I Can't Heal The Way I Feel About You

"Oli, can you come here?!" I yelled from the bathroom. I waited for a moment, but heard no footsteps. Oliver, get in here right now!" I immediately heard the sound of running from the kitchen. When Oli found me, I was hunched over the bathroom sink clinging to the counter.
"Oh my god, are you alright?" He rubbed my back as I tried not to puke.
"I-I don't know. I feel really sick, and I've had bad cramps for a few days. I just ignored them, but now I feel awful." I gripped the sink even tighter as a wave of nausea swept over me.
"Maybe you're pregnant, Charlotte."

Fear washed over me. I couldn't be pregnant. I wasn't even done with college, and there was no way I was going to drop out after getting this far.
"Shit...can you run down to the pharmacy and buy a few pregnancy tests?" I looked up at Oli lovingly.
"Sure. You're okay here by yourself?" He stroked my hair lovingly.
"Yeah, don't worry. I'll be fine. Be quick though." He squeezed my hand before leaving the bathroom.

I sat down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. I loved Oli and all, but I couldn't have a baby. It was too soon. I was too young. The only person I could think to call was Austin. I felt around for my phone on the counter and finally found it. He was at the top of my contact list. I hit call and waited anxiously for him to pick up.

"Hello?" He sounded tired.
"Oh shit, were you sleeping? I can call back later."
"No no it's totally fine. What's up?" I could hear him trying to wake up fully.
"I think I might be pregnant, and I'm freaking out. You're the only one I could think to call." I bit my lip nervously.
"Fuck...does Oli know?"
"Yeah, he's going out to get me a pregnancy test right now...I really don't want a baby right now, Austin. Besides, I'd be the worst mother."
"No, you wouldn't. Don't say that, Charlotte. And remember, no matter what happens, I'm here for you. What do you think you're going to do if you are pregnant?"
"I have no idea. I'd have to talk to Oli. I'd probably abort it just because I can't handle that right now. But if Oli really wanted to keep it, I'd do it. We'd figure it out somehow." I sighed, conflicted.
"Well if you did have the baby, I would be the cool uncle and babysit whenever you needed me." I could hear Austin smiling through the phone. He would make a good uncle.

Just then, I heard the door slam.
"Hey, I think Oli is back. I'll call you later with an update. Thanks for letting me vent, Austin."
"Anytime, girl. Good luck."
I hung up the phone and turned to see Oli standing in the doorway with FOUR pregnancy tests, all different brands.
"Is this enough? Did I do okay?" Oli looked nervous and confused.
"Yes, you did fine." I laughed and took the tests out of his hands. "Why don't you go get something to eat? I'll take one of these now. And calm down. It'll be fine." I kissed his cheek and sent him out the door.

As I unwrapped the first test, I got a nervous feeling in my stomach.
Okay, one line means not pregnant. Two lines means pregnant. You can do this.
I followed the instructions on the test and set it down face down on the counter to sit for two minutes, as recommended. The time seemed to pass in slow motion. Finally, after staring at my watch intensely, two minutes were up, and I carefully picked up the test off the counter. I was scared to turn it over, but slowly, I did.

Pregnant? No! I cannot be pregnant!
I started panicking a bit, but then decided to take another test. Maybe that one was wrong. But again, I had the same results. I continued with the 3rd and the 4th, but still the same. After I had finished the 4th test, I heard a knock on the door.
"Charlotte, did you take the tests?"
My voice shook. "Yes, I did."
"And what did they say?" Oliver's voice was calmer now.
"I'm pregnant. Oli, I'm pregnant."
He opened the door quietly and sat on the floor in front of me. I began to cry.

Oli kissed held my hand and kissed the back of my palm lightly.
"It'll all be okay, love. It'll all be okay. I am here for you no matter what. I promise."
He then picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. He proceeded to tuck me in and slide into bed next to me, wrapping his body around me.
"Just sleep for now, love. We'll deal with it later. I love you."
I smiled as I closed my eyes. "I love you too. More than anything in the world."

Notes