Wounds of Regret

I lay sprawled out on the floor, blood slowly seeping through the cracks of my bathroom tiles. I smiled to myself as I looked down at my bare wrists and observed the grossly large amounts of blood leaving my body.

It felt as if a ten ton weight had been lifted off my chest as I slowly came to the realization that today was the day. The day I could finally die.

Making sure nothing could go wrong, I grabbed at the prescription bottle I'd placed there hours before. I silently thanked whatever gods there were out there that I did, because at this point I didn't think I could even move my body to get to the cabinet.

I had the entire bottle down in minutes, and my vision began to get hazier and hazier until I wasn't sure if I was even conscious anymore.

One would think in the moment if death you would feel afraid, but I felt nothing but peace. It felt better than anything I could remember in my entire life.

I smiled as I felt myself slipping, further and further and then

- nothing.

I woke up with a jolt, my body springing up from my mattress.

I came to my senses quickly, gluing my eyes on the all too familiar walls of my room in the psych ward. I sat there for a while in confusion from my dream, but eventually shook it off. There was no need to dwell on it.

I let out a breath of air I hadn't noticed I was keeping in, realizing how far I'd come.

There was some point in time during all this, I didn't know when, where I realized I really didn't want to die. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I didn't know exactly when things changed, but I found myself not being able to understand how willing I was to die all those months ago.

I'd finally learned how to enjoy things in life, and sometimes I felt maybe even.. happiness? I didn't know, but it kind of felt like it.

It dawned on me that today was the day I could finally go home. I couldn't have been more excited, I missed Austin so much.

Of course he kept his promise of visiting me weekly, but it was never the same. He could only visit for an hour and most of the time was spent with him filling me in on news from the real world. I longed to feel his arms around me again. But most of all I longed to finally be in a relationship with Austin.
I was finally at a place of mental stability, sure I still had my ups and downs but I considered myself healthy and happy.

I just hoped Austin would still want me.

I laid in bed for several hours, just staring at the wall until it was time for me to get ready to leave. I felt a burst of happiness, knowing I’d be seeing Austin in only minutes.

I’d packed all my things the night before, so all I could do was wait until the nurse came to discharge me. It didn't take long, considering all the nurses loved me. I was led up to the front desk to sign my release papers before I was finally free.

Smiling at the lady sitting the the front desk, I walked out the door I’d came in with Austin those months ago, my suitcase dragging behind me. I looked around the parking lot, my smile became even wider as I spotted Austin’s familiar lanky body.

He hadn’t seen me yet, due to the fact that he was pacing around his car nervously. I let out a laugh, moving to sneak up behind him.

“BOO!” I yelled, causing Austin to jump and whip around, almost falling over. I brought my hand to my face, trying to stop the fits of laughter running through me. At first he seemed confused, but when he saw me his face softened.

“Hi.” He breathed, pulling me into a tight hug. I felt my shoulder getting wet from his tears, but I chose not to say anything.

“Hey.” I said warmly, pulling him even closer.

We stood like that for several minutes until we figured we should start heading home. I couldn't stop looking at him. I’d missed this, just being able to admire how beautiful he was.

Once we finally made it home, Austin made no move to get out of the car. He stared straight ahead in thought, gripping the steering wheel. I wondered what he had on his mind, but I figured I should wait for him to talk first.

“I wasn’t planning on doing this now, but I don’t think I can wait anymore.” He said, placing both my hands in his.

I rubbed my thumb over his hands, waiting for him to continue.

He took a deep breath.

“Alan, will you be my boyfriend?” He let out his breath, looking away as if he was scared I would say no. I almost laughed at how cute he was.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask that?” I asked, grabbing his face and connecting our lips.

Just as the kiss was about to get heated, Austin pulled away.

“So is that a yes then?” He teased, a smirk evident on his face.

I swatted his arm and laughed, exiting the car.

Notes

Sorry this is so short I couldn't really think of anything else to write haha

Anyways, I'm going to start wrapping up this story it only has a few chapters left. I just wanted to say that you to everyone who comments and tells me that the like it, it really motivates me to write :)
Also I've started 2 new cashby's if you want to check them out :)