Come Waste Away With Me

Most of the people I met today were so sweet. All of them were happy to be here some you could tell that most other days they were not. But here you didn’t have to be ashamed of who you are. People understand you. I handed my last customer their shirt and change before I said my goodbyes and rushed over to the stage my brother was performing on. I showed the guard my VIP and he let me through without a hassle.
I ran up to my brother and hugged him from behind. “Aribear!” He turned around and hugged me normally. “Take a picture with me for Instagram.”
I nodded and stuck my tongue out and he did the same. I read the comment he put under it. austincarlile- hanging out with my little sis before we go out on stage @aricariebear #sillyfaces #lovethisgirl #butshesweird
I smacked his arm for the hash tags but I laughed anyway. I went on my Instagram and liked it.
It was 3:45 now. They go on in fifteen minutes. “You excited to perform?”
“Yes! Oh my god I have been waiting for this forever!” He was excited.
“You just came back from touring.” I laughed.
“Well I still missed it!” He stuck his tongue out at me.
“After you perform I need to talk to you.” I smiled even though it was nothing good I needed to say.
“You okay?” I nodded and he smiled. But I wasn’t okay Austin.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” I began to get nervous.
“Will you sing Second and Sebring with me?” He gave me the puppy dog eyes.
“I can’t sing.”
“Don’t give me that crap.” He crossed his arms. “Please, I have always wanted to sing with you. Especially this song.”
“I don’t know.” I looked down I looked at the ground.
“Come on Aricarie! We all want you too.” Tino walked up.
“Yea come on Ari.” Phil smiled.
“What about Aaron?” I asked.
“Stop making up excuses. I want you to sing it!” Aaron joined in.
“Okay I will do it.” I was so nervous. They couldn’t have given me more notice?
They all cheered. “This will be amazing Ari.” Austin gathered me into a hug. I sure hope so. I glanced at Alan and my heart ached. Why did he have to say those words? “Alan did you hear? Ari is singing with us.” Austin ran over to him.
Alan half smiled while looking at me. I sent him a glare. I was not going to forgive him not after that.
“Five minutes!” A guy called.
“Ariana, can I talk to you?” I didn’t realize Alan walked over.
“What do you want?” I snapped.
“I guess I deserve you being mad.” He frowned.
“You deserve a slap in the face too.”
“I didn’t mean those words before. Just why did you call her a whore?” He didn’t want to hear this now.
“It’s a long story. Can I tell you later?” He nodded.
“You’ll do amazing out there.” His frown was replaced by a smile. “Really I don’t want you to leave. I don’t think I- any of us could deal with you gone.”
I gave him a small smile. “I wasn’t going to go anywhere.”
Even though that is a lie. He pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay Alan.” I hugged him tightly.
“Where is she anyway?”
“She has a headache; she’s on the bus.” I nodded. She has a “headache”. Ha funny.
“One minute!” Someone yelled.
“Shit.” He pulled away from our embrace. “I can’t wait for you to come out on stage.”
“Go.” I pushed him away toward the stage. I followed after them and watched them rush to get the things they need. Austin kissed my cheek.
“I call you out when it’s time.” I nodded. They ran out on stage and the crowd erupted in screams. “Are you fucking ready?” Austin screamed into the mic. They replied with more screams. I felt a smile form on my lips. “Let’s go!” I watched them rock out and jump around having the time of their lives. I loved watching them perform in front of their fans. But the music died down and Austin spoke into the mic. “So we can only do two more songs,” The crowd erupted into boos. He laughed. “I know I wish I could do more for you. But for this next song I’m going to try something different. The song is called Second and Sebring,” The crowd cheered loudly. “But I want to bring out someone special to perform it with me. So I’m going to call out my sister Ariana. Ariana come out here!” I was handed a mic before I walked out on stage. “She is nervous so let her feel welcomed.” The crowd cheered making me smile as I walked over to Austin.
“Hi guys.” I said into the mic. “So my brother decides not to tell me I’m coming out here till fifteen minutes before the show.”
Austin laughed. “It’s because I know she will do amazing.” The crowd cheered as the music for the song started to play. I glanced at Alan and he gave me a reassuring smile. I began to sing.
I believe it's time for me to be famous,
And out of place.
I believe it's time for me to move forward,
When I break through
Austin screamed his part,
This time I'll, make you
I came in again
Proud to see me over, come on daylight.
Austin screamed his line
Proud of, who you raised.
I sang the last line before Austin would begin screaming.
Your shelter, your peacefulness.
Austin gave me a smile before he screamed once again.
So this time I'll make you proud.
Proud of, who you raised up.
You know that I will,
Always be here 'til the end.
Come back so I can say thank you for this,
Home cooked meals and a place to rest,
My troubled head when you're away,
I've passed the test, I've earned an A,
Not just in school, but in life,
You'll always be right by my side.
To help me show, hope to all,
That are lost and sick in this dying world.
I'll use the love you left behind,
I'll change their minds, I'll change their minds.
I hope, I hope you smile,
When you look down on me.
I hope you smile.
This can't, we won't know.
I hope that I make you proud.
During him screaming his parts with so much passion I was trying to look normal up on stage while running to Alan, then Phil, then Aaron they all were giving me happy smiles until it was my part to sing again. I raised the mic to my lips once again.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
My voice began to shake. I could not start crying.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side.
The music went on and played softly as I was trying to regain my composure. The crowd was cheering and singing along. But as I said the last two lines of the song my voice cracked and a few tears leaked from my eyes.
This is not what it is, only baby scars.
I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side, yeah.
The song ended and the crowd cheered. I looked at Austin he had tears in his eyes. Alan came over and gave me and awkward hug because of his guitar. “You were amazing.” His breath tickled my ear.
“Wasn’t my sister amazing?” The crowd screamed what I hopped was a happy cheer. “It’s an emotional song for the both of us. I’m proud she was able to sing it.” He hugged me tightly when he let go I waved and ran off stage.
When I got off stage I was pulled into another hug. “That was amazing Ari.” I knew it was Alex by his voice. I held onto him until the rest of the tears fell.
“It was good?” He nodded.
“I want you to sing Remembering Sunday with me. Your voice is amazing.” I shook my head not believing his words. “One day you will see how amazing you are.” I heard a snort.
“Yea right she is not amazing; she is worthless.” It was Brianna.
“Oh your headache went away? Shame.”
“You know that I didn’t have a headache. I can’t deal with this horrible music. But I did get around today if you know what I mean.” She winked.
“You ungrateful bitch.” Alex gasped since he didn’t even know I was capable of swearing. “If you hurt him I swear.”
“I only want to hurt you. But hurting him is bonus.” She grinned.
“Oh and one more thing none of these people like you. They only pretend because of your brother.”
“Fuck off.” Alex snapped.
“Alan sure has a lot of things to say about you too. Want me to say some? He’s called you a bitch, attention whore, baby, he wishes you never came, and he wishes he never met you in the first place. Do you understand that he wishes you never existed?” She looked at her nails grinning.
“You are lying.” I whispered.
“No I’m not.” The guys came off stage. I looked from her to Alan. I was about to cry.
“Say it’s not true. Tell me what she said isn’t true Alan.” He looked at the ground not speaking.
“I hate you.” I ran from them hearing them all call my name over and over. And for the third time that day I started crying. I put my hand over my chest; I couldn’t breathe. I let a sob escape my lips earning a few looks from people. I fell to the ground I couldn’t even walk anymore. He told me he didn’t mean any of the words he said. Yet he said them to her. He lied to me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed. As I was crying I scratched my arm until it was raw and bleeding.
“Ari, no.” I looked up at Alex his face was full of misery. He picked me up bridal style against his chest. I buried my head into his chest. “This is getting out of hand Ari.”
“No you can’t tell him!” I mumbled into his chest. He didn’t speak again until we were inside his tour bus.
“Look at your freaking arm Ariana!” I flinched at his loud voice. “I’m sorry.” He grabbed the first aid kit and started to clean my arm. I closed my eyes in pain. “I can’t see you hurt yourself anymore.”
“It’s not that bad.” I got a closer look at it there was only a few that actually cut the skin.
“I don’t care; I am telling your brother.” He began wrapping a bandage around my arm he had a permanent frown on his face.
“If you tell him, I won’t be able to trust you anymore.” I copied his frown.
“I honestly don’t care at this point. You are hurting yourself one day you are going to cut too deep and no one will be able to save you! You are better than this Ari.”
“Lex, I’m sorry.” I really wanted to stop but telling my brother scared me especially now if Alan and Brianna are there.
“You need to tell him.” He took both of my hands. I nodded. “Okay, tell him to come here.” Alex smiled and took out his phone. I have been dreading this moment since I started to self-harm. I pulled my knees to my chest again. It became hard to breathe again. I pulled on my necklace around my neck trying to calm down. But I knew what was happening. I was having a panic attack.
Alex got off the phone quickly and sat in front of me and grabbed my arms. “Ari breath,”
“I…can’t…” I choked out.
“Fuck this.” He reached out and took my head in his hands gently. What was he doing? He pressed his lips to mine.
I was shocked but then I pushed him back. “What the hell was that?” I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Your breathing is back to normal isn’t it?” I didn’t realize that until now.
“You kissing me stopped my panic attack?”
He nodded. Before I got to ask him anything more Austin threw the door to the bus open his eyes landed on me and they softened. “What did you need to talk about?” Here goes nothing.

Notes

Hi guys! Happy Friday! i didnt go to school today but i hope your days were good!
Im really loving your guys feedback and reactions to this story it makes me happy! Thank you!
comment, vote, subscribe! C:
geez Brianna sucks doesnt she?
i would love to know your guys favorite parts or something if you would like to tell me! :D