I was nervous to say the least as I tried to go about my job. It was hard when my mind just kept flashing back to the idea that Austin was going to be at Alan’s tonight and I had literally no one to go with.

“Are you okay?”

I looked over to see my co-worker Sarah looking at me with a look of concern.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just nervous.” I said trying to brush it off.

Sarah was a pretty blonde who was the same height as me. She was the same age as well and was probably the person I would have considered myself to be the closest to at work. We were always talking about my perspective colleges. She was pushing really hard for me to go to Long Beach State, where she was currently majoring in history.

“About what?”

“I have to go to this stupid party tonight and I have no one to bring and my ask is going to be there and it’ll just be awkward…” I explained hurriedly.

She laughed, “I could go.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I don’t have anything to do tonight and we get off at the same time.”

“Sarah! That would mean so much to me!” I said smiling wide.

“I’ll only go if you apply to Long Beach!” She said wagging her finger at me.

“Deal!” I laughed.

We got off work at 8:30 and she followed me out to my car. I quickly dialed Alan’s number as we climbed in.

“Hey!” I said when he picked up. “I’m on my way now. Do you need me to pick anything up?”

“No, we’re good Rae, just get here!” He said over the music and the people talking.

“Text me your address!”

Hanging up, I started the car and turned the radio down waiting for him to send me the address.

“So, what’s the deal with you and your ex? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” Sarah asked casually checking her makeup in the mirror of the visor.

“It’s so frustrating!” I said sliding my hands down my face in frustration. “Basically, we got together in kind of a whirlwind situation at Warped Tour.”

“Okay…” Sarah nodded as my phone went off and I copied Alan’s address into my maps app.

“So we got together and it all just happened really fast. Before him I was in this really shitty relationship and I was on all kinds of drugs…” I explained putting the car in drive and heading out of the parking lot.

“What!” Sarah said shocked.

“Yeah,” I said rolling my eyes. “Well my old ex showed up at one of the dates and he basically tried to
kill me. So Austin, my recent ex, was all mad at me for keeping secrets and we got in this huge fight and then got back together and then broke up because we wanted space and then we got back together and then we broke up again because I couldn’t handle the stress of sitting at home while he was on tour and I started doing drugs. So then I got dragged to Australia back in January with his band and my best friend Alex’s band and they promised to keep me away from him but we basically kept getting into arguments the whole tour and then we had sex and I left him the next morning, flew to the states, and got myself in rehab.”

“Wow. Okay…” Sarah said with a slight laugh, nodding. “I can see the awkwardness now.”

“It gets better!” I said with a laugh as we stopped at a red light. “So, I get out of rehab and find out he was arrested and charged with felonious assault. So I fly out to wherever the hell they were and surprise him and things are going great and we’re like friends and we’re flirtatious and we have sex and he tells me he loves me multiple times so I’m like awesome! We’re getting back together. Nope! Nope! He tells me no and says he can’t trust that I’m not on drugs and is mad I left him in Australia. So I said fuck you, broke up with him, and left him again.”

“So is he over you? Does he have a new girlfriend?” Sarah asked and I almost laughed at how interested she was in my story.

“No! That’s the best part. According to his tweets and the numerous calls and texts he’s sent me, he’s far from over me and feels like he made a mistake.”

“Wow…” Sarah said taking a moment to let everything I had just said to her sink in. “Tonight should be fun!”

“Oh, it’ll be fun indeed!” I said with a laugh.

We soon arrived at Alan’s place and made our way up, both feeling slightly self-conscious in our work clothes but hoping it would work. I knocked on the door only to have it swing wide to reveal a man I had never seen before and the smell of weed.

“Helllooo pretty ladies…” He slurred, leaning against the open door and taking a swig of his beer.

“Hi…” I said stepping past him, closely followed by Sarah, looking around the room for a familiar tuft of red hair.

It didn’t take me long to find it on the back porch, sandwiched between Austin and Tino.

I quickly whispered to Sarah who was who as we made our way out there.

“Raegan!” Alan, Tino, and Phil all cheered as I came out and I went around hugging each of them. I quickly caught them up on me moving back to California and introduced everyone to Sarah.

“Let’s go inside, I’ll show you around.” Alan said gesturing for me to follow him.
Feeling someone kick the back of my shoe, I turned to see Austin standing there with a sad smile on
his face.

“Hi.” He said simply.

“Hi.” I replied before making my way after Alan.

“He just said hi to me!” I said as Alan let us into the bedroom and shut the door behind us.

“He did?”

“Yes.” I said crossing my arms over my chest. “Is it okay if I like leave soon. I don’t want to be here.”

“Rae, I haven’t seen you in like a month!” Alan protested.

“I know, but it’s just Austin’s here…”

“You can’t avoid him forever. He still talks about you all the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. He’s always asking everyone if we’ve heard from you lately or if someone mentions you
he perks right up.”

There was a knock on the door and I was terrified it was Austin. “Don’t let him in here!” I hissed at
Alan as he opened the door.

Aaron peeked made his way in, shutting the door behind him. “Nice to see you too Rae…” He said with a laugh hugging me.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were going to be Austin…”

“Yeah I was just telling her how he asks about her all the time.” Alan said rolling his eyes.

“Did you mention how she’s the background on his phone?” Aaron asked nonchalantly.

“What!” I asked horrified.

“Oh yeah, I forgot!” Alan laughed.

“He needs to get over me. He’s the one who ruined any chances of being with me.” I said crossing my
arms in defiance.

“Oh stop it. You still love him too.” Alan said rolling his eyes.

“No! I don’t. I’m so sick of him.” I said.

“Whatever. Do you like my house?” Alan asked gesturing around.

“I do. It’s really nice. You have to come see mine now.” I smirked.

The rest of the night went much better than expected. I took tons of pictures with the guys since we had all been reunited and I also put them up in Instagram.

“Oh look!” I laughed showing Sarah some of the comments as we sat on the couch talking. “I’m being called a band whore again.”

“Why would anyone call you a whore?”

I looked up to see Austin’s eyes piercing through me. I didn’t know when he had sat down across from me or how long he had been there but I wished he would leave.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged turning back to my phone.

“I’m Austin by the way.” He stood up, leaning over to shake Sarah’s hand with a warm friendly smile on his face.

“Sarah.” She said shaking it back.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said sitting back down. I couldn’t help but notice the necklace he had hanging around his neck, the one I had bought him. “How’d you guys meet?”

“At work.” I said coldly.

“You have a job?” He asked and I couldn’t help but realize how surprised he sounded.

“Yeah, well I kind of need one to pay for my apartment…” I said still not looking up from my phone.

“You have an apartment?”

“Yeah, figured I’d give up the whole living in a box thing…” I said casually.

“I didn’t know you had moved back to California permanently.” Austin said defensively. “Would either of you like a drink?”

“No.” I said cutting in halfway through his sentence.

“No thank you.” Sarah said politely.

As he got up and walked towards the kitchen I told Sarah we should probably go. I quickly made my
goodbyes to everyone and left before having to see Austin again.

“I’m sorry if you felt awkward that entire time.” I said as we climbed in my car.

“No! It was fun! Your friends are really nice!” Sarah said with a laugh.

A knock at my window made me jump and let out a shriek. I rolled it down to see Austin leaning down.

“You’re not even going to say bye?”

“For what Austin?” I snapped. “I had absolutely no intentions of even speaking to you tonight.

“Raegan, you’re being so ridiculous. I just want to sort this out with you.”

I pushed open the car door so hard it caught him off guard and the side hit him in the dick. I climbed out of the car and walked around to the back opening the trunk.

“What are you doing?” He asked bouncing back from the pain.

“I found this stuff of yours.” I said taking out the box of his things and placing the box at his feet.

“Rae, I’m not taking that.”

“Then I’ll leave it in the fucking parking lot Austin.”

“Raegan, stop it.” He said taking step towards me.

“Do not touch me. Don’t you even dare.”

“Rae, why are you doing this?”

“You made it very clear that you don’t want to be with me Austin. Very, very clear.”

Tears were welling up into his eyes as he stood there and soon he was crying. It was hard for me to watch him like that and stay angry with him.

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked anywhere but at him, willing the tears not to fall.

“Raegan, please. Let me talk to you. Let’s go out for coffee or something.”

“I want my stuff from your house Austin.” I said looking up at the starry night sky.

“Reagan, please don’t leave me.” He begged coming over to me and grabbing my hands in his. “I’ll change, Rae. I promise. I’ll do anything. Just don’t leave me.”

“Austin, it’s not that simple! Don’t you get it? I just feel like you only want to be with me when it’s convenient for you. I don’t want to work things out with you just for you to toss me to the side again in a few months when life is going good for you.”

“Rae, please.” He said pulling me into his body and crying into my hair. “Please. I love you. Stop it. Just please stop it.”

Slowly I pushed myself away from him. “Austin,” I said trying to steady my voice. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

I turned, shut my trunk and headed for my car.

“Raegan…” His voice was so broken as he said it and I willed myself not to turn around. I knew if I took one look at him standing there with tears streaming down his face, his box of things next to his feet, I would have lost every point I was trying to make. “If you get in that fucking car and drive away then we’re done.”

Without giving it another thought, I climbed into the driver’s seat, shut the door, and put the car into drive.