Come Waste Away With Me

*Flashback*

“Where’s my favorite valentine?” Austin knocked on the door to my room. I didn’t know he would be home today. I pulled a sweatshirt over my head just as he opened the door. “Are you not excited to see me?”
My surprised look turned into a grin. “Of course I am.”
I noticed he was holding a bouquet of flowers. “Ah yes, these are for you.”
I tossed them on my bed not trying to be rude but all I cared about was that my brother was home and safe. I wrapped my arms around his torso to make sure this is all real. “I missed you.”
“I guess I shouldn’t have got you the flowers.” He joked and I smacked his arm. “Alright, I missed you too.”
“You aren’t staying.” I stated.
“I have a wife you know.” I glared as he said the word wife.
“Oh, right.” I rolled my eyes as I pulled away. “You don’t want to keep the Mrs. waiting. Have fun.” I returned to my bed pulling my laptop onto my lap staring at the screen.
“Don’t be like that.” He sighed.
“I’m just surprised you came here first considering all you want to do is be with her. I never see you anymore, you fly home to see her. I should get used to it now. Thanks for the flowers.” I frowned opening my iTunes.
“That is not true and you know it.”
“Austin, name one time in the past year that you have been here for more than an hour; not including the times she was here also.” I searched for a song to begin blasting to tell him the conversation is over.
“I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around your little world.” He is frustrated.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Then what is it?” He crossed his arms.
“I don’t like her, she’s not good for you.” I shook my head. “You aren’t the same person anymore. You changed and not in a good way. I don’t even want to call you my brother anymore.”
“Ariana,” I pressed a random Blink-182 song; the room was filled with blasting music instantly. I picked up the flowers and threw them across the room. They hit the wall and fell to the floor. Austin’s mouth opened slightly, shocked.
“I already lost mom and I’m going to lose you but you don’t seem to care.” It was silent except for the music blaring. He just stood there staring at me and I stared at him breathing heavily with anger. “Leave. Just go, I don’t want you here anymore.” He left without another word which made me think did he even want to be here? Probably not, now that he has her no one else matters.
It’s Valentine’s Day. The worst day of the year. Every time the day comes around I remember that horrible fight I had with Austin. She really did ruin everything for him. The old Austin has returned though ever since she broke his heart. But I knew that day would come. It almost feels like he isn’t even real anymore. He’s just part of my memory. I have not spoken to him in months. I miss my brother but now I’m just numb to all the pain. Everyday has been the same; I wake up, cook, clean, cook, and go to sleep. I barely ever go outside because he doesn’t let me. Mason hasn’t got bored of me yet. I was hoping he would but he is still enjoying himself day after day. My life is hell.
Kylie comes around once in a while but recently she has not been here or spoken to me. Maybe I did something wrong. I wouldn’t be surprise. I always mess everything up.
I finished the final curl with my hair. I was getting ready for my date with Mason. He got a reservation at a fancy restaurant. He made clear instructions: wear black and red accessories. Oh and of course the unspoken rule: hide all the bruises. Of course I am now a master at hiding them and looking happy. The one thing I could not bring forward was the light in my eyes. They are just dull brown. I began to spread the foundation on my face to create the illusion of looking pretty. I put on heavy black eyeliner and red lipstick to complete the look. I honestly don’t recognize the girl I’m looking at anymore. I lost her a long time ago.
I pulled a long-sleeved black dress on over my body. It should be tight on me but it hangs loosely at my sides showing me how much weight I had actually lost. I’m disgusted to look at my reflection. I put on a red flower necklace to help hide my clearly visible collarbones. I didn’t even try to look at myself anymore. I sighed and walked out of the bathroom and slipped on my heels. I picked up my small purse and walked down the stairs. He should be here at any moment.
I heard the door open and slam shut. “Babe, are you ready?”
I cringed but regained composure. “Yes, I am ready.”
“Perfect, let me go change and we will be on our way.” He kissed my lips before walking up the stairs. A few moments later he came back down. “Let’s go.”
I followed him with my head down to the car. It was only a few minute drive to the restaurant. “How was your day?”
“It was good.” He smiled slightly and I knew what happened. “So I was thinking about something.”
“Am I allowed to ask what?” I asked quietly.
“I think I’m going to get your photography job back.”
“Really?” I asked hopefully.
“I don’t want you cooped up in the house all day you know.” He answered.
“Thank you.” I smiled a little.
“It’s my gift to you for Valentine’s Day.” I sat up and kissed his cheek. “As you know I am leaving early tomorrow.”
“I know.”
“I will miss you.” He glanced at me.
“I’ll miss you too.” I tried to smile. He pulled into the parking lot and gave some guy our keys to have our car parked. Another guy opened the door for me and held out his hand. “Miss.”
“Thank you.” I took his hand and he helped me out of the car. As I let go of the man’s hand Mason grabbed my hand glaring. “I’m sorry.”
“You are mine.” He growled.
“I know I am.” I squeezed his hand. “Let this be a nice night.”
“Of course.” We were seated at our table quickly.
“Hello, can I start you off with something to drink?” A girl around my age came up to us and asked.
“Can I have a beer?” Very classy Mason.
“Of course and you miss?” She smiled at Mason then looked at me.
“Red wine please.” She nodded and gave Mason another glance.
She walked away and I picked up the menu to look at it. “She was pretty.”
“Yea, she was hot.” He smirked.
Soon enough she was back. I watched her jump as Mason’s hand placed itself on her butt. I was used to this by now and I didn’t really care anyway. Mason gave her his order and also told her something else that made her blush. I just ordered a salad; I’m never really hungry anymore. I averted my eyes from there conversation. I wonder if she knows him or if she’s really just that desperate.
I was looking around at all the happy looking couples and then began wondering if they are just like me or if they are actually happy. As my eyes skimmed the crowd they stopped when they saw a familiar face and the ever so familiar ginger hair. He was laughing and smiling sitting across from a blond headed girl. I watched him for a really long time. He looked so happy. I saw her body shake with laughter as he explained a story and then he would join her with laughing. It pained me to see their hands interlocked on top of the table. I eased into conversation with Mason but I couldn’t help myself from glancing in Alan’s smile. I don’t even remember what it felt like to truly smile like he is know.
I decided this would be my last glance at my old life but Alan’s eyes locked with mine. In that moment as I am looking into his eyes I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was an emotion that I had almost forgotten about. Happy. His mouth dropped slightly but he looked back at his date. He looked so good with his hair slicked back and a fancy black shirt sat across his chest. I excused myself to the bathroom, I couldn’t take this anymore. I leaned against the wall just next to the bathroom. I couldn’t find the motivation to go inside.
“Ariana is that you?” His voice made butterflies appear in my stomach.
“It is Alan.” I couldn’t look at him. “She’s pretty.”
“Who’s that guy you are with?” He asked.
“You have no right to ask me that.” I shook my head. “I should go back.”
“Wait,” He took a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I was hoping you would get up to go to the bathroom since you walked in here.”
I took it and shoved it in my purse. “Alan..”
“I’ll see you around.” He smiled and walked into the bathroom.
I pulled out the piece of paper and read it.
Meet me at the Mondrian Hotel tomorrow night at 8 room 1456.
I placed it back in my purse and let out a breath of air and returned to the table and did not give the note another thought.

Notes

Ari's outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=141054429

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