I sat in the bus and I stared into the wall. Did Ian really kiss me? Did he? And what did I do? How did I react?

He smiled and he looked so damn happy. I got a huge smile and started to laugh, for no reason at all. And then it happened… Ian leaned down and he kissed me. His soft lips touched mine. I got really surprised and he gently laid his hand over me cheek, closed his eyes and his kiss became more then soft. It was passionate and he gently bit down my lip, begging for entrance. But I just backed and I stared at him. He looked a little bit hurt and then he said he was sorry.
"I’m sorry Rin, I don’t.. I don’t know why I did that" he said. I just shook my head and then I ran away from the backstage area and to the bus. I ran over to the bunkers and jumped into my bed, closed the curtain and just stared into the wall.

I raised my hand and I touched my burning lips. Because I could still feel his touch and breath against them. Ian had kissed me. Ian King had kissed Me. Me of all people. And what should I do? What should I say? Oh fuck… Austin. I have to tell Austin. Or should I? fuck… If I did tell Austin he would come and get me. Probably. He would come and he would beat the shit out of Ian. But Ian had no idea that Austin and I were a thing. No one knew. Maybe I should tell him? I swallowed.

I jumped a little when the busdoor opened and the others came back.
"Rin, are you here?" Alex called.
"Yes, I’m feeling a bit… ill again" I lied.
"You okay? Do you need something?" Alex asked, and I could hear that he was worried.
"It’s okay, it’s probably because I was so nervous before" I said.
"You sure?" Alex asked.
"I’m pretty sure Alex" I said and rolled my eyes.
"I can hear that you’re rolling your eyes… But hey, call that secret boyfriend of yours, and talk to him for a while… I’m going out with El Rey" he said. I could hear the others asking him about my secret boyfriend. Even Ian asked.
"Ah, Rin have a boyfriend… I have no idea who he is but he exist, believe me on that" he said with a laugh. I glanced out from the bunker and I saw that Ian looked towards the bunkers. Guilt and sadness in his face. Then he walked out after the others.

Austin answered almost immediately and I bursted out crying. I felt guilty.
"It went that bad?" he asked.
"I puked" I sobbed and he let out a small gasp.
"On stage?" he asked.
"No… After. I ran off stage when I finished" I said and wiped my eyes.
"Then why are you crying? That’s normal" he chuckled.
"Because something happened" I said and swallowed. All I could hear was silence. My own breathing and silence.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Ian he… He… he…" I began and I could feel the tension through the phone.
"What did that fucker do?" Austin asked, dangerously calm. I swallowed.
"He kissed me after the show, and said he was sorry" I whispered.
"There is no way in hell that he’s sorry about it" Austin said. He was still very calm. And it scared me.
"I’m sorry" I sobbed.
"For what? Did you kiss him back?" Austin said, and I could hear that he was hurt.
"God no, I didn’t do that" I said.
"Then why are you saying that you’re sorry?" he asked.
"Because it happened" I sobbed and my tears started to pour down again.
"But Rin love… yes it happened, but if you didn’t kiss him back… Then you have nothing to feel sorry about" he said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Please tell me that if anything like that happens again… will you tell me?" he said.
"I’ll do that… I promise" I said and swallowed. I felt a little bit better now.

- - -

The guys came back and I had apparently fallen asleep. Because I woke up to them singing and being really drunk as they walked inside. I grunted a little and put the pillow over my head.
"You okay?" Ian asked and looked inside my bunker. I turned around and saw that he was completely sober.
"Yeah, I’m fine" I said.
"You don’t look fine" he said.
"I said I’m fine" I said and looked at him, telling him with my eyes that I meant it.
"Did you have a fight with your.. boyfriend?" he asked.
"No, he wasn’t angry when I told him the story… Well his angry at you, but not at me" I said and swallowed.
"Who is he?" he asked.
"Someone I care about" I answered him and then turned my back at him. Ian stood there for a moment and then he walked away.