Like Loving A Lion (SEQUEL to I'm Not That Perfect)

Two years can bring a lot of change. A hell of a lot of change. For instance, you can ditch your would-be baby daddy after you lose your child and realize he’s dragging you down and cheated on you, and also start a badass pop punk band. But that’s just an example.
I always found it incredible how you could miss someone you never knew. Me and my little boy never met but I loved him more than anything in the world. His father never knew that love, and for that I pitied him.
When I found out Austin was with another woman whilst I was delivering our demised fetus, I didn’t hesitate to leave him. Two years and we hadn’t spoken once. We were supposed to have a life together but it fell apart as soon as the doctor told us about our baby boy. I knew what he was up to; partying like a maniac, still with his band, pretending to be completely happy. I also knew the truth.
As for me. . . I’d decided to grow from the tragedy I went through. Austin could talk about losing his son all he wanted, but who was the one who went into labor knowing her child was already lost from her? I went back home to Venice for a while, depressed out of my mind from losing both Austin and my baby. Then I came back home to Los Angeles and started a band with some of my old college friends. The Cherry Bombs had taken off quickly and we were considered one of the most popular pop punk bands of our time even after being together for a short while.
I’d changed. Most definitely I’d changed, but for the better.
**
“On a scale from one to ten, how excited are you to play Warped?” Matt asked us all on our tour bus. We were indeed on our way to play the summer’s Warped Tour and we were all pumped. Matt did backup vocals and guitar in the band.
“Twelve.” I replied. “I’m going to have to go with a hard twelve.”
“Same.” Darren, our drummer, nodded.
“Are we almost there?” I whined.
“You’re an idiot, Avery. We’ve been here for like an hour.” Nate rolled his eyes.
“Fuck you, Nathaniel.” I replied. “I wonder if Ronnie’s here yet.”
Ronnie Radke had heard, as apparently everyone had, about my baby and called me a little while after to apologize for being an asshole. We’d actually become close friends after a while.
He was. I left our bus, which was parked at the first show in Pomona, and walked a short distance to his.
“Hey, guys.” I said to the other members of Falling in Reverse, “Where’s the loser that sings for you?”
“Back room. Skyping Willow.” One replied.
“That’s cool, baby. I’ll be in town soon and I’ll come see you, alright?” He was saying. I swallowed a lump in my throat when I saw his young daughter on the screen of his laptop. Ever since my little one left me, I’d been way sensitive to babies. “Wave to Avery!” He said.
I’d met her several times and she was an angel. “Hi, baby girl.”
Ronnie hung up and turned to me. “Look who it is.”
“Hello, Ron.” I grinned. “How are you?”
“I’m feeling pretty kick-ass today. You’re in a good mood.” He raised his eyebrows.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked curiously.
“Jesus, you didn’t hear? They added Of Mice & Men to the show a couple of days ago.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed.
“You have to see him sometime, Ave.” Ronnie shrugged.
“Fuck you, Ron. Let’s go see who else is here, yeah?” I asked. We left his bus to walk around the venue and see the bands.
“You really haven’t talked to him?” He asked.
“Not once. He’s been out partying, always with his friends and not his band. I’ve talked to Alan a couple of times and he says Austin is fine. Just fine.” I sighed.
“Tell me the story again.” He commanded.
“Do I have to? I really don’t feel like reliving that night.”
“Please?” He asked.
“We found out that we lost the baby and I went into labor the next day. I stayed at the hospital that night and he went home. He was supposed to show up whenever I had the baby but he didn’t. Alan drove me home and I got there and Austin was kissing some girl. He was drunk off his ass and hadn’t even realized he’d missed it.” I recounted.
“There’s his bus.” Ronnie said, squinting through the sunlight.
“Ron, don’t point!” I smacked his hand down. “Aw, there’s Pierce the Veil’s bus. I’ll catch you later, kay?” I ran over to their bus and walked right in. “Hola!”
“Jesus! I can’t believe it! Guys, come look who’s here!” Vic said, very surprised to see me.
“Hi, Vicky.” I smiled, hugging him. “I’ve missed you.”
“Is that Avery? Damn, you look different.” Jaime said.
“In a good way, I hope. Where’s Mikey?” I asked.
“Avery Marie!” Mike called, walking in with Tony. “You’ve been AWOL but you got hotter, so I guess it’s okay.”
“You haven’t changed a bit. Hello to you too, Mr Perry.” I grinned.
“Why is everyone in here yelling? Oh. Holy shit! It’s you!” Alan Ashby said,, coming onto the bus.
“Did you guys not know I was going to be here or something? You all seem really surprised.” I bit my lip.
“Of course we did. It’s just that none of us have seen you in forever so it’s crazy.” Vic shrugged.
“Alan?” A familiar voice called from outside. “Alan? Where the hell did you go?” Everyone looked at me and I panicked, freezing. “Have you guys seen- Oh. Oh, there you are.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. He was standing five feet away from me and I was staring anywhere but him.
“And I found him.” Austin said robotically. “I was looking for Alan and here he is! Found him. Now I have to go because Aaron needs me.” He left and I was left with a feeling of anguish for some reason I could not pinpoint.

Notes

there ya go. It'll get better, I promise. thank you so much for reading.
LINK TO I'M NOT THAT PERFECT