Space enough to grow

We watched the BMTH set and when the guys came off stage Oli came over to us. "Hey mate, so this is why you missed the party last night, nah she's worth it" Oli said shaking Austin's hand, "hey! Yeah she is what's up?" Austin replied "well we're having another party tonight and you're invited this time so you have no excuse not to come" he said patting Austin's arm and smiling at me. "I'm not sure she should be on bed rest, the doctor said" Austin said "um I'm pretty sure I can decide for myself what I'm going to do tonight! Geez!" I cut in "see you really have no excuse this time mate" Oli chirped "alright, alright I give in but! No drinking or drugs okay?" Austin said looking down at me "yes dad! Let go get ready" I squealed pulling him away from Oli and towards the exit "slow down babe!" Austin smiled "well you need to shower cause you kind of smell and I need to look attractive and that takes time so move your bony arse!" I replied smiling "Hey! I was on stage and it gets hot up there! And you're always attractive you don't need to try" he replied as we got to the bus, "thanks" I said blushing, thank fuck it was dark so he couldn't see.

Austin hopped into the shower while I got my out fit together, I decided on this holographic two piece Sammi got me for Christmas and my royal blue pumps because it's not like I'm going to be dancing the night away so I might as well look pretty whilst I'm doing nothing. “Hey pretty lady, whatcha up to?” Tino asked as he walked in, “well while you guys were on stage I met Oliver Sykes and he invited me to the party their throwing and I’m just planning my outfit” I replied smiling “haha you’re such a cutie where’s Austin?” “Um in the shower I think shotties next by the way!” I said grinning “oh shit just got real!” Aaron yelled from the sofa. As soon as Austin opened the bathroom door I bolted past him and locked the door “hey! Not fair! I’m the drummer I sweat more than everyone else” Tino yelled through the door “it’s not my fault you’re a slow poke hahaha” I replied, I hopped into the shower, washed pretty quick but being careful not to fall again, I got out and did my makeup and got dressed, walked out and all the guys just looked at me as if I was a completely different person “What? I look stupid don’t I? I knew I should have just worn jeans fuck me, I’ll just change” “No” Austin said grabbing my arm gently “you look perfect” he said smiling and I started blushing “hey sweaty bitch the showers all yours” I said attempting to ignore my embarrassment, I know Austin just said that so the other guys could get ready, he didn’t mean it or did he? FUCK! Stop it Ashley you know he doesn’t like you, no one does, how could they your ugly and fat and stupid and a complete waste of space! The voices in my head started again, I put some music on to try to drown them out but it wasn’t working so I stepped outside and had a smoke, when I came back in everyone was ready “has anyone seen Alan?” I asked “yeah he said he’d meet us at the bring me bus” Phil replied “to get a head start on the beers, wouldn’t be surprised if we have to go on a liquor run when we get there” Aaron joked “so we ready?” Austin asked “HELL YEAH!” I yelled and the guys laughed “alright lets head off” Austin said whilst chuckling.

The guys walked a head while Austin stayed with me to make sure I didn’t fall over in my heels. We got to the bus and Oli was welcoming the guys, “hey love! Wow you look amazing!” he drunkenly slurred as he hugged me “oh thanks” I replied as I got on the bus, as I walked on all I could see was smoke and then I looked on the table and saw a bong and weed, I kept walking till I a saw Alan dancing on a pole and I had to look again “Holy shit! You work it babe!” I yelled, I felt hands on my waist and I jumped a little “it’s just me” Austin said noticing my unease, “shit, you scared me” I replied, he guided me to a table with Matt Nicholls, Matt Keen and Lee I almost cried meeting they guys who saved me. “Aye, this is the chick Alan was on about last night! She’s one tough bitch!” Matt N said drunkenly, I just smiled I am really tired of hearing about that night honestly I just want to forget the whole thing. The guys were just chatting about shit and I was getting anxious so I went outside for a smoke but I forgot my smokes ‘fuck!” I said, I’m such a fucking dumb arse I swear I have no idea why people care about me I’m completely useless, I walked onto the bus to find Alan sitting on the sofa “hey, what are you doing here?” I asked “oh hey, um I forgot my smokes what are you doing here?” he asked “same haha” I answered “I didn’t know you smoked” he said sounding confused “well we haven’t really had a proper conversation before so” said walking out of the bus “aren’t you coming?” I asked “oh yeah”. We both lit up and walked to the party in silence it was really awkward and I didn’t know what to say to break the tension and then we finished our cigarettes just as we reached the party, Alan went inside and I lit up another one, I smoke when I’m anxious and right now my anxiety was raging tonight. I went back inside and I saw Alan and Jordan attempting to drink each other under the table, I got back to Austin and the others and Austin pulled me onto his lap “hey where were you?” he asked “oh I just went out for a smoke sorry” “no need to apologize silly” he said laughing and hugging me “you two aye! I saw that one coming, mate good work she’s a keeper” Matt N said drunkenly “what? Us? No! We’re just friends” I said panicked “yeah dude we only met last night” Austin said “yeah yeah come back to me in a week’s time I bet you are together” Matt said, what is he on? Like seriously what the fuck is he thinking? Why would Austin ever want me? I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m stupid, and I’m worthless! No one in their right mind would want me ever! I started shaking Austin noticed and started rubbing circles on the small of my back “hey are you alright?” he whispered in my ear “yeah, I’m just a little tired is it cool if I head back and sleep?” I asked “of course it is, but I’m coming with you” he said smiling, he looks so beautiful when he smiles “no, you stay have fun I’m just going straight to bed any way” “Its fine! We can stay up and watch movies and eat chocolate! I know you want to!” he taunted

Notes

Again so sorry for how long it took to update i lost this chapter and had to rewrite it >.<<br> please enjoy!

Outfit - http://www.polyvore.com/tour_bus_party/set?id=118156060