Strength in Numbers

I smiled as I sat at the bar with my best friend.

"WOO FUCK YEAH!"

...My very loud best friend.

Austin slammed his hand down on the bar. "Jesus Silver, I don't know why we don't do this all the fucking time! I'm having a fucking ball!"

I leaned slightly over the bar to the bartender who was chuckling at Austin as he dried a glass. "He's done, cut him off."

"Aw Sil! C'mon!" he slurred.

"No problem," the bartender laughed taking away Austin's empty glass.

The 6' 2" giant next to me sighed over dramatically and melted backwards on the bar. "You're no fucking fun."

"What is with you and the word 'fuck' today?"

"IT IS A PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD WORD!"

I laughed. "Ok big guy, I better get you back to the bus before the guys find yet another reason to hate me."

"Ok look," Austin paused to very slowly take the step down out of the bar and onto the pavement, then hiccup, "no body hates you. So you fucked everyone? No biggie, girl! There's plenty of people," hiccup, "people like that."

I put my arm around a very drunk and stumbling Austin Carlile so that his gorgeous face did not hit the cement. "Yes, and they're called sluts." I shuddered as Alan's insult ran through my mind again. "Besides, I didn't just sleep around, I caused endless drama."

"Fuck that! Everyone's a moron."

"While that may be true, you're extremely drunk, so anything you say is disregarded."

"Well that may be," hiccup, "oh fuck it."

I rolled my eyes as we approached the bus. "Are you going to be able to get up the stairs?"

"I'm fiiiiiii-" he stumbled out of my reach and crashed into the side of the bus as I winced. "I'm not fine."

"So I see. Alright come here." I linked my arm back around him.

"You're the best, Sil. I love you." Hiccup.

I sighed. "This much alcohol can't be good for your heart."

"I'm fiiiii-" his breath caught a moment and my heart stopped, "ine. I'm fine. I'm so fine. Yeah."

I sighed. Eventually I got him up the stairs and into the darkened bus. "Huh they must've went to bed. Ok Aust, keep qui-"

"HEY DICKHEADS I-" I slammed my hand over his mouth.

"Would you SHUT UP!" I hissed.

He nodded and hiccuped again.

All of the sudden a sleep-drunk Aaron padded into the room scratching his shoulder. He stopped to squint at me and Austin - who beamed at him. Aaron turned to me smiling. "He's shitfaced. Good job, Silver. You carry his fat ass back here?"

"Hey!"

I shushed Austin before nodding to Aaron. "He took two steps and landed on the bus."

Aaron nodded. "So that's the thud I heard. Ok, his bunk is the first one on the right."

I took Austin to the back of the bus and let him collapse onto his bunk. I don't even think he'd landed on the bed before he was passed out. I managed to get his sneakers off and pull the curtain across his bunk without waking anyone up, for which I thanked the heavens. I walked out to see Aaron filling a glass at the sink.

"Thanks for making sure he got here ok," he handed me the water with a smile. I stood stunned until he chuckled and said, "He's a big dude, I'd imagine dragging him back here was tiring." It was.

"Thanks," I mumbled awkwardly, taking the glass. Wasn't he supposed to despise me for being the lowest of man kind or something?

He just chuckled again as he filled another glass for himself. "I don't have anything against you." He took a drink. "Sorry about Alan earlier by the way. I couldn't believe he did that, I was so embarrassed. I have no idea why he's been such a dick lately."

The water caught in my throat. I knew. It was my fault.

"You ok? You look like you're gonna hurl."

I nodded and swallowed hard to force the drink down. "Fine. Thanks for not hating me and everything, I should go." I placed the glass on the table and hurried to the door.

"Silver wait!" Aaron grabbed for my wrist, but I was already at a run out the door and across the lot.

I stopped at the fence and slid down to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest as the tears came.

Slut.

Whore.

I can't believe I just did that with you.

Why are you even here?

Why are you even alive?

I honestly didn't know.

Notes

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