Second & Sebring.
Welcome To My Life.
*Aubrey's POV*
I was sitting in my room, alone. The cold, silver, beautiful blade glistening in the sunlight that came through the cracks of the blinds in my room. I was contemplating using the blade. It would make the pain go away for a few minutes, maybe a few hours. But what if i went deeper than just a couple hundred little cuts on my flesh? What if i actually went through with the suicide I'd been contemplating for years? The new tears started to flow freely down my face as the Simple Plan song rang through my Pandora. I started to sing along with them as they spoke the words of my life.
'Do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel out of place,
like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
that no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
you don't know what it's like,
to be like me.
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life'
I cried as the last lyrics finished the song off. I looked up at the door handle above me. It wasn't locked. But i didn't have any sense of motivation to get up & lock the door. It wasn't like my dad was home anyways. Now here's my thoughts. Do i write a suicide note? How do i go about the suicide? Pills, alcohol, & some deep, self cause bleeding? That seemed like a perfect plan to me. I put the blade down carefully as the tears were still freshly streaming from my face. I stood up & opened my door.
'There's no turning back now.'
I whispered to myself. But it wasn't like anyone was going to be able to hear me anyways. I was alone. & I'd always be alone if i didn't go through with this. I walked into the kitchen & opened the cabinet where i knew my father had some alcohol stashed. I picked a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then i opened the medicine cabinet & took out every bottle of pills that was stashed in there. I walked back into my room & closed the door. I popped the cap on the four bottles of pills & started taking three at a time. Washing each one down with a big gulp of whiskey.
'I'm ready to be happy.'
I whispered into the air. For a 16 year old girl, this was a sad story. But it was the story of my life, there was no changing it. I took off my sports shorts & started slicing away at my thighs. Once there was no room left on my legs, above & below the knee, i started to slice aimlessly at my wrists. I felt my eyes get heavy. I closed them & waited for the darkness to take over. I called Austin. That was the last thing i needed to do before i would be gone forever.
Austin ; Hello.
Me ; I love you.
I hung up quickly before he would panick. I just wanted to let him know that i loved him. Time for this precious darkness to take over my life.
I was sitting in my room, alone. The cold, silver, beautiful blade glistening in the sunlight that came through the cracks of the blinds in my room. I was contemplating using the blade. It would make the pain go away for a few minutes, maybe a few hours. But what if i went deeper than just a couple hundred little cuts on my flesh? What if i actually went through with the suicide I'd been contemplating for years? The new tears started to flow freely down my face as the Simple Plan song rang through my Pandora. I started to sing along with them as they spoke the words of my life.
'Do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel out of place,
like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
that no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
you don't know what it's like,
to be like me.
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life'
I cried as the last lyrics finished the song off. I looked up at the door handle above me. It wasn't locked. But i didn't have any sense of motivation to get up & lock the door. It wasn't like my dad was home anyways. Now here's my thoughts. Do i write a suicide note? How do i go about the suicide? Pills, alcohol, & some deep, self cause bleeding? That seemed like a perfect plan to me. I put the blade down carefully as the tears were still freshly streaming from my face. I stood up & opened my door.
'There's no turning back now.'
I whispered to myself. But it wasn't like anyone was going to be able to hear me anyways. I was alone. & I'd always be alone if i didn't go through with this. I walked into the kitchen & opened the cabinet where i knew my father had some alcohol stashed. I picked a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then i opened the medicine cabinet & took out every bottle of pills that was stashed in there. I walked back into my room & closed the door. I popped the cap on the four bottles of pills & started taking three at a time. Washing each one down with a big gulp of whiskey.
'I'm ready to be happy.'
I whispered into the air. For a 16 year old girl, this was a sad story. But it was the story of my life, there was no changing it. I took off my sports shorts & started slicing away at my thighs. Once there was no room left on my legs, above & below the knee, i started to slice aimlessly at my wrists. I felt my eyes get heavy. I closed them & waited for the darkness to take over. I called Austin. That was the last thing i needed to do before i would be gone forever.
Austin ; Hello.
Me ; I love you.
I hung up quickly before he would panick. I just wanted to let him know that i loved him. Time for this precious darkness to take over my life.
Thank you!
10/5/13