Too Soon

Who do you choose when two men both say they love you? I don't know. I can't choose. But I can't be with them both. On one hand there's Tony. Perfect Tony. He's so passionate and you can tell when his happy just by looking in his eyes. He was there for me when Austin was too busy sleeping with other women. He was interested in me. He wanted to be with me when Austin couldn't grow up enough to tell me how he felt. He's so sweet and honest and loving and romantic.
But then there's Austin. Austin is just... Austin. He's mine. He cheated on me. He would only be interested in what I was doing if it meant he got something out of it. He's angry. He has an issue with that. That's why he comes across as such a tough, threatening person while on stage. Part of him is that angry person that just wants to hurt everyone and everything. But then there's the other part of him. The part that I love. Austin, in his completely vulnerable state told me he loved me.
Before I decide who I want to be with there's something to consider. How can I choose Tony but lie to him? If I decide he is the one I want to be with I have to tell him about the kiss. I can't let him love me and him not know. But if I choose Austin I don't have to explain anything. I don't have anything I'm hiding. But surely that isn't a good enough reason to pick him.
I have to do the only thing that can help me decide. I dialled Scott's number and pressed call. It rang for a while until he answered.
"Make it quick, Gem'. I have a client in ten minutes." Scott said.
"You should like such a prostitute." I said dryly.
"Oh I am." he said easily. "Now what's up?"
"You sent Alan to talk to me." I grumbled.
"Oh yeah." he laughed nervously. "Did it go okay?"
"Yeah." I sighed. "I'm so confused though."
"About what?" he asked carefully.
"You know I'm seeing Tony? Well Tony has said that he loves me."
"Do you love him?"
"Well, yeah." I said.
"And you're seeing Tony?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry, I don't see the problem."
"The problem is that Austin had a major breakdown the other day and refused to come out of his bus. He'd drank a load and was all dirty and disgusting. I went there and made him get up and showered and made him eat." I explained.
"I know you don't like him anymore. But it's good you did that. From what Alan said you're the only one he'd listen to."
"That part isn't the problem."
"Oh." Scott muttered quietly.
"Austin told me he's in love with me. He said he wanted a kiss so I kissed him. We kissed again. I wanted to. What do I do?" I groaned.
"You're asking who you choose, right?"
"Yeah."
"I can't tell you that, Gem'." Scott replied. "I can't tell you who to be with. Do you love them both?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Let me try something." he said and I frowned. "Close your eyes."
"Excuse me?"
"Just close your eyes."
"Fine." I grumbled. I closed my eyes for a while.
"There's a guy and he's perfect. His smile makes me happy. His eyes make me happy. His body makes me tense. His mind makes me want to know more. I love him. What's his name?"
"Austin." I said immediately.
"There you go then." Scott told me.
"Wait!" I exclaimed. My eyes shot open and I looked around frantically to see if anyone had heard. "That's cheating." I told Scott.
How is it? When you close your eyes and think of the one person you love you thought of Austin."
"But I didn't want to."
"If you think you should pick Tony then pick him. Just make sure they both know where they stand."
"Hmm yeah." I mumbled.
"My guys here. Let me know how it all goes, Gem'."
"I will thanks." I replied. Scott hung up on me and I put my phone away.
Tony. That's it. Tony.
I walked towards Pierce The Veil's bus and knocked. Tony answered and grinned when he saw me. I walked inside and kissed him quick on the lips. I went to sit down and dragged him over with me.
"I need to tell you something." I said.
"Like what?" he asked.
"Something happened the other day." I nibbled my lip anxiously. "With Austin."
"He went crazy right? I heard he was late for his show because he couldn't pull himself together."
"He couldn't. I had to pull him together."
"What?" Tony frowned.
"I made him pull himself together. Then he kissed me."
"Did you kiss back?" Tony asked urgently. I nodded and waiting for him to shout or cry or do anything. But he didn't. He just stared at me. "Do you want to be with him?"
"No." I breathed. "I want to be with you, Tony."
"Are you sure?" he asked seriously.
"I don't want to lose you."
"I love you Gemma. I want you to understand how much I love you. If you don't love me back then it isn't going to work."
"I do, Tony. I promise." I smiled.
"Okay," he nodded. "Then I still want to be with you too." Tony said. He leaned in to kiss me. My lips met his and I kissed him back passionately. Tony broke away and looked down at the couch. "Call him."
"What?" I frowned.
"Austin. Call him and tell him."
"Now?" I asked weakly.
"Please. I can't do it with him thinking you're his again." he explained.
"Okay." I sighed. I got my phone out and dialled Austin's number. I chewed my bottom lip nervously as I waited.
"What?" Austin snapped down the line.
"It's Gemma." I told him.
"Not now." he panted.
"Please, I need to tell you something. I know you thought that maybe we could try things again. Part of me did too. But-"
"Gem'. Help-" he gasped. But then the line went dead.
"Austin?" I asked. I tried calling him back but couldn't get through. I sighed angrily and threw my phone down.
"What?" Tony asked.
"He hung up on me."
"It's okay. Try later." he said and kissed my temple. I nodded and leaned against him. Tony wrapped his arm around me and I sighed. I kissed his chest through his tank top.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you too." he replied easily.
We sat there for a while. I was occasionally kissing him. I was about to climb up onto his lap but the door was opened. Mike walked in with his eyes wide.
"What's up?" Tony asked.
"You'll never guess what I just saw!" he exclaimed. "All the medics were just running to Of Mice's bus. There's an ambulance on the way. Something's wrong with Austin's heart."
"What?" I gasped.
"Tino said they're taking him in. His heart nearly went." Mike explained.
"God." I muttered. I stood up and hurried out of the door.
"What are you doing?" Tony stopped me. "He'll be fine."
"He might not." I said reluctantly. "When I phoned him he asked for my help. I-" I couldn't finish. I shook my head and started for Of Mice's bus. I saw Austin being carried out on a stretcher and then taken into an ambulance. I couldn't get through. There were too many people. He could die and it'll be all my fault.

Notes

Hey! What did you think? This was the final chapter! Do you guy want a sequel? I've left it open for one. I do have some ideas brewing so expect a sequel update within a week or two. What will happen next? Will Gemma pick Tony or Austin? Will she go to England or stay in America? Have you enjoyed this? I have!

Thank you everyone who has supported me with this. If it's by reading, subscribing, voting or commenting. It means a lot to me. If you ever need anyone to talk to or you'd like to say hello message me on here or on my tumblr.

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- Kelci xx