I was lying in my bed, just lying there and didn’t want to wake up. But I knew I had to. I had to get things to my apartment, and buy food. I didn’t have any food. But I just wanted to stay in bed for another 10 minutes, or so. So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. and of course my phone went off…
"You have reached the very tired Crystal Reed, is it important speak up if not let me sleep" I muttered when I answered.
"Chris, is around lunch… You should get up" Alan said.
"But my bed is so comfy" I complained.
"I didn’t knew Austin had a comfy guest bed" he said and sounded surprised.
"I’m sleeping in my own bed, in my own apartment" I said and Alan sounded even more surprised.
"So you found yourself an apartment?" he said.
"Yeah, and I should probably get up… I need to buy furniture and food" I said and sat up.
"Need some help with that? I’m free today" he said.
"That would be great" I answered him and smiled.
"And… And I’m sorry, I guess we need to talk. Now that you know that I know" he said. I swallowed. Yeah… Probably. Alan and I needed to talk.

I was looking at a kitchen table when he hugged me from behind. I jumped a little but when I saw that it was Alan I just smiled.
"Hello" I said and he smiled.
"So… Kitchen table?" he asked and looked at the white one in front of me.
"I’m thinking white, but I know how horrible it looks when you spill on them" I said and sighed.
"What is the color of your apartment?" he asked.
"White, black and a brownish grey I guess" I said and shrugged.
"What is the dominant color then?" he asked.
"White walls, and then black and grey stairs, windows and all that" i said.
"White table it is" he said and nodded.
Together we picked out a new kitchen table with four black chairs, a black couch with a white coffee table. Two black nightstands for my grey and white bed and then lots, and lots, of paintings with the colors red, purple and gold. To get the color inside my apartment. We bought a new tv, a desk for me and a new laptop. Since mine had been stolen. Then we walked home to wait for the company to drive them to my house and Alan got impressed.
"Hey, we should have gotten you some furniture for your balcony" he said when we got outside.
"Let’s take that another day" I said and smiled.

When everything was in its place we decided to go grocery shopping. Since I had no food to offer him and he was hungry. We talked about their upcoming tour and he seemed excited.
"We’re going on tour together with Memphis may fire and some new band" he said and nodded.
"You seem really excited" I said and laughed.
We stood in line to pay for the food and Alan nodded.
"Well of course, I love being on tour and so does the others as well" he said.
"I wish I could come with you but at the same time no, not after my experience on the last tour" I said and shook my head.
"Not every tour is bad, you just got unlucky" Alan said.
"Maybe, maybe not" I shrugged.

We got back to my apartment and put everything where it should be. We had taken sushi with us and we sat down by the table. Alan looked at me and gave me a small smile. I sighed and I just began talking. I told him everything and for every minute that passed Alan looked more and more shocked. He just stared at me. Pale and shocked. Like he never could have believe it. But he knew that it was true. I wouldn’t lie to him.
"So… Who else knows?" he asked.
"Only Austin… I somehow told him and yeah… He’s been there" I mumbled.
"You told Austin… but not me?" he asked and looked at me.
"I only told Austin because he found me in Las Vegas… It kinda just blurted out from me" I said and swallowed. Alan looked at me and then he nodded. He could understand that.
"I’m sorry if I pressed you into it but… I’m glad you told me" he said.
"It feels good to have told you… Because I always wanted to but…" I said but didn’t know what else to say.
"You didn’t knew how?" Alan asked. I looked at him and then I nodded. That would be one way to describe it.
"You don’t have to answer this but I really need to know… Is there just sex between you and Austin, or is it… more?" he asked and looked at me. I closed my eyes and swallowed.
"I don’t think there is something… We’ve only had sex like… one or two times" I said and sighed.
"Not more?" Alan said and looked surprised. I shook my head.
"Not more" I whispered. Alan looked at me and first he just looked. Like he was thinking and then he looked a bit sad.
"You like him" he said quietly. I looked at him and I swallowed. Then I slowly nodded. Alan looked at me and then he sighed.
"I think I do" I answered him.
And with that I felt how my heart ached a little. Because I didn’t really want to. Because even I knew that Austin wouldn’t like me back. Not like I wanted anyway.