Today I have been to hell and back. The sad thing about its only lunch time. I still have half a day to endure. Half a fucking day, I don't think I can survive.

I walked into the lunchroom that blossomed with children. I went to the back of the lunchroom, at the back table. Alone of course. Again hoping that if I was out of sight then I would be out of mind.

Just as I pulled out my lunch the devil herself walked up."Why are you eating lunch?" China raised an eyebrow "You don't even need any food, you already fat as a cow."

"Black Angus!" Taylor chuckled at her own joke and recived a high five from China.

That hit hard. I've been called Black Angus multiple times before but not by my own cousin. Taylor's mom and my biological mom are sisters. So Taylor is technically my first cousin....my first fucking cousin. How could you bully your own family. Blood is thicker than water, atleast thats what I thought.

"You're fucking Pathetic Taylor." I slapped my hand over my mouth. Fuck, i can't believe i just said that.

"I'm pathetic." Taylor paused "No, I'm pretty sure you're the pathetic one. You're whole life is fucking pathetic. Your uglyand you're black as night itself and you listen to that emo shit music. Now that's pathetic." She glared at me "But what's the most pathetic about your life. What really takes the fucking cake.....is that your own mom dosen't want you. Yo own momma said and i quote 'I don't want a tar baby' Nobody loves you. Not your biological mother....not your fucking foster mother. Now tell me that's not fucking pathetic."

Tears cascaded down my face. I never told people my buisness. The only reason she knows is because she's family. Yet here I am with my whole life story floating around with the tension in the lunchroom. I looked at Taylor and then at China. I saw something that I'd never though I would see in her eyes. Guilt.

I couldn't stay at school any longer. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away from here. I grabbed my backpack and I ran.

I let my feet carry me. Around the curve, down the street, through the alley, to the only place that I feel safe. To Mama Fuentes's house. To my home.

I took forever to lock the door. My hands were trembling as I tried to hold back my sobs. I finally got it unlocked and yanked the door open.

I knew that Mama wasn't gonna be home until tomorrow. She had some kind of Church trip to go to in LA. I walked upstairs and grabbed my one friend. The one thing that I knew would always be there for me. My beautiful razor.

"Isn't she lovely." I sanged while twirling the blade around in my hand "Isn't she beautiful."

I picked the razor up and connected it to my skin. The cold metal felt so good against my skin. "I'm gonna pain a picture, a picture with a twist." I sang as i dragged the metal across my skin." I'm gonna paint a picture a picture on my wrist."

"I'm a cutter, addicted to this sight." I belted as the razor kissed my skin again "Slice myself with pure delight."

Minutes later I finished and looked down at the masterpiece I had created. My skin was shredded. Cut after cut after cut. I really did a nice piece here.My best work of art yet.

I smiled "Finally beautiful."

Then I was out cold

Notes

Gosh I cried writing this chapter. Just knowing how it felt when people picked on me. Everything said to her was at one point said to me (except the adoption part. That's for the plot) but yeah....so..um

Hope it didn't suck to bad

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