For that moment, I was drowning in love. It was beautiful and something I never wanted to let go of. Andy made me feel loved. He made me feel worthy, happy, just simply loved.

I was on Cloud 9 if you may say. The only problem? The after math.

I had slept with my best friend. I used him. I was selfish and I probably screwed up one of the tightest friendships I had.

So as I lay tangled in his arms, I panic. What the hell did we do? what the hell did I do? What am I going to do? Sure, I love Andy, but I don’t think it’ll ever be in that way.

Not as bad as I did when I fell for Kellin or when I found out I was pregnant.

Sure, I didn’t exactly relish the idea of being pregnant, of having to give up my band and the touring life to raise a screaming kid.

But I was happy. I was so happy. The thought of being a mother made my heart leap and brought a smile on my face.

Especially when I saw how happy Kellin was. We were going to raise a family.

And because of me, we were stripped of that joy.

“What did I do?” I whined to myself as I sat up and quietly untangled myself from his embrace.

I quietly grabbed my clothes and slipped them all back on before sneaking down the stairs and out the house.

I ran. I ran for my life. I don’t know where I plan on going, but it had to be away from Andy. Away from his house. I needed to get away!

I can’t do this anymore. I lost my baby. I lost my relationship. I lost my sanity.

There's no point of living if the only thing I do is destroy everything I love.

Notes

So, it's super short, I know -_- but at least we finally got inside that little complicated head of hers.