Forgive Me- Part 2

Amelia’s POV

He’s leaving. He’s leaving and I’m fucking stuck at work. I glance at the clock on the wall in my office and find its 4:20, the guys show started at 4:00... They’re playing right now and the second their show is over they’re leaving. I don’t even get to see him before he leaves. I think that make this so much harder for me. If I had just been able to see him before they left San Diego this might have been a lot easier to bear. Right now, knowing that he’s still so close and that right now I could be with him is killing me. Why did I have to work today? Why didn’t I just take the day off to say goodbye? I’m sure my clients and colleagues would have understood. Actually they probably would have preferred it.

By the end of the day I feel as though the other people who work in our offices were happy that I was leaving. I had snapped at several people today despite how much that goes against my nature. Luckily for me they all knew why I was upset. They knew that the person I was with had to leave for a while but none of them knew who he was, why or where he was going or how long it was for. But at least they were tolerant with me today... I honestly feel sorry for all the clients that I’ve seen today because I’ve been in a foul mood ever since I had to say goodbye this morning. Knowing that he’s so close but I can’t go say a proper goodbye is killing me and tonight I have to go home to an empty house, sleep alone in our bed and have to try and hold myself together while he’s gone. I drive home slowly, probably pissing off pliantly of other drivers on my way; constantly stalling, not wanting to get to the house and having to face the fact that Jaime wasn’t here anymore; that I would have to spend the night alone.

Simba heard my car pull into the drive way because I could hear him barking the second I opened the car door. I smile slightly, glad that I wouldn’t be completely alone; I unlock the front door and the second the door was opened Simba sniffed quickly checking that I wasn’t an intruder but the second he caught my scent and then saw me he went berserk. He started jumping up on me, begging for cuddles and barking like mad. It was his first time being alone so he was probably lonely, completely understandable.

“Shh, Simba be quiet.” I said as I knelt down to cuddle him “Yes, I’m home honey, it’s okay. Daddy’s gone away for a while though so you’re stuck with me for a few months until he gets back”

Simba barked again softly and I would bet anything that he knew exactly what I was saying or maybe he could just hear the sadness in my voice. God knows I wasn’t hiding it very well.

Once he calmed down I walked around the house turning lights on and when I reached the kitchen I was shocked. On the bench was a massive bouquet of blue and purple Japanese Orchids, my favourite… I walk over and look closely at them. I had always loved them, not for their smell but for the amazing way the colours, the blue and the purple blended on the flower, it was the exact thing I had always wanted to but never quite been able to recreate in my art. Once I tore my attention away from the flowers I noticed that there were also several blocks of different kinds of my favourite types of chocolates and a stack of Disney movies aka, everything I need when I’m sad, was laid out neatly next to a note reading:

Milly,

You better take care of yourself! Just because I’m away doesn’t mean I won’t know when you’re not.
You’d better not let Simba sleep in my spot while I’m not here! J
I Love You,

Jaime

P.S. I won’t be able to call you tonight but I promise I’ll call to check in tomorrow.

I smile broadly at the note, trying not to let the fact that I won’t hear from him today hurt me. I think about everything he got me. It was everything that I have when I’m upset… Bloody Jaime, he must have known how upset I was this morning. I pick up the flowers and put them in a vase of water before grabbing two of the chocolate blocks and putting the rest into the fridge for a later breakdown. I retreat into the lounge where Jaime had already laid a blanket out for me and after I put in Tangled, I snuggle into the couch with Simba. I immediately tucked into the first of the chocolates under the watchful eye of Simba, constantly checking to see in he is allowed some; which of course he was not. I was feeling a little better after copious amounts of Disney and chocolate but I still can’t take my mind away from the struggle in my mind.

I really do love Jaime, and I will really miss him but I have done this before. We lasted six months last time and even though I feel like a different person, even though I am in a different place, I feel as though I can still do this. Plus, I promised him that I would take care of myself so now I really don’t have a choice in the matter. Besides, I’m good being on my own, up until a few months ago I actually preferred it. All I have to do is get back into the right mind set and I’ll be fine; absolutely perfect. I won’t even miss him at all!

Who the hell am I kidding? I think as I crawl into our bed, Simba sneaking in behind me. It’s going to be hell here without him. I roll over to his side of the bed and bury my face in his pillow, breathing in his scent, taking comfort in it and pretending that he was right here with me. I already miss you Jaime…

Notes

So Jaime's finally left for tour... How do you think Amelia will deal without having him around?

let me know!

xox