I feel so dead. I've been staying with Matty on his bus and I haven't left since I attacked Mike. Abby has been working the tent alone. I can't face going outside and seeing him happy and possibly with Sasha. I helped her through the rubbish she was having from her ex. I can't see her with him. I know the second I walk out of that door Mike will find me and tell me a rubbish excuse and I'll buy it because I just want to be with him again. After over a year it's over, just like that. How can that ever be okay? Matty is being chill about everything. He doesn't encourage me to go out but he doesn't make me stay in either. He just wants to be there. "Someone's here, Kay'," Matty told me. I shifted in my seat on the sofa. I saw Matty walk back onto the bus with Alan, Austin, Vic, Jaime and Tony.
"Hi guys," I smiled. They all took turns hugging me. Everyone was sat down and Alan smiled at me warmly. I smiled back and he grinned.
"Yo! Why ain't I seen you in my hood? Where you at motherfucker?!" Alan asked.
"I was chillin in my tent, yeah. Then I hear some hoe has fucked my boy," I replied deadpan. Alan looked at me sadly. Austin coughed awkwardly. "Sorry," I muttered.
"Understandable," Austin nodded.
"How's Mike?" I sighed deeply.
"Kay'," Matty warned.
"No, I need to know,"
"Erm . . ." Vic muttered.
"Is he back with Sasha?" I asked seriously.
"No," Jaime said firmly.
"Then what?"
"He's in a bad way. He hasn't been on the bus that much. But no one seems to see him. He just kind of disappears then turns up in the early morning drunk and high," Vic explained.
"But then he'll stop thinking about what he's doing and just sit there for an hour at a time. He just sits there," Tony added.
"He isn't himself," Vic said.
"Neither am I," I countered.
"He misses you," Jaime said.
"I'm sorry," I breathed. "He shouldn't have cheated on me,"
"I don't think he did," Vic muttered quietly.
"What?" Matty exclaimed.
"He hasn't admitted to it. Which is weird, he'd tell me. But he hasn't. I don't think he hooked up, Kay'," Vic told me.
"Either way it's too late," I said.
"Tell her," Tony urged.
"What?" I asked weakly.
"I don't think you should," Alan tried.
"It might change her mind," Tony countered.
"Please tell me," I said.
"Mike spoke to me a few days before you broke up. He was going to . . . Christ," Vic said, not being able to finish.
"What?"
"He was looking at rings. He was going to wait until our last show, pull you out on stage . . ."
"And propose," Austin finished for him.
"Oh God!" I screamed breathlessly. I got up and ran to the door. I raised a hand to my mouth. I was shaking. I stumbled out of the bus and started running. I reached the last bus along and collapsed against it. He was going to ask me to marry him. I would have said yes. But now it's over. "Mike," I sobbed. I looked up and across the lot it saw someone looking at me. It was Mike. He wasn't smiling, just looking. He did look rough. He hadn't shaved and there was a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. As he looked at me he tipped the bottle back, taking a huge gulp. He swallowed and I saw him wince. He didn't move. I felt like he couldn't look away, he was frozen. I turned away and ran along the bus. Then I noticed it was Of Mice and Men's. I knocked the door loudly. They let me inside and I rushed to the sofa. Aaron looked at me and came to hug me. I smiled as he patted my back. "I'm sorry," I muttered. Then we heard loud knocks at the bus door. I ignored them and Phil went to answer it.
"Let me in! Open the fucking door!" Mike yelled with each knock. I sighed and shook my head. Phil looked at me for permission.
"No," I said flatly. The knocking continued. Then Mike started kicking at the door.
"If I don't let him in he'll break our fucking bus," Phil said. He went to let Mike in. I rushed into the back lounge and locked the door behind me. I heard Phil being pushed aside then Mike running in.
"Where is she? I saw her come in here," Mike rushed.
"Sorry, man," Phil said.
"She's in the back lounge," Aaron sighed. I sat down on the floor, my back against the door. I heard Mike bang the door a few times. I hugged my knees up to my chest.
"Open the door, Kayleigh!" he yelled.
"No," I muttered.
"Open this fucking door!" Mike said angrily.
"Or what?" I threatened.
"I'll break it down,"
"Then what? You'll hit me? Just like you used to hit Sasha," I mocked.
"Bullshit! I've never hit a girl in my life!"
"Don't lie," I said flatly.
"Please open the door," Mike begged, more calm now.
"I don't want to," I told him.
"I just want to see you. Let me see you, Kay'," he tried. I sighed deeply. I slowly unlocked the door. I opened it and Mike stood back to look at me. He covered his mouth with his hand. He used the other hand to stroke my cheek but I pulled away. "You're so beautiful," he said weakly.
"Don't," I snapped.
"I'm sorry. I haven't even done anything and I've never been more sorry in my life," Mike told me.
"You cheated on me, Mike. That's enough,"
"I never cheated on you. What do you need? A fucking lie detector. I never hooked up with Sasha. I could never do that to you,"
"After everything Sasha told me I can't believe you. I want to so badly, but I can't,"
"I love you, please,"
"Until I know the truth - the real truth - I can't do this," I explained. Then I went back into the back lounge. Mike never tried to stop me, he just let me close the door. I didn't even bother locking it. I heard him swear under his breath. I don't know what to think. Then I went over to the sofa, slumping down on it.

Notes

I hope you liked this! Please let me know what you think and I'll update again soon! :)