We were already halfway through the day & I still felt like a walking zombie. My eyes felt dry after my encounter with Justin this morning, and I could barely even speak. I had nothing left to say. During lunch one of my friends, Leilani, had heard about what happened and asked me to skip with her, I couldn’t say no. Lunch was when we would go out through the forbidden hallway, and frankly, I wasn’t up for socializing. Oli had asked me to join him and his band mates so I wouldn’t be alone, but as thoughtful and kind as it was, it didn’t sound very appealing.

“Oh honey bunches of oats, you need to eat,” Leilani said as she passed me an apple and an orange juice bottle. She was the only person who understood my friendship with the guys, but she was always too busy to enjoy it with me. Sometimes I envied her, not her social life, but just how absolutely beautiful she was. She never wore makeup, her orange hair was always messy, and still she made it work.

“I’m not really hungry,” I sighed and pushed the food away.

“It’s gonna be okay, you know that right?”

“Eh.”

“It will be. You guys have been best friends for as long as I can remember. Best friends fight, just like normal friends. The difference is that when they get over their problem, they become even closer. You’ll see,” she smiled. I smiled back and let my thoughts wander onto Oli. I would have never pictured myself becoming friends with him, nor attending the Fall Ball with anyone other than Justin, but I was sort of glad I was. Oli was sweet, caring, adorable, and lovely. He barely knew me and he had already taken me under his wing and watched out for me, as I was too helpless to do it myself.

“Maybe, I’m just glad Oli’s around though. He’s been a great help.”

“I’m glad I’m around, too,” I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Oli walking up to us and smiling. He was absolutely gorgeous and care-free. He sat on the patio table with Leilani and I, then pulled out a notebook and got lost in it. He looked so concentrated and collected, that it was weird seeing him in that state. I had seen him do that a couple of times during class, where he would miss the entire lesson just so he could write and erase lyrics frantically.

“Need any help??” Leilani and I said in unison.

“I-uh, yeah that’d be gre-“ Leilani’s phone cut him off and she answered it by the second ring, almost tripping as she walked off.

“I’ll catch you guys later,” she whispered before walking away.

“What can I do to help?”

“Sit there and look pretty.”

“What?”

“I want you to be my muse. And for that, you have to just sit there.”

“Your muse? You want me to be your muse??” I said surprised. I didn’t understand why anyone would want me to be their muse. I was nothing special, just a sad case.

“Yes, you. In fact, you have been my muse for the past 24 hours. I look at you and my creativity goes wild.”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked awkwardly.

“Yes,” he laughed, “I’ve never gotten a song written so fast in my life.”

“What’s it about?”

“My demons.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, sounds a bit morbid, but don’t be offended. When I look at you, I feel more connected to myself, I don’t know how to explain it, I just- I can reflect better on myself when you’re around. I’m more conscious about me.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Would you like to come over tonight and hang for a bit?” he asked, “Matt’s throwing a party and I figured we could hang at my place and then head over to his.”

“That sounds like a great idea, I need a night off.”

“Plus this can be a test run to see how white girl wasted I can get you before you start throwing up. That way I’ll know what to do on Friday for Fall Ball.”

“You are unbelievable,” we laughed. The bell rang and we headed indoors. I had avoided Justin in Yearbook class, but there was no way I’d be able to avoid him in Biology. We were lab partners and today we’d be dissecting frogs. I stood outside the classroom door for a minute to breathe, then made my way inside to my seat. He was already there waiting for me.

“Fee, please don’t shut me out.”

“It’s gonna take time, okay? I trusted you and you broke that trust, I’m trying to feel okay with it, but it’s been one day, Justin. One day. I can’t just get over it in one day.” I said feeling helpless. Part of me wanted for all of this to be over so things could go back to normal with us, but another part of me was still very angry and bitter. That side of me won.

“Alright, I’ll back off and give you your space,” he said slowly. I didn’t reply, I didn’t know what to say. I knew he was putting an effort, and as much as I wanted to put some effort too, I also just wanted to let it take its course. “I have a question though. How long do you think you’ll be mad…?”

I hadn’t thought about that. I mean, no one really thinks about how long they want to be mad, and him asking me only made me feel more aggravated with him for making me think about it. “I don’t know, okay? It could be ‘til next week, maybe the week after that, or maybe even after winter. You can’t seriously be asking me that!”

“Alright, alright sorry. But for the record, I’ll wait it as long as I have to,” he smiled, “all of fall and winter.”

“Even after the ice melts?” I asked sarcastically.

“Even after the ice melts, “ he answered. I smiled. “Just one more thi-“

“No, Justin. Let’s just get this done.” I pointed at the frog sitting in front of us.

“It’s not long, promise. I just want you to know that I love you and I never meant to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t, but it happened and it hurt, and now I’m trying to get over it,” I explained. He sighed and got to work, “and for the record, just because I’m mad doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Best friends fight, I just need time.” He smiled and I felt warm inside at the sight of it. The very smile that made me melt.

Notes

Sorry this is short and kinda late. I had a rough couple of days, but here it is. Kind of a filler chapter, but part of the end of this chapter is very important to some upcoming chapters.

I'll probably update at least 3 chapters each night for the next three days since I'll be free.