With Me Tonight

A soft hum from the heater in the corner of the room buzzed in my ears, granting the loud silence awaiting me more strength. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as I stood up, knowing it was my turn as I bit at the pieces of skin that were raw from the bad habit.

All eyes were on me as I took the dreaded walk from the back of the room to the front, the sound of my feet shuffling on the ground being the only noise made on top of the heater. There is no getting used to this; no way that even doing it a thousand times could make it any different.

I was almost afraid that everyone could hear the sound of my heart thumping in my chest as loud as I could, but when I stepped up onto the small stage, none of them seemed to notice a thing. Not even the sweat that was forming in a light layer on my forehead.

I looked around at each face as I stood on the platform of a stage, knowing each and everyone of them had a unique story; as did I. Each of them came from a different background, a different life, and God knows what their journey has been like, but yet, they were all gathered here with me on this late morning.

It almost was as if they were my crowd, my fans cheering me on as I get ready to perform. But as much as I wish that was the case, it's far from it. Even though I'm standing on a stage in front of them with a microphone pointed at my mouth, it gives me no rush like performing does. None of them look excited, their faces too sad and gloomy to represent someone's that may be at a concert.

But similar as the kids at the concert, they look at me expectantly, waiting for me to open my mouth. Which I do, after I swallow the nerves down harshly and clear my throat. "Hi," is the first thing that slips out. It's routine.

They all say hi back, creating one big, loud noise as the word that leaves their mouthes combine. I force a smile their way and start playing with the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt as I rest my hands on the podium, preparing for what I have to say next.
As many times as I've said it, it still is one of the hardest things I have had to force myself to say aloud to this crowd of strangers. But I can't back down. I won't.

"My name is Hazel Hendrix... and I'm an alcoholic."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& WITH ME TONIGHT &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"I'm home!" I call out, kicking the door shut behind me as I lug the heavy bags I have in my hands through the doorway.

"How was it?" Syd's head pops out from behind the kitchen wall, peeking into the hallway at me.

"Same," I shrug. "But I'm so fucking glad it's over with," I smile, sighing in relief as I walk into the kitchen, dumping all the grocery bags onto the counter to get put away. My stomach growled, it truly being the one that was glad I was done with my meeting. It had been making noises the whole time.

"Did you eat any breakfast?" Syd asks as she comes over to help me start un-bagging all the food I stopped to get from the farmers market. I used to just go to the grocery store, but ever since things started to fall back into place around here, we decided to take up a more healthier lifestyle. My therapist recommended it.

"Nah," I shrug, focusing on taking everything out of the pesky bags.

She shakes her head as she puts the lettuce in the fridge, shutting the door before she turned to look back at me. "Most important meal of the day..." She reminds me, teasing.

I roll my eyes at her as I grab a handful of stuff to start putting away in the cupboards.

"So, Hazel..." Sydney starts. "I think we should go out and celebrate today."

"What?" I cock my head backwards to look at her, but shift my gaze back to the shelf when I notice her backs to me. "Celebrate?"

"Yeah. I think you deserve it."

I shut the cabinet door I was at and rejoin her at the counter. "Why?"

"Why? Are you really asking me why right now, Hazel?" She gives me a look and I put my hands up in the air, surrendering from the daggers her eyes shoot at me. "You've been working so hard. Like, what's it been? Two months of rehab? And then two, three more of these meetings? Not to mention how healthy you're being. Like, I'm not even exercising and I've lost weight from all this healthy food you're shoving down our throats. Not that I'm complaining... It's nice."

"It is nice," I agree as I look at all the fruit I un-bag. I'm not sure where my healthy kick ever came from, but ever since I've started, I've felt a lot better. It helped me physically, but also mentally. When my brain would normally beg to shut down, being healthy gave me more energy to prevent it from doing so. And not only is it good for me, but it helps Syd with her depression and my dad, kind of, with his health. "But I don't think celebration is necessary. This is something I had to do. Or else I would have killed myself," I sigh. "Or maybe someone else."

"Don't talk like that, Hazel," Syd frowns, but she knows it's the truth. I was out of control. "You've come so far and worked so hard, it definitely is celebration worthy," she states, her gaze on me as she waits expectantly for me to respond. But I don't, just shrug. "Hazel, come on," she whines, upset that I'm giving myself a hard time and won't give into her.

I look up to meet her eyes that were big and innocent, begging me to give in. I squinted mine back at her, trying to hold my ground, but honestly, that's impossible to do with her. She knows it too. "Fine," I sigh, watching as a wide smile spreads across her face and then jumps up to run and crush me in a hug.

"Yes! Celebration!" She cheers. "As soon as Daddy wakes up we are doing something fun and you will like it," she states, pointing sternly at me as she does.

I put my hands up in the air and nod. "Alright, alright."

She shakes her head while laughing, making me roll my eyes. She's a piece of work, but I love her and without her, I don't know where I'd be right now. She doesn't know it, but she's been my motivation this whole time. Well, at least most of it.

"Go get cleaned up, I'll finish the rest of this," Syd says and seeing that there isn't too much more to do, I nod, setting what was in my hands down.

"Thanks, bub," I tease her with the silly nickname I made up, getting her to flip me off right before I left the kitchen, chuckling a bit.

I grabbed onto the railing of the stairs, spinning myself around so I could run up the stairs. I had a skip in my step as I went down the hall, heading to my room. I felt good today.

I made sure to be quiet so I didn't wake up my dad when I got to my room, my door squeaking a little bit when I pushed it open.
I slid off my tennis shoes and kicked them to the side before I went any further, starting to grab a clean change of clothes. Not much has changed in my room, but I did redo the area around my bed and added a few more shelves in my closet so things were more suitable for me.

After grabbing everything I needed, I head towards the bathroom, locking the door behind me and immediately starting to strip off my clothes. It was still the middle of winter, but the sun was out and bright today so it seemed a little warmer than usual. With this in mind, I turned on the shower to a temperature that was not so hot, and hopped in.

I sighed out as I did, the water relaxing me completely as it cascaded down my body. Showers are the only place now a days where I feel at ease and able to actually think. Sometimes the thoughts aren't so great, a little discouraging even, if it was a bad day, but right now.. everything was good.

Sydney wanting to celebrate me actually kind of made me feel good. Even though I don't think it's necessary, I'm proud of myself to know that I've gotten this far. I've worked my ass off and at the beginning, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Everyday is hard, really, but I pushed through it. I still do. And I'm a new, better person because of it.

I didn't rely on anybody else to get my life back together. I saved myself. I survived.

And if that's not something to be proud of then I don't know what is.

I started humming a song as I reached to grab the shampoo, beginning to wash my hair.
The rest of my shower went fairly fast like they always do when they are in the morning because I don't want to miss something that Syd and my dad may need help with. I was always busy now a days because on top of getting myself better, I've taken up the responsibility to take care of Syd and my Dad. I'm just trying to makeup for all the time I've missed, and plus, now that my mom is gone again, they need a responsible woman figure here. Don't get me wrong, Syd is way more responsible than anyone else I know her age, but that's the problem. She needs to live a little. This is the prime time of her life.

Satisfied with how I'm letting her live, I jumped out of the shower and quickly dried off. I grabbed the brush sitting on the sink's counter, barely brushing through my hair before I slid on my clean clothes, throwing the dirty ones in the hamper.

Leaving the steamy bathroom was nice, breathing in cool air as I head back downstairs to the kitchen.

When I got there, I saw my dad sitting at the table, eating a bowl of Cherrios. "Morning," I say as I go over to the fridge to pour myself some orange juice.

"Morning," my dad responds with a mouthful, giving me a dorky smile. I smiled back, but it wasn't as convincing as I would have liked it to be when I saw the dark bags under his eyes. He woke up in the middle of the night last night again, freaking out about the voices.

It's been like this almost every night lately. He's been getting worse and worse and we all know it, but still try to avoid the subject. It's too devastating to think about.

"That was quick," Syd says, referring to my shower. I just shrug, finishing my glass of juice and moving to rinse it out in the sink. "So I was thinking," Syd starts up again. "To celebrate Hazel's hard work, we could all go out for lunch today? Maaaybe at Ram's Horn?" Syd looks over and smiles at me, which I return. We used to go to Ram's Horn all the time as kids, and now it's our favorite place to go to again. And the best part is, they will serve your food to you in paper cars. It's awesome.

"Sounds good," I chuckle, making Syd smile. "I'm starving."

"Awesome," Syd grins.

Since we just ate breakfast, we decided to wait a little before we went out. To pass the time, Syd ran up stairs to her room and I bet you 100 bucks that she's playing on the computer I got her for Christmas. I almost want to say I regret getting that for her because she is cooped up in her room a lot more now so I don't seem to see her as much, but I think it's totally worth how happy it made her. It's almost like she's becoming a normal teenager now with a somewhat normal life. And that's all I want.

With a laundry basket attached at my hip, I walk down to the laundry room, passing my Dad's office as I do. I peak my head in to see what he's doing, noticing that he was just hunched over at his desk, scribbling away at the paper laid out in front of him.
This is all he does anymore and he's not drawing his beautiful pieces of art like he used to. No, he's just scribbling things onto paper that must reflect what's going on his head.

I sigh, starting to walk to the laundry room as I remind myself to call the hospital and have them up his dosage of meds that are supposed to help.

I set the laundry basket down on the washer, letting my arms rest on it while my head bows down. I close my eyes, getting hit by a wave of exhaustion.
I'm always exhausted. The responsibility I have picked up may help me become a stronger person, but damn, I don't get a break. I can't allow myself to have a break. Not again.

Thinking this, I stand back up straight and force myself into a better posture as I start to go through the load of laundry. But before doing this, I grab my headphones and put them in my ears, letting the music pump through me as I do the chore.

It isn't until I'm through the whole load, starting another, that Syd is waving her hands in front of my face to get my attention.

I stop what I'm doing, tugging the headphones out of my ears as I look over to her. "Ready to go?" She asks, a smile playing at her lips.

"Yep," I pop my 'p', happy to be done with the laundry. I have to do it for my dad and Syd says I don't have to do hers, but I don't want her to worry about it sometimes. So with that on top of mine, it's a lot. And it's boring.

Syd is bouncing on the toes of her feet, happy as she leads me back out to the hallway where my dad is already waiting by the door with a small smirk. It makes me feel good when they feel good. Today is a good day.

I grab the keys that are hanging by the door and slide on a pair of shoes before we all head out. My Dad and Syd race to see who can get to the passenger seat first, Syd cheering when she wins and my Dad chuckling at her before he slides into the back seat. I laugh lowly and shake my head at them before I get into the drivers seat at the same time Syd gets into the other side.

When I start up the car Syd immediately starts playing with the radio. It takes her a while to find a good channel, and by the time I'm already driving down the street, she finds one that is playing Mr. Brightside by the Killers.

We both look at each other with a knowing look and with out a word start singing along as we drive. I even notice my dad getting into it, playing the imaginary drums on the back of Syd's seat, making her laugh.

And as I look at the two, I smile to myself a real, genuine smile. It took me so long to find that smile again after everything that happened, but I did. I turned my life around and got the two people I love the most to be in it, happy that they were. And even though I feel like I lost a part of my happiness when the summer ended, and as much as it saddened me, there was a little part inside me that was glad everything did happen.

Because in every end, there is also a beginning

Notes

And here it is! The sequel! (If you haven't read One Moment, I highly recommend you do!)

I'm so excited to start this story and I really hope you guys like it as much, even more, as you did One Moment!

For this sequel, I didn't want to do a giant time skip or anything, just enough for Hazel to have gotten 'better'. It's really only been four months, which makes it basically late December/January right now.

What do you think of the 'new Hazel?' She thinks she has to take on all the responsibility for having left her family for such a long time? She's gotten better? "Saved herself?" Went to rehab for a little? Whaaaaa?

I promise everything will be explained in chapters to come and I will fill you in on what's been going on with everybody soon!:)

(And I'm not sure if all of you know what Ram's Horn is, but it's basically just a restaurant that I used to go to all the time as a kid and yes, they do serve you food in cars that are really cool. And yes, that is mostly for just kids, but shh(;)

Let me know what you think! <3 Enjoy!