One Moment

*Hazel's p.o.v*

"Been a long time, Hazel... It's great to fucking see you."

Ian's face flashed in my mind, haunting me like a foggy haze. A haze that consisted of my fear, setting my bones so cold that they froze still.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

I saw his red face, the veins popping out of his neck. I saw his eyes that were darkened with malice. I swear I could even feel his hot, angry breath still on me.

"This is your fault... You did this.."

It was all fog in my mind, the images of what happened tearing up the lining inside my head.

"He's gone..."

Then I saw Mark, cold and lifeless. Images of him were buzzing around. All the old memories and the new ones that were just created were being filtered like some sick kind of slideshow. It was like all the moments I had shared with him, good and bad, all came down to that day. That moment... That one moment that everything just shattered into pieces.

"He's gone..."

Those same words were repeated like a ghostly whisper into my ear, being seconded by all the pictures in my head... There was Ian. There was Mark. There was fear. So much fear...

Then there was too much for my subconscious self to handle. It burned so badly that it woke me.

I shot up, a scream of agony escaping my lips, pants following after. I looked around, frantically trying to figure out where I was. Was I still with Ian? Is Mark here?

My arms protectively wrapped around my stomach, it becoming sort of a reflex to protect my little baby. Motherly instinct, I guess.

My heart shot up to a rapid pace, rocketing even higher when I felt a hand on my arm. I quickly scrambled back away from it, seeming to hit a wall. "Stop... Don't.." I whimpered out like it was a reflex, without even truly thinking about where I might be.

I could only keep seeing Ian as he took me, his face, the way his hot, evil breath brushed up against my face. It was real. It happened. He took me to Mark. Mark is gone.

I killed Mark.

My mind ached on the inside, trying to let screams out, but my body was shut down. It was too much. I was too scared.. terrified. But the worst part is, not only am I scared of what happened.. I'm scared of myself.

"Hazel, baby, it's just me," a comforting voice grew closer to me, definitely not sounding like Ian's or Mark's. It was dark, but I was able to make out Austin's face as he came over, placing his hands on my arms that were tight around my own body. His touch was warm. "It's just me. You're in the bus... You're safe," he cooed, my heart beginning to slow down and warm from his voice.

I was still a little too shook up with fear to respond, trying to push myself back to reality, not whatever nightmare I was just living in. It was a difficult place to escape, but when I locked onto Austin's big, brown eyes, I started to get lost in them instead.

His hands moved to cup my cheeks, searching my own eyes so he knew I was hearing him. "You're okay. You're on the bus, in my bunk, and everything is going to be okay," he spoke so surely that he even convinced me, his words beginning to infiltrating my hardened shell, swirling around the numbness that tried to take over my body.
I then remembered last night when Austin sang to me and I completely broke down. I don't know if it was because of the song or the lyrics or the fact that Austin would do so much to help me, not giving up when I had given him every reason to. He stayed right here and loved me.
It completely melted my heart and for some reason the music got me to screw my head back on so I could remember how to move and be alive.

I didn't feel like it was in my control to snap out of whatever trance I was in, my body's reaction being to fall back into it, but Austin pulled me out of the thoughts trying to drag me down.

"Austin..." I called out to him in a broken voice, hand moving to reach for him.

"C'mere," he breathed in relief, immediately pulling me into his chest. I didn't hesitate to fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his torso and burying my head into his chest, breathing him in and out. His sent provided me with a sense of safety.

His fingers slowly brushed through my hair as he gave me one of his Austin hugs, squeezing everything bad out of me. I felt like I could breathe for the first time since what happened with Ian. This hug was the only thing keeping me from trying to slip into numbness again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Austin whispered down to me and I shook my head no against his chest, hoping he'd let it go. Which luckily he did, just nodding, but I know I'd have to talk about it sometime. As much I don't want to and wish I didn't have to, I know Austin's not going to let me keep it bottled up inside.

Normally Sammy wouldn't let me either, but I'm not sure if he even gives a shit anymore... I know Kush doesn't, that's for sure. Right when I needed their support most, they weren't there to give it. And he wonders why I'd go to Austin...

My thoughts got interrupted by my big yawn, really noticing how tired I am. I heard Austin sigh, thinking the same thing I was. Its been days since I've really slept, and even the past few hours I got weren't very good because I was living in nightmare hell.

"Lets try to get some more sleep, yeah?" Austin asked, starting to shift back so he could lay down, but I stayed very still, not budging, knowing if I go lay down with him I will fall back asleep and return to the place were Mark can still haunt me. "Haze, what's wrong?" He realize I wasn't moving with him, just staring down at the covers, jaw clenched.

I stayed quiet, feeling the overwhelming urge to just curl up and go back into my trance again. Austin must have noticed because he sighed again, reaching out to brush some of my bangs that had fallen in front of my face behind my ear. "You haven't slept in days, babe... You need to stay healthy for you and Jelly Bean in there," he motioned to my stomach.

A wave of guilt washed over me, giving me a reason to not go be completely lifeless again. "Don't do this, Haze," he pleaded. "Don't shut down again. Don't think that that is the only solution," he rubbed his thumb lightly over my cheek. "I'm right here to help you and be here for you... You don't need to be afraid, Haze. You don't need to shut down."

As much as Austin's words hit home, he was wrong in some places. I can't just not be afraid. And I do have to be.

I'm afraid of what happened. I'm afraid of what I've done. I'm afraid of laying down and fucking closing my eyes because it won't stop replaying in my head. And I'm afraid of myself... I'm afraid of what kind girlfriend I'll be for Austin, or more importantly; what kind of mother I'll be to my child.

It's my fault Mark it dead. It's my fault Ian is filled with evil now. It's my fault my band doesn't want to deal with me. It's all my fault.

What kind of mother will that make? A murderous bitch?

"Hey, look at me," Austin put his hand under my chin, turning me to look at him after noticing I was slipping away into the thoughts again. "Don't you ever think that you are lesser to your fear, because you're not. Don't ever think that you are not strong enough to get through this, because you are. You are, Hazel.. And don't you ever think that I won't be right here, or that I won't love you, because I always will."

Silence lingered around us after he finished, both of our eyes locked on each others. My heart was so unsure what to feel, my mind having a civil war inside of it, both love and fear fighting to take the main course through my veins.

"And don't forget that our little baby girl or boy in here loves you completely and utterly with every part of his or her existence. No matter what happens to you or what you do, you have your family right here, loving you through everything," Austin's hand slid onto my stomach as he spoke and his words hit me so hard this time that tears welled up in my eyes, lip starting to quiver.

I didn't want to cry, but I had so much inside and his words were basically pulling the tears out from my eyes. Austin immediately cupped my face again, his thumbs brushing away the bastard tears that fell out of my eyes. "You are my everything," he whispered to me, my heart fluttering for the first time in a while.

It feels like Austin is all I've got, the one that my heart swells for... And with out him, where would I be?

I may be his everything, but he is my one and only.

Notes

Okay guys, so this might not be my best and is definitely kinda a filler chapter, but I'm just really excited to wrap this up and make the sequel!! I have so many ideas I'm excited to write!

There is going to be a good amount of chapters left for this story, but not too many! I'm having this story end when 'Warped ends' and then the sequel pick up when they're not at Warped.

Speaking of Warped, I just bought my tickets for this summer!! Are any of you guys going? Any bands you're looking forward to seeing?

Don't forget to let me know what you think!