Alan:
My heart was in my throat and my stomach had dropped to the floor. I wasn't ready for this. I couldn't tell him, not yet. You don't have much of a choice now do you? I was going to throttle Phil if I didn't suddenly combust from embarrassment. I looked up to find his tired eyes looking at me, expecting an answer. My arm began to itch for something far sharper than my nails.

"Is everything ok, Alan? You look like you're about to hurl."

I felt like it, too. I simply shrugged, unsure of what to say.

Austin sighed and rolled out of his bunk. He put a his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "I know something's up. You're my best friend, dude, just talk to me."

I bit my lip. "Aus, when did you figure out you were gay?"

He looked a little taken aback by the question, but shrugged. "I think I'd figured it out before hand and was denying it, but I came out in sophomore year."

"How'd you know?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I was checking out the guys more than the girls. Sil caught me one time at lunch and wouldn't stop bothering me about it until I admitted that I thought I was gay." He chuckled. "She was thrilled; said she'd always wanted a sassy gay best friend."

"You're anything but sassy."

He scoffed. "Bitch, please, I could sass your ass into next year."

I laughed.

"Why do you ask?"

I swallowed. Now or never, yeah? "I, um, well, Sil thinks I'm gay," I muttered so quietly I'd barely heard.

"What was that?"

"ASHBY'S A FAG JUST LIKE YOU! KEEP UP CARLILE!" Sil yelled from her and Aaron's bunk. They've been in here the whole time?!

"JUST KISS AND BE ADORABLE TOGETHER ALREADY! AWKWARD DOESN'T LOOK GOOD ON ALAN!" Aaron added.

I very nearly went over to their bunk to kick the living shit out of the both of them, but suddenly Austin took a step back. My focus snapped to the movement to find his eyes wide with...terror? Was he really afraid of something right now? What could he possibly be afraid of?

I took a cautious step towards him. "Aus, you ok?"

He backed up again, shaking his head.

"Austin, what's wrong?"

He began to shake.

"Austin?"

I heard Silver curse as she jumped out of her bunk. "Aaron get him out of here!" She moved to Austin. "Aussie, come here. It's ok, it's just me." She gently took Austin's face in her hands. He flinched at the contact, panicked eyes flying to meet hers. After a moment he collapsed against her, burying his head in her shoulder. Silver held him, despite the height difference. "Shh, it's ok, honey. I'm right here." She held a hand over Austin's ear. "AARON! Get him out!"

Aaron scurried to where I was frozen in place. "Al, c'mon," he took my upper arm in his hand, but it was clear he had no idea what was going on either.

"S-Sil d-don't let him! Not a-aga-ain!" Austin stuttered.

She glared daggers at us and nodded her head towards the door. "Shh, it's ok, Aussie. I won't; you're ok."

Aaron led me out of the room after that. We sat on the couch in a confused silence for a while before I turned to him. "Do you have any idea what the fuck that was?"

He shook his head. "No clue. It's nothing like when Sil has her panic attacks so..." He simply shrugged.

I sighed. "What is up with everyone lately?"

He shrugged again. "You've got me."

Silver:
Austin was a mess in my arms. I held him tightly until he'd somewhat calmed down, then it was time for some tough love.

I held my best friend at arm's length. Frankly, he looked terrified, but that's what PTSD does to you. "Austin, get it together. He's not here. He's not coming back. You will never see him again. You need to calm down before you do damage to your heart, so man up!" I shook his shoulders sharply, just once, to get my point across. "You're in a tour bus literally across the country from home. None of them can get you. You're safe. Get that through your thick skull."

His bottom lip jutted out. "But what if-"

"No. It's done. Christ, Austin, we've been out of high school for longer than we were there! You. Are. Fine. Stop. Worrying."

He took a breath and nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He fidgeted for a moment or two before asking, "Do you think I should ask Alan out?"

I was more than surprised. The first and only time Austin ever asked a guy out was in junior year when rumors of the guy he was crushing on being gay began to spread. The two of them had a couple classes together and were friendly enough that it wasn't weird when Austin said hello and asked about some homework or a project or whatever, but when he actually asked the guy out, Rob had laughed in his face. Austin was already mortified, but to make matters worse the guy later beat the ever living shit out of him and blamed Austin for starting the rumor that Rob was gay. As if that wasn't bad enough, after completely shattering Austin's confidence, that douchbag came out in senior year, and all his friends that had laughed at my best friend for being gay welcomed this asshole with open arms or whatever. It still made my skin crawl to think about, but the trauma from the physical and mental abuse had stuck with Austin. He hadn't asked a guy out since. All his relationships had been started by the other person.

"Yes," he smiled, "but not yet." He frowned. "Let me explain," I chuckled, "Alan is still confused. Be his friend right now, help him through. You know how hard it is when you just start to question yourself. When Alan is more confident, then ask him, he will not laugh at you."

He grimaced at my comment. "Whatever." He wiped a hand down his face. "Fuck this, too much stress, not enough sleep. I'm going back to bed."

I laughed. "Sweet dreams, big guy."

He grunted at me.

I laughed. "If it's any consolation, you and Alan will make an adorable couple."

He jumped into his bunk, but not before I saw his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

Notes