I took Austin’s hand and he squeezed it comfort. I was on Of Mice's tour bus and we were in the back lounge. It’s been a few days since the argument or fight or whatever you want to call it. Vic hasn’t been on the bus, I’m not sure where he’s been.
“How you feeling?” Austin asked.
“I don’t know,” I muttered.
“Have you seen Vic?”
“No, I kind of want to though,”
“I get that,” he nodded.
“Austin,” I breathed softly.
“Yeah?”
“I’m scared,”
“Of who? Of Vic?” he urged.
“No,” I shook my head. “I’m leaving for England. Everyone is heading home tomorrow, but when I get home I’ll be pushed onto a plane,”
“You don’t have to go,”
“I do,” I sighed. “It could be good. I’ll have my own life and I could make something of myself, Austin,”
“I feel a but coming on,” he laughed.
“But this could destroy me and I’m terrified. What if I go back to sleeping around?”
“You won’t, Lyssa,”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m Austin Carlile and I just know these things,” he said seriously. "You don’t have to do that anymore. If you want to then call me, even if international calls are fucking expensive,” he joked.
“Okay,” I laughed.
“Good,” Austin grinned.
“Can I tell you something? Something that nobody knows,”
“Sure,” he smiled.
“When I was fifteen I had my first boyfriend. His name was Will and I really loved him. He was the first guy I ever slept with, but he cheated on me,” I explained.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed.
“It made me question me things, you know? I thought that maybe I was no good at it so he went looking else where. I was angry and I wanted to get my own back, so I got dressed up and went to a party. I slept with two of his best friends that night. I was just so damn sad,”
“Will started it,” Austin muttered and I nodded.
“He told everyone that I cheated on him and called me a whore. Eventually my parents heard and they wouldn’t listen to me. I’ve never seen them so disappointed in me. But Vic and Mike were on tour so they never found out,”
“What happened after?”
“A few things. My Nana died and I’ve had friends leave. Not to mention I’ve dated some real assholes,” I shrugged. “By the way I’ve never been dumped, I guess they just hear I’m a whore then when they realise I want to get serious they get scared and cheat,” I explained.
“They shouldn’t,” Austin said and squeezed my hand.
“I know,” I shrugged. “But after my Nana died I went to a club. They were queuing up to take my mind off it. And I realised that men like me and even fall in love with me for ten minutes. I had this ability. So that’s what I’d do when I was sad, I’d just use people to make me feel better and feel loved for once,” I said.
“How did your parents and Vic and Mike find out?” Austin asked softly.
“My parents already knew about it. They didn’t know what to do, they just wanted me gone. So they changed my school and forced me to board so they didn’t have to deal with my shit. Vic and Mike only found out last year. I was at one of their shows and my boyfriend and I broke up. I slept with the drummer of one of their supporting acts. They found me but I told them I was drunk. They stopped buying that by the third time. But Mike always did forgive me and Vic may be pissed but he always came around and no more was said,” I explained.
“You’ve gone through so much and I’m proud of you for wanting to change now. I know you want to, Lyssa,” Austin told me. I nodded slowly and he wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the head.
Then the door started to open. We looked up and I saw Vic. Austin looked at him stiffly but eventually smiled. He walked inside awkwardly and stopped in front of us.
“Mike said you’d be here,” Vic explained.
“Hi,” I muttered.
“Could I talk to Lyssa on my own, Austin?” Vic asked hopefully.
“Sure,” he agreed. “If you need me give me a shout,” Austin told me and I smiled. Austin walked out of the door and shut it behind him.
“Hey,” Vic said and sat down next to me.
“Hi,” I replied.
“I heard what you told Austin, about what you’ve gone through,”
“Oh, how much?”
“A lot,” he nodded. “I never knew,”
“You know now,”
“It’s probably too late, but I want to say sorry. Not just for how I treated you but for how absent I’ve been in your life,”
“You’ve been touring,”
“No, I should have been there for you and maybe you wouldn’t have felt the need to do what you did. If I listened to you instead of just jumping to assumptions then keeping them to myself,” Vic explained. “And I’m here to tell you that if you don’t want to go to England, you don’t have to. You can stay with me,”
“Our parents would hate that,” I reminded him.
“I don’t care. I just want to be there for you now,”
“Vic, I want you to be there. But I have to go to England and I want to. I think it would be good for me,” I told him.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” I agreed.
“And I wanted to ask you about Jaime, I just hope it doesn’t come out wrong. Why him? I know now that for you it was a reaction to being upset or angry, but why did it have to be one of my best friends?”
“I didn’t want to be with Jaime because I was upset, Vic. Jaime was the one guy I didn’t want to sleep with. I love him, we were together and when you found us I really loved him,”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I nodded.
“Then I’m sorry for that too. And if you want to be with Jaime then I’m telling you I’d be happy for you, despite everything,”
“That’s brilliant, but I’m not even sure if Jaime will talk to me anymore, let alone be with me,” I said.
“Oh, Lyssa. I’m sorry,” Vic told me. “I love you,” he added. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back tightly and kissed my cheek.
“I love you too,” I breathed in his ear and Vic smiled.

Notes

Hey! I was going to upload this yesterday but I got all stressed and some shit happened so I never. What did you think? Will she go to England? What about Vic? Is he finally stepping up? What will happen in the next and last chapter? :)