We got Oli out of the hospital as soon as possible, much to Austin's and my dismay. But Oli wanted to get back on tour. We had texted the rest of the guys who were extremely concerned, but we assured them that Oli was fine, and the tour would go as planned. We asked them to meet us with the bus outside of the hospital at 10am that morning. Of course, pulling a tour bus in front of a hospital caused a lot of commotion. As we exited the building we looked up to see a young girl, maybe 16, holding a large piece of paper up to her window out looking the hospital's main entrance that read "I love you Bring Me The Horizon!" I smiled up at her and her purple hair and pale face. Even though she was sick, she looked overjoyed to see the tour bus out front.
"Oli, look." I tapped his shoulder and pointed up at the girl. Oli made a heart with his hands which made the girl smile shyly and blush.

Once we were on the road, Austin and I went through the bus looking for any pills or pill containers lying around. We were happy to only find two and hoped there weren't anymore. We emptied the pills into the toilet and flushed them down. Austin held onto the containers.

****

When we arrived at the venue it was already noon. Luckily, Oli wasn't performing until 3, and Austin wasn't performing until 4:30. So we had some time to chill out. Unfortunately, the news had spread among Bring Me The Horizon fans that Oli had relapsed, and he was not looking forward to facing his fans.
"I feel like I let them down. They counted on me. They said I saved their lives, and now I've lost their trust."
"Don't worry, Oli. They all still love you. This won't change anything."

****

Sure enough, when Oli ran out on stage the crowd went wild as usual.
"I think most of you know already, but I had a bit of an accident recently. A lot of you already knew that I was once a fucking drug addict. And you all, you guys saved my life. I get a lot of mail thanking us for the lives we saved, but hell, you guys saved me. Recently I relapsed. And I feel like I let you all down. I want you to know that even if you have a few bumps along the road, you have not failed. I'm not going to let this bring me back to where I was a few years ago. Relapses happen. Keep on fighting guys. This one's called 'Chelsea Smile.'"

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.

It sits in silence, eats away at me.
It feeds like cancer. This guilt could fill a fucking sea.
Pulling teeth, wolves at my door.
Now falling and failing is all I know.

This disease is getting worse.
I counted my blessings, now I'll count this curse.
The only thing I really know: I can't sleep at night.
I'm buried and breathing in regret.
Yeah!
The only thing I really know: I can't sleep at night.
I'm buried and breathing in regret.

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.

I may look happy, but honestly dear,
the only way I'll really smile is if you cut me ear to ear.
I see the vultures, they watch me bleed.
They lick their lips, as all the shame spills out of me.

Repent! Repent! The end is nigh!
Repent! Repent! We're all gonna die!
Repent! Repent! These secrets will kill us!
So get on your knees, and pray for...

Repent! Repent! The end is nigh!
Repent! Repent! We're all gonna die!
Repent! Repent! These secrets will kill us!
So get on your knees, and pray for forgiveness!

We all carry these things inside that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors. They drown us out at sea.
I look up to the sky, there may be nothing there to see.
But if I don't believe in him, why would he believe in me?
Why would he believe in me?
Why would he believe in me?
Why would he believe in me?
Why would he believe in me?

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you will never know.
You will never know.
I know something you don't know.

As I had reassured Oli, his relapse only strengthened his relationship with his fans. All the tweets and messages and emails he received were even more supportive than ever. One guy even told him that Oli had helped him get passed his guilt when he relapsed, knowing that it was just a step in recovery. It all made me think about when I quit cutting and when I started eating again. It was one of the most difficult times in my life. I had quit cutting for months, and then on New Years Eve I relapsed. I just wanted to get through the year. I got to the very end and failed. I felt awful for weeks. When I quit cutting for good, I stopped eating. I felt like I had no control over anything, and I needed something. I still think about it sometimes. The fear foods, the calories, the constant want to exercise off my food. But I had made it. Alive. Unlike many people. And I was so thankful for it.

After the day was over, I curled up next to Oli in bed as he read tweets from his followers.
"I told you so," I whispered in his ear. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
"I should have listened to you. Also, I just want to thank you for saving my life. Actually. I'm so happy you found me when you did. I probably could have died if you had been there a few minutes later. I love you, Charlotte. I really do." He looked at me intently.

I sat up and kissed his lips softly. He pushed back, harder though. He moved down to my neck and then my collar bone. Within minutes, we were completely naked, and he was thrusting in and out of me slowly.
"I love you...so much," Oli said between grunts.
"I love you too, Oli."

I suppose it probably should have meant more to me seeing as he almost died, but I has just happy to have him inside of me. He suddenly grabbed my wrists and pinned them against the mattress above my head.
"Like to be in control, huh?"
He ignored me and began kissing and lightly biting my stomach. I squirmed with pleasure. I loved being dominated. Oli started thrusting faster and pushing on my wrists harder.
"Are you close, baby?"
"Yeah, " I managed to say. Within seconds I came. Hard. Oli finished soon after me. I flopped back on the bed, panting.
"Don't ever leave me, okay?" I whispered.
"I promise I never will." He smiled and was asleep in seconds.

Notes

suggestions? I'd like to keep this story going. let me know what you guys want