can't do that again, at least not without you." I said, genuinely.

"You won't have too, I'll be every step of the way." He smiled.

"Another thing we need to talk about.. Skylar," I breathed out unamused.

"I knew that would come up, look. Phoenix. I was just so pissed off a Gielle. I knew she was cheating on me again. I mean I was finding boxer briefs that weren't mine at our house, used condoms in the trash, everything. So I went out to get some air, and ran into some girl at a coffee shop. She looked so familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then when you said Skylar it all came back. That's why I stormed out, I was so disgusted with myself. I couldn't even bare to look at you. You honestly looked more hurt that Gielle did." He shook his head.

"Well you're right. I was devestated, I never thought in a million years you would do something that low. I mean sure, now I know you didn't know. But, still. She knew the whole time it was you, the love of my life and she still went through with it." I scowled.

"Phoenix, if I would've known. I wouldn't have done it." He said, and I could hear the shame written in his voice.

"Another thing... Gielle. What's going on there?" I questioned.

"It's over, it's been over. Since the day we got divorced, but I missed the feeling of having someone always there. So I started seeing her again, but in all actuality I missed you. I just missed the fuck out of you." He grinned.

"So what are we?" I questioned nervously.

"You'll be mine, and I'll be yours?" He smiled.

"Okay Taylor Swift." I laughed.

"Seriously Austin." I smiled.

"Till the stars fall babe."

Notes

I'm so sorry guys. I feel horrible for not updating, I have just been so busy. School has been kicking my ass left and right.
But anyways, I'll be updating more and more now that it's almost over! Thank god!
Love you enjoy!
also!
please checkout my cover!
http://youtu.be/5r9zp11_9tI