23 June, 4:06pm, 2003

I still haven't told Oli. I know we aren't official or anything, but I still feel guilty. I have to tell him, but not right now.

---

I put my journal away just in time as Vic got back from the bathroom.

"So, how was school?" he asked, sitting at my desk and spinning around on the chair.

"Boring," I shrugged.

"Anything happen today?" I looked at him in confusion.

"Umm, no...?"

"I seen what happened with Eric," I froze.

"Oh..."

"Yeah. I was going to help, but Tony stepped in,"

"Yeah, he stops them a lot..."

"How long?" I hesitated and shook my head. "Bonnie. How long?"

"3 years..." I looked down.

"He's been touching you for 3 years?!"

"It's not a big deal!" I lied.

"It is a big deal Bonnie. It's a big fucking deal!" I flinched. He hardly ever raises his voice at me, or curses. But when he does, I really don't like it. "It's sexual assault!"

"But I don't do anything to move away," I said quietly.

"Because you're scared. You never stand up for yourself," Vic stood up and sat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"That's one of the things I hate about myself. I never let myself stop them. I just... stand there,"

"I have a feeling you're not talking about Eric and his friends anymore,"

"Mike kissed me a few days ago... And I didn't pull away," I muttered.

"Bonnie..." Vic sighed, removing his arms and placing his head in his hands. Man he has sexy arms. If he wasn't Big Brother Vic, I'd jump his bones.

Oh god Bonnie. Not the time.

"I'm sorry,"

"I just don't want you confused. I wanted you guys to be friends again, but I never wanted this. I don't want a you and Mike,"

"There isn't going to be an us," I assured him. "I'm just... Confused,"

"Why did you leave it so late to tell me?"

"I don't know..." I said honestly.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Tony..."

"Of course he does," Vic scoffed, looking ahead.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You tell Tony and Oli everything. You never tell me things anymore. They replaced me,"

"They didn't replace you Vic," I sighed.

"When was the last time we hung out? Just us?" I thought back and realised he was right.

"Awhile ago..." I admitted, looking down at my lap.

"I... I needed you to help stop me,"

"What are you talking about Vic?" I asked, my voice breaking a little bit.

"Eric's older brother Jimmy... Him and his friends said some things to me, and kicked me in the stomach. It almost made Me do it again. I didn't think I would be able to resist," Vic choked back a sob.

"But you didn't?" He shook his head and I sighed in relief. "What did they say to you?"

"They told me that the world would be a better place without me... And that I should kill myself," I hated seeing this happen to Vic. He was like a vulnerable little boy and took everything to heart.

"Don't believe them. You belong here. With me and the others. You're going to be a hero to many people one day Vic. You're already mine," I pulled him into a hug and held his head to my chest, kissing the top of his head.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"I miss you too Vic. So much."





I laughed as Tony fell over the football, falling face first into the grass. Kellin came along and stole the ball, lightly kicking Turtle in the head as he did so. Oli helped his team member up, giving me a wink and a smile which I returned.

"He adores you, you know," Jaime said, sitting next to me. We were currently at Oli's house in his epic secret backyard playing football.

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing the dumb card.

"Don't act stupid. You know what I'm talking about," I shrugged and turned my attention back to the game.

"I know Angelina isn't real," Jaime whispered.

"What?" I quickly turned to look at him.

"Please. I didn't believe the Angelina bullshit for a second. Like know you two were cuddling before we came,"

"How?" I asked, truly curious.

"We all know he loves you. It's not hard to tell. A blind person could see it, it's that obvious. And you love him too,"

"Well, how'd you know we were cuddling?" I asked. He grinned.

"Well, Oli isn't a make out or sex kind of guy. He likes cuddling and cute kisses. It could've been the only reason why you two were acting so strange as we walked in. I noticed," Jaime winked before heading over to Oli.

"So, how is Angelina?"

Oli face palmed and pushed a laughing Jaime away. I admit, he's smarter than I thought he was.

He he is the last person I would've guessed that would've found out Angelina was a made up girl. Or Alan. He was a special boy.





I laughed as Oli started throwing daisies down my top, looking very concentrated.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Yes. Now stop moving,"

"Excuse me?" I asked, purposely moving side to side so he missed. "I don't think I heard any manners,"

"Please?" I smirked and shook my head, moving faster.

"You're such a little shit," He laughed, throwing them at my head. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips before sitting back, looking up at the sky. This boy was my definition
of perfect, and he wanted me.

I had to tell him.

"Oli, I need to tell you something," I said seriously.

"You're not sick of me already, are you?" he laughed, but there was a hint of nervousness and fear behind it.

"No," I chuckled as his face visibly relaxed. "You're probably going to lose interest in me,"

"Why?" I sighed. Well, this is it.

"About a week ago, Mike kissed me,"

"Oh..." His smile dropped, replaced by a sad frown.

"I'm sorry," I whispered truthfully.

"Did you kiss him back?" Oli asked, his voice quieter.

"No," I shook my head. He smiled and leaned forward again, cupping my face with his hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked in confusion. He should be mad at me.

"You didn't kiss him back,"

"How of you know I was telling the truth?" I was telling the truth, but I was curious on how he believed me so quickly.

"I know when you lie Bonnie. Your eyes get darker. I've seen you lie a few times,"

"Damn it, I thought I was such a good liar," I frowned.

"You are, but I guess no one pays attention to your little things like I do," I smiled and he picked up a daisy and gently put it in my hair, placing a soft kiss on my cheek before pulling away.

"Beautiful."

Notes