“Hey babe, I gotta go. Ev just woke up.” I said getting off the couch and making my way into my bedroom.

“Alright, babe…” I heard Austin sigh.

“I’ll call you later, okay?” I reasoned with him as I grabbed our daughter out of the crib and did my best to coddle her while balancing the phone between my shoulder and ear.

“Yeah, of course…” Austin said trailing off. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too! Go make us proud with that album!” I said with a laugh as we got off the phone. I tossed the phone on my bed as I grabbed a blanket and carried Everly back into the living room.

I settled back onto the couch, allowing Everly to feed as I turned on the TV and covered myself with a blanket.

“How’s she doing?” Hannah, my once again roommate, asked glancing up from her seemingly endless homework.

“She’s good.” I said with a sigh. “She’s still not sleeping much at night. This cold is driving her nuts.”

“How’s Austin?” Hannah asked beginning to flip through some papers.

“He’s good; he sounds exhausted every time I talk to him. I think he’s just really sick of being stuck on the East Coast. I think he misses home.”

“Well how could he not,” Hannah laughed. “He’s got a baby now!”

“No, I know. But I mean, it is his job.”

“That’s true.”

“I just hope everything’s coming along okay with the album. He just seems so off whenever I talk to him.”

“He’s probably just under a lot of pressure from the label and stuff, ya know?” Hannah said with a shrug.

“Yeah, probably…” I said allowing her to return to her work. There was always a part of me that wondered what my life would be like right now if I didn’t have Everly, if I had gone to school instead. Would I be sitting there with Hannah pouring myself into my stats homework and my biggest worries being upcoming exams and due dates.

There had been a time shortly after realizing I was pregnant, when I thought about getting an abortion and not telling Austin a thing. That had been the angry and selfish side of me, wanting to be able to call the shots in my own life for once. But then as the idea slowly sunk in, I had realized keeping the baby, keeping a piece of Austin, would have made me that happiest being in the world. And it was as she grew in my stomach that I realized how foolish these thoughts had been. This was no longer about me or Austin. This was about our daughter, and whether he wanted to be a part of her life or not I found I didn’t care. She was going to be beautiful and I was going to love her with every fiber of my being either way.

But he had decided to be in her life, and he loved her just as much as I did. We had created an amazing little family together. Everything was absolutely perfect, except for the backlash from his fans. But that was something I had learned to deal with a very long time ago.

No, everything was perfect. I had an amazing little girl to wake up to every morning and her amazing father by my side. Austin was out, living out his dreams. Of Mice & Men were busy in New Jersey recording their third album and working diligently, as they had for most of the summer.

He would be home soon and I knew it was killing him to be away from Everly for so long. But I did my best to send him pictures of her daily and we FaceTimed every night so he could say goodnight to her. In his absence, she had learned to crawl and I knew it was killing him to not be able to witness her doing it in person.

As Everly finished up her meal, I cleaned her up and let her down on the floor to play for a bit, checking my social media apps absent mindedly.

“What if I went to school part time?” I asked out loud making Hannah look up from her work again.

“What?” She laughed.

“Ya know, what if I took a few classes?”

“I think it’d be awesome, but what about Everly?”

“Well, if Austin’s in town, I mean he could watch her.”

“But, Rae, what if he’s not in town?”

“I didn’t think that far…” I admitted with a giggle.

“You’d have to look into child care.”

“I don’t want her at a day care all day…” I sighed.

“No school for you then!” Hannah laughed.

“Sometimes I just feel like I’m not doing anything productive…”

“You’re raising a human being…” Hannah smiled. “How is that not productive.”

“I don’t know!” I sighed. “I guess there’s a lot going on in my mind that I’m still working through.”

“Your whole life changed, it’s understandable.” Hannah shrugged.

My whole life had certainly changed in the last year and a half. I took a moment to think back to the person I had been just a mere 15 months or so ago. I had been living at Charlotte’s in San Francisco, looking for every excuse in the world to get away from her. And that’s when Alex had called with plans for me to visit him on Warped.

Warped Tour.

That summer at Warped had been absolutely unforgettable and amazing. If it hadn’t been for that summer, I wouldn’t have been pushed to get myself healthy and clean. I really owed Alex and Jack a lot.

Opening my messages, I texted them both in a group message.

“Just wanted to let you know how much I love and miss both of you (:”

“Love you too Rae Rae, send me more pictures of that munchkin!” Jack responded.

“Haha love you to Rae! I’ll be out in LA soon, I’ll let you know.” Alex said.

Smiling, I placed my phone on the table watching as Everly giggled at the toy she was trying to play with.