I sat there in the kitchen for a while. When the guys left to play their set Austin and Alan stil weren't talking. But Phil and Tino said bye, maybe that means things are starting to get better? I just want things to go back to the way they were. Maybe if I got out of these sweats and looked decent things would be just a little better. I've been in these sweats for three days. I look like a tired depressed mess. After my shower I blow dried my hair and straightened it, then did my makeup. I chose a red lipstick and walked out in my towel to pick some clothes knowing the guys weren't here. "Hey there." Holy shit someone was here! I looked up and saw Austin sitting in the kitchen.

"Sorry, I didn't think you guys would be back yet..." Was in the bathroom longer than I thought?

"Yeah, it just ended the guys went out to lunch. I just wanted to talk to you I guess." I told him to wait a second and picked out a pair of jeans and a black and red slightly see through top with a bandeau underneath with my red toms. When I stepped out of the bathroom Austin had moved to the back lounge and was sitting on the couch,

"Hey." I gave him a slight smile and sat down on the couch next to him, and he slid away to the other end. So much for things going back to normal. He wasn't even looking at me. It was a few seconds before he spoke,

"I miss you. I miss having you near me, I miss everything about you. About us. Today on stage all I could think about was when you tried to push me out of your bunk but i pulled you down we me...I miss you so much." What do I say? There's so much I want to say but I don't know what I want to say, and how to say it. So i reached for his hand and he didn't pull away this time. He held onto my hand tight. Maybe I should just tell him everything. Start from the beginning.

"Austin. You know how when we first started going out? Well I talked to Alan about it, and he said that you care about me more than anything and I believed it. Until one day he let it slip that he loved me. So I talked to Vic about it and all he told me was that you care about me a lot and so does Alan, but that one of you has a lot stronger feelings for me. And that day that I kissed Alan...He had told em that the stars that you put on the ceiling of my bunk were his idea. And he said all this stuff and he kissed me and next thing I know I was kissing him back. I feel awful about it. I'm sorry. Because I lost the guy I love. There I said it. I love you, I love you so much. I hate being away from you. These past few days have been horrible. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

By the time that I had finished pouring my heart out I was in tears and yet again I wasn't in Austin's arms. But then I felt the weight of the couch shift and I was in Austin arms. When I stopped crying he tilted my head up and wiped away my tears then kissed me on the forehead. I felt so much better just being in his arms made everything feel better. Are we back together now? "Are you we back together? Or is this just nothing?" He pulled away and looked into my eyes,

"I don't know what this is." And then he got up and left. Just left.

After a few minutes I left and went to go watch All Time Low play. I just need to clear my head and feel better. When I got to the stage the guys were still setting up and nobody was there yet so Alex saw me, "Hey! What are you doing out here alone?" Oh, he didn't know what happened. He leaned down and pulled me onto the stage.

"Thanks. And uh, me and Austin broke up...I messed up and kissed Alan and now I'm here alone." I turned and started to set up the mics. I felt like I should help instead of just standing around. Alex turned me back around and hugged me.

"Don't worry. You'll be okay." I smiled up at him and helped them finish setting up. Rian came over to me asking if I was okay and I just nodded yes. I watched the show from backstage. When Therapy came on I sang it from the top of my lungs and when it was over I could feel myself about to cry but I stopped the tears from coming. After the set was over I hung out with ATL for a bit then decided to watch some other sets. I just want to be alone right now, I just want to get lost in the crowd. I watched the Mayday Parade set and sang every song that came on and forgot about all of my problems. That is until I felt someone grab my hand, it was Alan. I pulled my hand away and turned back towards the stage, it was the last song, and I sang along. When the set was over I turned and started walking away.

"Ciara, I just want to talk." I stopped turned around to face him. He just wanted to talk? No.

"Do you remember what happened last time we "just talked"? I lost the love of my life. So no, we aren't going to talk. I just. I need to be alone. And talking to you makes me not alone. Just give me some space." Alan nodded and as I walked away I could feel him watching me leave.

Notes

Do you guys think Ciara really loves Austin?

TITLE CREDIT- Bullet Proof Love- Pierce The Veil