Too Young To Live This Way
All Of The Things That I Want To Say Just Aren't Coming Out Right
“Anything you want.”
“You choose for me.” I watched as he gave a small smile. He took an acoustic guitar off the wall and tuned it before sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He cleared his throat before strumming the strings.
“I’ll sing You and Me?” I knew this was the first song he’d ever sung and learnt to play on guitar. I nodded and watched as he continued to fiddle with the strings.
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I stared transfixed at him. He closed his eyes when he sang and he moved his head from side to side so often.
He opened his eyes when he sang the last line. He finished the long and placed the guitar almost lovingly back on the wall before turning to face me. I knelt in front of him and unzipped his jeans and pulling them to his ankles.
“What are you doing?”
“Showing you how much I love you.” And I proceeded to do that. When he tried to pull out of my mouth I reached around and held his arse in my hands. He grunted and shot into my mouth. I swallowed it greedily. It was bitter tasting.
We went to bed and finally slept in his bed. He was naked I was in pyjamas. He curled close to me and quietly sung in my ear as I was drifting off to sleep. My world had changed. For the better.
****
“I want to run an idea by you.” Austin announced at breakfast the next morning.
“What’s that?” I chewed my last bite of cereal and pushed the bowel to him. He lifted the bowel and drunk the milk before putting it in the sink. I wasn’t going to say it was weird because I used to do it with my brother.
“Matching tattoos.”
“Huh?”
“Matching tattoos. I know it’s only been a little over a week but I know we’re permanent. I want something that brands you as mine and me as yours.”
“What did you have in mind?” I wasn’t opposed to the idea of having a tattoo but he knew it couldn’t be on my legs, stomach or upper arms.
“I would have Promise? And you could have Forever with every single beat of my broken heart. Unless you don’t like that.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way round?”
“No. I want something you said marked on me.”
“Where would we have them?”
“I was thinking here.” He held his hand out, palm down, and pointed to the place between his thumb and forefinger. I opened my hand duplicate to his but he reached down and lifted my other hand up. “So when we hold hands it would be like a saying.”
“Okay.”
“Really? I mean these are permanent.”
“They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need.”
“You’re quoting Sleeping with Sirens to me?”
“Yes. When do you want them done?”
“Today.” I nodded and he smiled widely. I noticed his tongue peeked out when he was really happy. Like he was biting the tip of it between his teeth. “I know a tattooist that can come to us if you want?”
“Okay. Alan told me to tell you that he and the band would be over later today so you guys could work on the album.”
“When did he tell you that?”
“Your phone was ringing when I woke up so I answered it. Hope you don’t mind.”
“No, it’s fine.” He walked around the breakfast bar and cupped my face in his hands. I leant up and kissed him passionately. “You do know the rest of the band will be here when we have these done?”
“Can I draw something so you guys can all have the same tattoo?”
“Sounds like a good idea. Aaron hasn’t got any, but I bet you can convince him, angel.” Austin kissed me quickly before taking his phone off the counter to ring the rest of his band. I noticed his laptop was open and I clicked on the music files. I noted a cover of a song was there.
“She sits up high, surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she loves everyone.” I smiled as I noticed the date. He’d recorded this a week today. I remember that being the night I admitted my favourite song to him. I clicked into his pictures and saw a folder with my name on.
When I opened it I was amazed. He’d gone through my Facebook, Tumblr and had taken more when I wasn’t looking. There must have been at least a hundred here. The newest ones had been copied over to his computer today. Some were of me sleeping, there was some were I had cooked his dinner yesterday and me on his laptop yesterday.
“You’re almost like a stalker.”
“You’re not creeped out are you?”
“No.” I put his laptop back and hugged him around the waist. Even though there was no music he slowly started to sway. We were dancing when Phil and Aaron came in. Alan followed and then Tino. Austin stopped and kissed me on the cheek.
“Are you coming to watch?”
“No. I’ll let you boys get on with it. I need to phone my Mum anyway.” I turned away as they went upstairs to the studio. I rang my home phone and my Mum picked up immediately.
“You’re all over the internet, honey!”
“I know, Mum.”
“So, have you Austin done the deed?”
“Mum! I’ve only been with him like a week.”
“I was with your Father three days before we knew.”
“How did you know though?”
“You just will, dear.” I rolled my head as the door opened. A man stood in the doorway. He must have been in his late fifties or early sixties.
“Mum, there is some guy here. Can I call you back later?”
“Of course, honey.”
I hung the phone up and stood. The man stepped further inside and that was when I realised the connection.
“You must be Austin’s dad.”
“Yes. You must be Taylor. Austin has told me so much about you.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. He seems very happy with you here. The happiest I think since his mother died.” A brief wave of sadness enveloped the man and I felt guilty until he smiled at me.
“He’s up in the studio.” I watched as he smiled and climbed up the stairs, quite quickly for a man in his older time. I was sitting on the sofa with Austin’s laptop when they came downstairs. Austin bent over and kissed me on my cheek before going to the kitchen.
A glass of orange juice was placed in front of me. I smiled at him and sipped the cool drink. He was drinking Monster again and I frowned at him.
“That’s not any good for your heart.”
“The bubbles help my sore throat.”
“Then drink Coke or something.”
“I’ll be fine, angel.” Austin sat beside me and wrapped my arm around my shoulder and kissed behind my ear.
“Promise?”
“Forever with every beat of my broken heart.”
“Here.” I turned to computer screen to him and he grinned. It was the tattoo I had designed for everyone to get. It was their logo but it was created by all of their names. He turned my head and kissed me before shouting the rest over.
Aaron was a bit sceptical about it but I convinced him that it would be something to remind him forever of his time with his band. I watched as the tattooist set up. It turned out to be Austin’s dad. Alan had his first, then Austin, Phil, Tino and lastly Aaron. Aaron didn’t make much of a fuss as he ran his hand over the new ink.
“You ready, angel?”
“Yes.” I sat on the chair that Aaron has just vacated and watched as a stencil was put on my skin. It started at the corner of my thumb and finished halfway down my wrist. Austin sat on the table next to me and squeezed my other hand. It burnt. It didn’t really hurt.
I didn’t look at mine until Austin had his on his hand. He took my hand in his newly tattooed one and I look down. The tattoos flowed together perfectly. I hugged him and then his dad. Austin’s dad didn’t stay long and the rest of the band had headed upstairs to the studio.
Austin took a picture of our hands and I realised the video camera was on the table. He’d filmed me getting this done. I’d decided that I was going to let him film us but if it ever got out then I would sue him.
“I’m ready.” I whispered in his ear and he squeezed me tight around the waist. “I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. If…if you want…to film it…then that’s okay.” I hid my face in his chest as I whispered the last part to him.
“Not our first time. Before the end of the week though I promise I will have you and me on tape.” He husked in my ear and kissed down my neck. “Tonight will be perfect for you.”
“I’m scared.” I admitted. I was nervous about having sex for the first time because I knew it was going to hurt. I knew Austin would try and make it more bearable for me though.
“You don’t need to be. It will hurt for a little while but then it’s all over. Promise.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.” Austin repeated to me and I swung my arms around his neck. A flash went off and turned to see Alan on the stairs with a camera. He waved and I flushed before hiding my face again.
“Taylor’s losing her cherry!” Alan grinned as he bounded down the stairs and stood behind me.
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me join?"
“Fuck off, Alan.” Austin growled at his friend and I smiled.
“Spoilsports.”
“You choose for me.” I watched as he gave a small smile. He took an acoustic guitar off the wall and tuned it before sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He cleared his throat before strumming the strings.
“I’ll sing You and Me?” I knew this was the first song he’d ever sung and learnt to play on guitar. I nodded and watched as he continued to fiddle with the strings.
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I stared transfixed at him. He closed his eyes when he sang and he moved his head from side to side so often.
He opened his eyes when he sang the last line. He finished the long and placed the guitar almost lovingly back on the wall before turning to face me. I knelt in front of him and unzipped his jeans and pulling them to his ankles.
“What are you doing?”
“Showing you how much I love you.” And I proceeded to do that. When he tried to pull out of my mouth I reached around and held his arse in my hands. He grunted and shot into my mouth. I swallowed it greedily. It was bitter tasting.
We went to bed and finally slept in his bed. He was naked I was in pyjamas. He curled close to me and quietly sung in my ear as I was drifting off to sleep. My world had changed. For the better.
****
“I want to run an idea by you.” Austin announced at breakfast the next morning.
“What’s that?” I chewed my last bite of cereal and pushed the bowel to him. He lifted the bowel and drunk the milk before putting it in the sink. I wasn’t going to say it was weird because I used to do it with my brother.
“Matching tattoos.”
“Huh?”
“Matching tattoos. I know it’s only been a little over a week but I know we’re permanent. I want something that brands you as mine and me as yours.”
“What did you have in mind?” I wasn’t opposed to the idea of having a tattoo but he knew it couldn’t be on my legs, stomach or upper arms.
“I would have Promise? And you could have Forever with every single beat of my broken heart. Unless you don’t like that.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way round?”
“No. I want something you said marked on me.”
“Where would we have them?”
“I was thinking here.” He held his hand out, palm down, and pointed to the place between his thumb and forefinger. I opened my hand duplicate to his but he reached down and lifted my other hand up. “So when we hold hands it would be like a saying.”
“Okay.”
“Really? I mean these are permanent.”
“They say that love is forever, your forever is all that I need.”
“You’re quoting Sleeping with Sirens to me?”
“Yes. When do you want them done?”
“Today.” I nodded and he smiled widely. I noticed his tongue peeked out when he was really happy. Like he was biting the tip of it between his teeth. “I know a tattooist that can come to us if you want?”
“Okay. Alan told me to tell you that he and the band would be over later today so you guys could work on the album.”
“When did he tell you that?”
“Your phone was ringing when I woke up so I answered it. Hope you don’t mind.”
“No, it’s fine.” He walked around the breakfast bar and cupped my face in his hands. I leant up and kissed him passionately. “You do know the rest of the band will be here when we have these done?”
“Can I draw something so you guys can all have the same tattoo?”
“Sounds like a good idea. Aaron hasn’t got any, but I bet you can convince him, angel.” Austin kissed me quickly before taking his phone off the counter to ring the rest of his band. I noticed his laptop was open and I clicked on the music files. I noted a cover of a song was there.
“She sits up high, surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she loves everyone.” I smiled as I noticed the date. He’d recorded this a week today. I remember that being the night I admitted my favourite song to him. I clicked into his pictures and saw a folder with my name on.
When I opened it I was amazed. He’d gone through my Facebook, Tumblr and had taken more when I wasn’t looking. There must have been at least a hundred here. The newest ones had been copied over to his computer today. Some were of me sleeping, there was some were I had cooked his dinner yesterday and me on his laptop yesterday.
“You’re almost like a stalker.”
“You’re not creeped out are you?”
“No.” I put his laptop back and hugged him around the waist. Even though there was no music he slowly started to sway. We were dancing when Phil and Aaron came in. Alan followed and then Tino. Austin stopped and kissed me on the cheek.
“Are you coming to watch?”
“No. I’ll let you boys get on with it. I need to phone my Mum anyway.” I turned away as they went upstairs to the studio. I rang my home phone and my Mum picked up immediately.
“You’re all over the internet, honey!”
“I know, Mum.”
“So, have you Austin done the deed?”
“Mum! I’ve only been with him like a week.”
“I was with your Father three days before we knew.”
“How did you know though?”
“You just will, dear.” I rolled my head as the door opened. A man stood in the doorway. He must have been in his late fifties or early sixties.
“Mum, there is some guy here. Can I call you back later?”
“Of course, honey.”
I hung the phone up and stood. The man stepped further inside and that was when I realised the connection.
“You must be Austin’s dad.”
“Yes. You must be Taylor. Austin has told me so much about you.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. He seems very happy with you here. The happiest I think since his mother died.” A brief wave of sadness enveloped the man and I felt guilty until he smiled at me.
“He’s up in the studio.” I watched as he smiled and climbed up the stairs, quite quickly for a man in his older time. I was sitting on the sofa with Austin’s laptop when they came downstairs. Austin bent over and kissed me on my cheek before going to the kitchen.
A glass of orange juice was placed in front of me. I smiled at him and sipped the cool drink. He was drinking Monster again and I frowned at him.
“That’s not any good for your heart.”
“The bubbles help my sore throat.”
“Then drink Coke or something.”
“I’ll be fine, angel.” Austin sat beside me and wrapped my arm around my shoulder and kissed behind my ear.
“Promise?”
“Forever with every beat of my broken heart.”
“Here.” I turned to computer screen to him and he grinned. It was the tattoo I had designed for everyone to get. It was their logo but it was created by all of their names. He turned my head and kissed me before shouting the rest over.
Aaron was a bit sceptical about it but I convinced him that it would be something to remind him forever of his time with his band. I watched as the tattooist set up. It turned out to be Austin’s dad. Alan had his first, then Austin, Phil, Tino and lastly Aaron. Aaron didn’t make much of a fuss as he ran his hand over the new ink.
“You ready, angel?”
“Yes.” I sat on the chair that Aaron has just vacated and watched as a stencil was put on my skin. It started at the corner of my thumb and finished halfway down my wrist. Austin sat on the table next to me and squeezed my other hand. It burnt. It didn’t really hurt.
I didn’t look at mine until Austin had his on his hand. He took my hand in his newly tattooed one and I look down. The tattoos flowed together perfectly. I hugged him and then his dad. Austin’s dad didn’t stay long and the rest of the band had headed upstairs to the studio.
Austin took a picture of our hands and I realised the video camera was on the table. He’d filmed me getting this done. I’d decided that I was going to let him film us but if it ever got out then I would sue him.
“I’m ready.” I whispered in his ear and he squeezed me tight around the waist. “I want to be with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. If…if you want…to film it…then that’s okay.” I hid my face in his chest as I whispered the last part to him.
“Not our first time. Before the end of the week though I promise I will have you and me on tape.” He husked in my ear and kissed down my neck. “Tonight will be perfect for you.”
“I’m scared.” I admitted. I was nervous about having sex for the first time because I knew it was going to hurt. I knew Austin would try and make it more bearable for me though.
“You don’t need to be. It will hurt for a little while but then it’s all over. Promise.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.” Austin repeated to me and I swung my arms around his neck. A flash went off and turned to see Alan on the stairs with a camera. He waved and I flushed before hiding my face again.
“Taylor’s losing her cherry!” Alan grinned as he bounded down the stairs and stood behind me.
“Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me join?"
“Fuck off, Alan.” Austin growled at his friend and I smiled.
“Spoilsports.”
Notes
Title Cred: LifehouseI used this song because it is the first song that Austin ever learnt to play on guitar and sing :)
Am I doing good? Ahh, I hope you like it and there isn't that much porn see. This book is gonna be about 20 chapters and then I was thinking about going to another book like a sequal would that be good?
What is the name of your sequel babycakes?!?! I. MUST. READ. MORE!
10/28/16