With Me Tonight

Hazel's pov:

As soon as the light of day peeked through the windows, I was up. Well, actually, I was up a lot earlier before that since I barely slept, but I didn't physically get up until now. I spent all night tossing and turning, the thought of Austin burning in my mind. It was truly exhausting.

But I decided to get up and go for a run to not only explore this area of LA, but to also get my mind of things as much as I can.

I slide out from under the blankets, careful not to bump Alan who is snoring lightly into his pillow. I almost laugh at him, but do my best to hold it in so I don't make noise and wake him.

I tip toe over to my bag, digging out my running clothes and shoes. I quickly head over to the bathroom to do my business and change, dropping my dirty clothes back into my bag before grabbing my shoes and heading out, eyeing Austin's door as I pass.

I huff, retrieving my phone from my pocket and turning on some music, putting the earphones into my ears before lacing up my shoes. And with that, I was out the door.

I stretched a bit in the driveway, taking in the orange sun that was just starting to rise in the calm LA air. It truly was beautiful here, even during winter. Washington was always freezing and snowy and icy, so that got old, but I don't think I could ever get sick of this warm, calm weather.

Getting too antsy, I turned up the volume on my phone and took off down the driveway in a run, my body happy that I was working it out. It always seems to make me feel a little bit better, physically at least.

But mentally, that's a little bit different. Sure, exercising makes me feel more uplifted and keeps me from sinking into a dark place, but on days like today it doesn't do as much as I'd like. Because all I can think about is Austin and that pisses me off. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of always being in my head, even if he may never know. I don't think he deserves that.

But I don't think I can make it go away. And seeing him everyday for the next few months wont help. Not one damned bit.

I do my best to get lost in the song playing through my headphones as I run down the sidewalk, looking around at the unfamiliar area. It was very easy on the eyes and before I know it, I've ran miles.

I know this because the sun is now shining bright in the sky and my calves are burning. I take a moment to stop and stretch, pulling my phone out to shamelessly look on iMaps to figure out where I was. I almost cheered aloud when I realized I was going around a giant circle, so I really only have to go a mile further until I'm back. Thank God, I don't think I could have ran the 5k back to the house.

It didn't take me much longer to finish the last mile, and soon I was running back up the driveway. I didn't go inside right away, wanting to put that off for as long as I could by taking my time to stretch again. While doing this, I tried to relax myself and focus on my breathing because I know I'm gona be a big mess when I see Austin again. I can't avoid it, but I want to handle it as well as possible. And for that to happen I need to have my shit together.

Once my muscles were a little more relaxed along with my mental frame of mind, I paused my music and took out my earphones while heading back inside. I made sure not to make too much noise as I shut the door behind me, going into the kitchen. I noticed no one was up, which made me breathe out a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding.

I had no idea where anything was, so I prepared myself for the task of finding a glass before starting my search through every cupboard. And there is a lot.. The kitchen's big.

"Fuck yes," I breathe when I open the right cupboard, multiple glasses sitting on the shelves in front of me. I don't hesitate to grab one, moving to the sink and filling it quickly up with cold water so I can quench my undeniable thirst.

While gulping down the water, I hear my phone start to ring. I tug out the headphones, set my cup down, and answer it without even checking the caller idea. "Hello?"

"Hey, Hazel," it's Sammy. I relax and lean back against the counter. "Good to see you're up. The flight is at 10 so we should leave in like an hour, are you ready for us to come over? Adam is with us."

Adam is our tour manager that I feel blessed for having. Seriously, without him we'd be in a ditch or something, especially for this tour when we needed to have multiple hotels near the stages booked.

"Yeah, I'll go make sure everyones ready. I'll see you guys soon," I speak into the phone, letting my eyes wander around when I do. I look around the house, realizing that it is really nice inside, but then as I look further to the left, I stand up straight in surprise when I see a pair of eyes already on me. Standing at the end of the hallway across the kitchen was Austin.

My heart skips a beat before picking up speed from the shock. Even though I knew I had to see him sometime, I still was denying that in my head so to say I wasn't expecting to lock eyes with him right now was an understatement.

It is the first time I've seen him at all since summer. And the memories didn't do him justice.

But the emotions did, especially now as they all came flooding back up as I looked across the kitchen at him, straight into his big brown eyes. I lost myself in them for a moment, unable to get my head on straight from all the things going on inside, but when I saw Alan show up next to him I knew I had to get my shit together like I had planned. I had to be strong and show him how good I am, just like I had planned.

I brought the phone down from my ear, barely catching Sammy's goodbye through the speaker as I straightened my posture and started to cross the tense space between us. I took my eyes off Austin when all the sour thoughts lingered, now meeting Alan's eyes. "Morning, bub," he said when I got closer, throwing his arm around my shoulders like he always does.

"Morning, where's the shower?" I asked Alan specifically, trying to ignore the harsh thump in my chest and the eyes that were burning into me from the side.

Alan laughed and jabbed his thumb behind his shoulder, into the hallway. "Third door on the left."

I nod, "I'm gona go take one real quick since I'm sweating like a pig," I laughed as best as I could to make it try to seem like Austin's intense stare wasn't getting to me. "And I just talked to Sammy on the phone, they said they're on their way over."

"Kay, we'll get ready to leave when you're out of the shower. Sound good, Aust?" Alan looked to Austin now and not sure where to put my own eyes, I looked down at the ground, keeping myself together. This is no big deal.

I could barely catch Austin nodding out the corner of my eyes, but didn't dare to look up because I know he's still looking at me. I can feel it. But I do decide now would be a good time to leave, so I try my best to squeeze past the two, but end up failing when my shoulder hits Austin's.

I try my best to ignore it and keep walking, but soon I feel his soft, calloused hand reach out to grab onto my upper arm that brushed against him. His touch burned so much that my cheeks flamed red with blush, especially when I turned to look at him.

I was so close that I could feel his breath roll out of his mouth and see his chest rise and fall with each breath, while mine got stuck in my throat. I did my best not to take in his appearance, not wanting to even be seeing it right now because it's not good for me.

He takes so long to respond that I think about trying to walk away again, but then he speaks.

"Watch out," he growls, eyes squinting down at me with a harsh gaze.

I almost can't believe it, but feel myself spark with anger. I look at him through my even harsher glare, fist clenching while my stomach bubbles with rage that I've held down for so long. How dare he?

"Get out of my way," I hiss back, my voice venomous as I get closer into his face before pushing myself away from him, then shoving past his shoulder that was extruded into my path.
As I storm away, I instantly feel harsh anger and hurt from him, but then I start to feel pride that I was able to keep myself strong and get back at him.

But the thing is, I can feel the anger that I had been trying to push down, never go away. It was settling it's self inside of me, growing at the thought of Austin.

I can't believe that just happened.


Austin's pov (earlier):

The light stung my eyes. Shapes glimmering within the corners of the sun rays shot into the room. I hate the light. It is supposed to help me see, but it just makes my vision blurry with visions of her.
My eyes itched as I scribbled worlds of useless meanings on a blank sheet of paper, but I didn't blink. I couldn't blink. Her face was all I saw when I closed my eyes. God dammit.

I couldn't stand to see her face. It always started my chain reaction of self pity, anger, sadness, regret, grief, and a need that I can't control... The need to be with her again. And then it left me right where I am now; trying to turn my emotions into song meanings that I can scream to the world. But I always end up crumbling up the papers and throwing them onto the floor, knowing that she won't care... Knowing that they wouldn't make her smile... Knowing that words were falling short again.

It nearly crippled me how much I felt like I needed her arms around my hips, or her body tangled with mine, or her smile that seemed it could replace a light bulb, now that she was so close. My bed felt like a tomb without her in it, especially when I think about how she's been in Alan's.

But mostly, I feel like I'm being suffocated with the anger that has sprouted from regret and pain. I think of how quickly Hazel moved on, making up things in my head as I go, thinking that maybe she never loved me like I loved her. Maybe she was just using me like everybody said.

It's all just a downward spiral of emotion and I wish I could walk into the kitchen and grab some alcohol to try and tame my thoughts, but I can't. I already drank all of it.

Bloody hell, I'm being such a fucking idiot.

"Fuck this," I growl to myself, pushing my tired body up from the chair and storming out of the room. It was barely even morning yet, but I was still wide awake, even if my body was begging for sleep.

I'll sleep on the airplane.

I run my hand through my messy hair and will myself not to look back at the door behind me, even though I feel the pull to take a glance that way, just to see if it's open. But I don't. I don't want to see them all cuddled together because I might not be able to contain myself.

It's so fucked up. She shouldn't be in there with him, she should be here with me.. No. That was a lie. I'm lying to myself, right?

I shake my head and walk down the hallway, my destination being the kitchen, but then when I look over to it, my feet freeze and I skid to a stop.

Fuck.

There she is, standing there with a phone to her ear while she leans against the counter as she talks lightly into the phone.

I now remember why I dreaded seeing her so much, because as I look at her, I feel those hands wrap around my throat again, squeezing the life out of me. I knew before the emotions that I might feel, but I also knew that if I saw her, I'd have a hard time stopping myself from wanting to pull her into my arms and take her back.

And maybe if I wasn't frozen in shock, I wouldn't have been able to hold myself back from running to her.

But this time, I just stare. I don't even wonder why the hell she is up so early because I'm crazy enough to be up at this time too.

She doesn't notice me, just talks to whoever she is talking to on the phone. And I study her. Every feature and movement she makes that I know so well, but at the same time there are things that seem so foreign. She's different and I want to have her in my arms so I can become familiar with everything that has changed and that is new.

But at the same time I want to show her how fucking angry I am. I want to show her how that I was hurt too. That even though I'm the one who fucked up, I still had to live with not only all the pain, but also my guilt. And I ruined myself all over her while she was off forgetting about me and moving on. But not just moving on with anyone; moving on with Alan... My best friend.

I was so ridden in angry thoughts that I hadn't noticed my fists clenching so hard that my knuckles turned white, or in fact, the pair of eyes that were staring wide at me. The warning couldn't be sent to my brain in time before I looked up to meet them, my heart instantly falling out of it's pattern before it hopped back in line.

In all honesty, I never thought I'd see those eyes again. I never thought I'd see her again, I thought I screwed it up that bad. I thought that maybe it was just another relationship to add to the list. But all of those had been proven wrong.

Because she never was just another girl, was she?

A door opening behind me made my ears perk up, but I didn't move, knowing it was Alan and being too sucked into Hazel's eyes. I heard Alan's feet come up behind me and then he spoke. "Morning, dude. I didn't catch ya last night, so hey," he laughs, rubbing his eyes as he walks past me.

He stopped when he saw Hazel and then looked back to me, now fully aware of what was happening. He cleared his throat awkwardly, but then before he could do anything, Hazel surprised us both.

She ripped her eyes away from mine and took her phone away from her ear, leaving the kitchen to come over to us. My heart picked up speed as she got closer and I couldn't help but watch her every step of the way. But she didn't make eye contact with me once, in fact, it was like she was acting as if I wasn't even here.

"Morning, bub," Alan said as she came over, lifting an arm up to wrap around her shoulders for a weird hug. My eyes now looked between them both, only seeing red. Because I definitely wanted to wake up to see them all fucking together and shit. Right.

"Morning, where's the shower?" She asked him, pretending like I wasn't right fucking here. Alan chuckled and pointed behind him. "Third door on the left."

Hazel nodded, "I'm gona go take one real quick since I'm sweating like a pig," she laughed a laugh that hit me hard. But I now also noticed she must have been up this early to workout. "And I just talked to Sammy on the phone, they said they're on their way over."

"Kay, we'll get ready to leave when you're out of the shower. Sound good, Aust?" Alan looked to me to ask. I nod silently, looking down at Hazel who's head was bowed as she looked at her feet. While doing this, she took a step to move past us, but there wasn't much room so her shoulder brushed up against mine.

She cringed, trying to avoid the contact, but I wouldn't let it go. Instead, my hand reached out and grabbed onto her nearest arm before I could even process what I was doing. I had no idea why I did it or what I would even say, especially when Hazel turned and looked up at me, leaving my mouth dry.

"Watch out," I growled. Fuck. What the fuck, Austin? What are you thinking?

As a matter of fact, I don't know what I'm thinking at the moment, but since all my previous thoughts had been negative, it just came out. I wasn't even thinking! I don't know what I'm doing, dammit!

Realizing I fucked up, I let her arm slip from my grasp and watched as her face changed from the wide eyes she was looking up at me with to a hard, angry expression. An expression that couldn't be pulled off from a moment of anger.. It had to have been built up.

Knowing that it was too late to take it back, I just went with the harsh expression that came so easily to me.

"Get out of my way," her voice stings it's so venomous. I have never heard her like that, or that angry, but here she was... because of me. And since I was in the angry frame of mind, it made me angry. Even more so when she turned, literally shoving past my shoulder, making my torso recoil a bit.

I stare at her in anger-laced shock, but my look is nothing compared to the one that Alan is giving me. "Dude, what the fuck?" He asks, his voice an octave higher from the shock.

"Shut up, man," I shake my head, not wanting to get a lecture from the guy who was fucking my ex. I know I fucked up. I don't need to hear him say it.

I turned, starting to walk in the opposite direction of Hazel. I did feel a little bad for being rude to Alan, but again, it was too late to take it back. I head into the kitchen, eyeing the empty glass that was sitting on the counter before going to the cupboard to grab one for myself.

"What the hell is up with you?" Alan follows me, standing behind me as I let the palm of my hands rest on the counter top while my head bows down.

"Nothing," I mumble, my voice still harsh.

"You can't just do that, man," Alan goes on.

"Just let it go," I clench my jaw. I wish it never happened, but it did.

"Whatever," Alan scoffs and I can picture him shaking his head. "Have fun being a grump while the rest of us actually enjoy ourselves." With that he leaves, heading back to the hallway, probably going to find Hazel.

"Fuck," I slam my hand down against the counter, now fully angry at myself. I don't want to admit it, but Alan's right. I'm only making what's supposed to be a good time, a bad one. At least for myself. I can't let Hazel, or my own anger, get to me like that.

So this is me declaring, from here on out, I'm not going to be that grump. I'm going to have a good ass time, not fucking worrying about Hazel.

Here I fucking come, American Dream Tour.

Notes

arrhghggh I'm not liking this:( I totally understand if you guys think it's crumby too, but just know I'm trying. Sorry if this didn't live up to your expectations.

but both Austin and Hazel are angry? Their first confrontation? What will they do/ will happen?

Feel free to comment any ideas you have!! <3