I kept my eyes shut the next morning, hoping that maybe if I just never opened them, this whole situation would disappear. What was I thinking? I slept with my sister’s boyfriend. That’s got to be the worst thing that I could have ever done to Jane. My own sister.

“This shouldn’t have happened,” I spoke softly. I knew Alan was awake beside me. I could hear him texting away on his cell phone. How could he just be laying there, still naked, like this was normal? Because you’re in love, my mind told me. I quickly shook my head and sighed. “This never happened.”

“Oh,” Alan breathed out. He set his phone down and turned to look at me. I quickly turned away. His eyes were my weakness, and if I looked into them now I would be roped back in.

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” I closed my eyes again, this time a lot tighter. Maybe if I tuned everything out I could open my eyes and find myself back in my bed. Maybe if I thought about it hard enough, I could actually convince myself that this had never happened.

“I don’t want to,” he said.

“Huh?”

“I don’t want to forget about this. Last night was incredible, Addie. I..lov-“

“Alan,” I stopped him immediately. Sleeping with him was one thing, but hearing him admit to loving me or anything about me was too far. “Don’t you dare cross that line. Don’t you realize what we’ve done?”

I finally turned to face Alan. He looked down at his hands. His body was propped up on his right elbow – facing me. He just shrugged his left shoulder and continued to stare down at his hands. I wanted him to look at me – I needed him to see how serious I was. But then again, I was glad he didn’t. In his eyes, nothing mattered, and I would get so lost in them that I would lose myself – and everything along with it. Including my sister.

“Jane is my sister, Alan. My baby sister. And I just slept with her boyfriend,” I was talking more to myself in my last statement. “My own fucking sister.”

“I’ll leave her,” he said suddenly. His voice was strong and I could feel his eyes burning into my skull as he stared at me, waiting for me to look into his eyes. He knew that his gaze mesmerized me and he was hoping that I would look into his eyes and agree.

“No, you can’t do that,” I shook my head. “Do you realize how crushed she would be if we tell her that you’re leaving her for me? I just got back into the country and I have already managed to make her boyfriend cheat on her.”

“We’ll tell her everything – England, our time together…” Alan was getting excited now. “She’ll understand, I’m sure.”

“No, she won’t. This will make absolutely no sense to her. This all so fucked up,” I groaned and gently tugged at my hair. “This stops. Now. I mean it. We need to forget about us and just get over it. You’re with Jane and I’m with…I’m focusing on work.”

Forgetting about us would surely be a lot harder for me than it would be for him. Alan would have Jane and his band to preoccupy his thoughts where all I had was myself and work. But before I would have work to distract me, I had an entire month left of watching Jane and Alan go about their lives.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and I nearly jumped out of my skin. My first thought as to who it would be was Jane. If Jane was on the other side of that door, we were done for. I would ruin their relationship and then I would also lose Jane as a sister. Jane wasn’t one to date too often, and she had only had one serious boyfriend before. Destroying her second serious relationship would be irreparable damage to our relationship as sisters.

“It’s Austin.” The voice through the door said. I immediately relaxed, but only slightly. This was still just as bad. “Addie, Natalie and I are ready to head out to lunch when you are.”

I froze. “He knows I’m here?” I hissed in a low voice.

Alan shrugged his shoulders with a guilty look on his face. “He’s my best friend.”

“Jesus, Alan,” I groaned and rolled over, taking the sheets with me. I slid off the side of the bed and began to gather my clothes. I slipped into the bathroom so I could change. As I changed and fixed myself up a bit, I continued to beat myself up over this entire situation.

I was never this type of girl. Sure, I had a number under my belt, but never had I been someone’s mistress – well, as far as I knew, at least. And never would I ever sleep with my sister’s boyfriend. But I did it anyway. I looked in the mirror, expecting to see an entirely different person staring back at me. I still looked like myself…so why on Earth was I acting this way?

Because it was Alan, here. This wasn’t just some random guy that my sister had started dating…it was Alan Ashby. The most beautiful man and human being to have ever graced my existence. And I just so happened to be madly in love with him.

No. You need to stop using the ‘L’ word. You do not love Alan, he’s Jane’s boyfriend. You’re not allowed to love him.

I splashed some water onto my face before exiting the bathroom. Alan was no longer in the bedroom and his bed was perfectly made – it didn’t even look slept in at all. Maybe we could cover our tracks and pretend this never happened.

I walked out of the room and saw Alan and Austin sitting on the couch chatting away. I felt like I was doing the walk of shame – wearing the same clothes form the night before with tangled, sex hair and smeared make up. As soon as Austin saw me, his expression changed and made me feel even worse. He looked disappointed, but somehow understanding.

“Ready?”

I looked around the room, but didn’t spot Austin’s girlfriend. “Where’s Natalie?” I asked.

“We have to go pick her up. We can swing by your house so you can shower and get changed,” Austin said as he stood up. “Bye, dude.”

Alan waved him off as Austin headed towards the door. He opened it up and looked over to me, but looked away when he saw Alan heading over to me. Austin slipped outside to give us some privacy.

“Don’t say anything to Jane, okay?” Alan said.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “You don’t need to tell me that, Alan.”

“I’ll take care of this,” he said with a serious expression.

He handed me my purse and walked away, leaving me to see myself out. As I exited the house and slipped into Austin’s car, I couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by that. I’ll take care of it. Was he planning on telling her himself? No matter who told her, this was not going to end well.

Jane was fast asleep when we got back to my house. Austin sat on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV while I quickly got ready to go out to lunch. Things were so natural with Austin – he felt like the kind of friend that would quickly become like a brother to you. I was expecting him to lecture me about sleeping with Alan, but then again, I suppose he should save the lecturing for Alan since he didn’t really know me well enough to lecture me.

I let my thick waves dry naturally after the shower, adding a single braid to one side of my part before pulling it back and securing it with a pearl bobby-pin. I slipped on a comfortable dress that was white on the top with an olive green flare at the bottom. I pulled on my favorite brown sandals and settled for some pearled hoops to match the pin in my hair. I quickly switched my belongings from my purse from the night before to my brown bag and walked out the door. I pulled my phone off of the charger that was in the living room. Even though it was sitting for a good twenty minutes it was still close to dying.

We swung by Natalie’s house and I immediately felt bad for sitting in the front seat. She insisted that it was fine, but I could see that the two of them really wanted to greet each other, but couldn’t because she was in the backseat. I tried to get a good look at her from the side mirror, but all I could really catch a glimpse of was her long, black hair that looked like silk in the sunlight and her natural light-brown skin.

We pulled up to a small restaurant that seemed to only be franchise-owned. Nothing big-name. All the building said on it was “TACO SHOP” in big, bold letters. Austin held the door open for the two of us and I followed Natalie as she picked a booth in the back. She slid in on one side and I went on the other while Austin squeezed in beside her.

“Hey, babe,” he said with a large smile as he finally got to greet her. He leaned down and I watched as her big, black eyelashes fluttered and her eyes shut as Austin reached down and pressed their smiles together in a gentle, appropriate kiss. She let out a small giggle as Austin mumbled something against her lips. She pressed them together again and then turned her attention back over to the table. She looked up at me but I kept my gaze on the menu in front of me – giving her a chance to take in my features just as I had done to her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Addie,” Natalie said with a slight smile. I looked up and my eyes met her green, striking orbs. Her eyes were large and perfectly shaped – her eyeliner and eyelashes were bold while her eyeshadow was drastic and shimery. She looked like a super-model and I was left nearly breathless in her presence.

Her clothing was casual though, and that made me feel a lot better. She was wearing a black, sheer top with a black spaghetti strap underneath. I noticed earlier that she was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and some black and white vans. She had a few tattoos on her wrist and a couple of piercings that I could see as well.

She was another rock star girlfriend and I was just plainer than a piece of white bread with my makeup-free face, blonde hair, and white skin.

“So, we need to talk,” Austin said. “About what happened last night.”

Natalie bit her lip and gave me a sad look before looking down at her menu entirely.

“You told her?” I asked in disbelief.

He just shrugged. “She’s my girlfriend,” he explained. It reminded me of Alan’s excuse earlier. “What were you thinking, Ad?”

“Clearly, I wasn’t,” I said simply as I looked down at the menu once again. I looked over the pictures and my stomach began to growl. There wasn’t much Mexican food like this in England, and I was glad to finally be reunited with the greasy, spicy goodness of a taco or maybe an enchilada. My mind got side-tracked as I continued to stare at the menu, practically drooling over the display pictures.

“Hola, what can I get for you to drink?” the waiter asked.

“Ice tea,” Natalie said with a smile.

“Water is fine,” Austin explained.

“Hola, ¿puedo tomar un café y un agua? Gracias.” I smiled warmly at the waitress and she seemed to reciprocate my grin, thankful to have given my order in Spanish. She replied by telling that she would be right back with our drinks and I turned to look at Natalie and Austin who were giving me shocked expressions.

“What did you order?” Natalie asked.

“A cup of coffee and a water.”

“How do you know Spanish? You’re whiter than paper,” Austin laughed.

“Austin!” Natalie exclaimed, gently smacking his arm. “Be nice!”

I laughed a bit. “It’s okay,” I said. “And I lived in Europe for a little over a year. I did my fair share of studying in Spain. Plus I’ve taken a lot of language classes.”

“I forgot that you’re like a genius or something,” Austin chuckled. “So, back to what I was saying-“

“Can’t you leave her alone? I want to get to know her. Don’t scare away my only chance at having a girl friend,” Natalie interrupted.

“But, babe…You have Anouk, Jennifer, and Amanda!”

I wondered why he left out my sister’s name while mentioning the other band members’ girlfriends/wives/fiancées.

“I don’t get along with them, you know that,” Natalie frowned a bit. “Addie’s different though and I want to get to know her. Plus, I hate drama and I don’t like hearing about it.” She turned to look at me and gave me an apologetic smile. “No offense.”

“None taken. I hate drama, too,” I admitted. “It’s a shocker that I’m involved in it at all since I normally don’t have much of a life outside of working and school.”

“Same here!” Natalie exclaimed happily. “Except for the school part. Kind of. Well, my job is my school.”

I gave her a confused look. “Like work study?” I asked, tilting my head to the side just a bit.

“I’m in beauty school. So I have to work a certain amount of hours for credits toward graduation. I make my living off of tips and this guy,” Natalie explained while smiling widely. She gripped onto Austin’s arm when she mentioned him. He gave her a proud smile and kissed her nose very gently.

“How long have you guys been together?” I asked. Certainly to be that open about Austin supporting her financially, they had to have been together for quite some time.

“It’ll be a year and a half this October,” Austin said.

I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to congratulate them on surviving such a long term together, but I was too jealous to do anything but smile. It killed me to see how in love they were. I was never the jealous type – but now I had Alan to thank for that. This whole situation with him and my feelings for him were changing everything that I used to know about myself. Not all them for the best. For example, last night’s events.

“So,” Natalie said quickly to break the silence. “Where do you work, Addie?”

I smiled a bit; it was an immediate reaction when I talked about my job. I loved my job – it was my passion and my dream. “I work for a publishing company in LA. I used to work for Penguin Books in England, but they transferred me to another branch of their company so I could come back home.”

“What do you do there?”

“Well, for now I’m just going to be an assistant, really. Running around, contacting people, taking phone calls, helping with overflow that the editors can’t handle. I hope to someday work my way up to editor, though. Maybe even editor in chief.” I always loved literature and being around it for the rest of my life brought me a happiness that nothing else – nobody else – had ever made me feel.

“You could probably be CEO,” Austin commented as he pointed a finger to me with a smile. “I remember when Alan first brought you up to our penthouse in England and…oh…” Austin stopped talking when he realized that England was supposed to be a strictly no mentioning list on the topic of conversation. “Sorry…” he mumbled, bowing his head with a guilty, lop-sided smile.

“It’s okay,” I said softly while averting my gaze away from them.

The waitress came back with our drinks and then we all ordered our food. After Austin had mentioned England my appetite had gone away just a bit, so I settled on some cheese enchiladas instead of the monster platter I was originally looking at.

Conversation fell short while we ate, but it wasn’t anything too uncomfortable. Only a bit awkward because I still hardly knew the two of them. Natalie and Austin would giggle every now and then to each other or say a few words, but for the most part I just remained silent.

“Okay, I can’t take it anymore,” Natalie said, breaking the silence. “You need to figure your shit out.”

I looked up from my half-eaten food and eye-balled her curiously. She was staring right at me with annoyance in her eyes. “Excuse me?” I asked, somewhat angered at her outburst.

“I can feel your guilt and sadness from over here. You fucked Alan while he’s dating your sister, we get it. There’s nothing you can do about it right now, so why let it ruin your day?”

I don’t know what came over me, but I started laughing hysterically. Austin jumped at my laughs and Natalie just stared at me as if I was a unicorn. Soon, my laugh became infectious and Natalie joined in, the two of us laughing until we couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t understand,” Austin said as he frowned. He pushed his plate in front of him, indicating that he was done with his food.

Our laughing slowed down to just small giggles as we each reached for our drinks. We took a sip and once we were finished, we started to laugh again. Nothing was funny, really, but this was our way of declaring our friendship. Something about Natalie was different, and I could see how she didn’t get along with the rest of the girls like Jane did. They weren’t as bubbly or outgoing, they were too adult-like, and we just wanted to have fun.

Austin paid for the three of us and I insisted that I cover the tip, which surprisingly, he agreed to. I left a ten dollar tip for the waitress since we had been so noisy and we all walked out of the restaurant. This time I climbed into the backseat so Natalie could have her time with Austin in the front seat.

“Hey,” I said once we started heading back toward my house. “How come, earlier, when you mentioned the other girls you didn’t include Jane?”

Natalie and Austin each tensed up. Austin shot a worried glance over to Natalie who shook her head.

“Um, well,” Austin said slowly. “Natalie and Jane don’t get along very well…” his voice trailed off and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was talking about.

“You guys want to come in for a while? We can sit around in the backyard and have a few drinks,” I offered as we pulled up to the house. I looked around and didn’t see Jane’s car anywhere in sight. “It looks like Jane’s not home."

“Sure!” Natalie said happily as she quickly got out of the car.

We all headed up the steps and I showed Natalie around the house a bit since she had never been inside. I showed the two of them to the backyard and they took a seat at the table while I headed into the kitchen to dig around for alcohol to make some drinks for us all. Knowing Jane, she would have a full cabinet of liquor…I just had to find it.

I finally found the liquor in the cabinet that was beside the fridge – right where a normal person would have put cups or plates since it was in the most convenient location; but of course, Jane had to have her alcohol in an easy-to-reach space. I placed three glasses onto the tray that I found along with a few bottles of rum and vodka. I balanced the tray with one arm and reached into the fridge with the other, looking for the fruit juice that I had seen in there earlier.

I heard the front door slam along with a few yells and whimpers. The sound startled me and I jumped, causing one of the empty glasses to fall from the tray and shatter onto the floor. I quickly set down the tray and began to search for a broom.

I got down on my hands and knees and picked up the larger pieces as I tried to figure out what the hell just happened. Surely it was Jane who had stormed into the house, but I was unsure of what was wrong. Maybe her and Alan got in a fight?

I stopped what I was doing as a thought washed over me. What if Alan had broken up with Jane? Or worse, told her about us? Maybe that was why she was angry. I stood up just as I heard the front door swing open and hit the wall.

“Jane!” I heard Alan scream the house.

I began to hyper-ventilate, afraid of what was happening and feeling horrible for having an audience in the backyard. I also felt horrible because Natalie and Jane apparently didn’t get along and now Jane was home. And when Jane is angry, she takes out her anger on everybody for any reason. She’s the kind of person who keeps her grudges buried deep down, saving them for the day she’s on a rampage – then she brings up old drama and makes everything way worse than it already is.

A confused and frantic Alan entered the kitchen. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were wide with what looked like fear. I tried to stand up quickly and in the process my finger slipped over an edge of broken glass that was in my hand. I hissed and dropped the glass into the sink, quickly turning on the faucet and running my finger under the water as the blood slipped through the cut.

Alan didn’t even ask me if I was okay or rush to tell me anything. “Where’s Jane?” he asked through heavy breaths.

My heart sank. “Um, she stormed in a minute ago. Probably her room,” I answered quietly.

Alan disappeared quickly and rushed down the hallway. I heard him fumbling with the doorknob and knocking on the door – well, more like banging on the door.

“Jane! Let me in!” Alan shouted.

I heard Jane screaming on the other end, but I couldn’t make out any words.

“I don’t give a shit. Open this fucking door now! Don’t you think we should fucking talk about this?” he shouted.

Talk about what? I was terrified. If he had told her about us, what was there to talk about? I suddenly grew terrified. Would I have a place to live anymore? Would I have to try and live on my own? Surely I wouldn’t be able to move in with Alan just yet, that would be far too soon. I didn’t have a job yet, though. I wouldn’t be able to afford living on my own. And there’s no way I would ever ask my dad to take me in.

Alan suddenly rushed down the hallway, pulling on the roots of his fiery hair with clenched fists, his knuckles nearly piercing through his skin. He had his jaw clenched, his teeth grit together harshly and his lips curled back, baring his teeth as he let out angry grunts.

“D-Did you…tell her?” I asked silently. I was afraid of interrupting Alan’s thoughts as he paced around the dining room that was just beside the kitchen. I had never seen Alan like this and I had no idea how he acted when he was angry.

“What?” he spat as he peered at my through narrowed eyes. “No, I didn’t fucking tell her.”

I was a bit taken aback by his venomous tone. “Is everything okay?” I asked. It was a dumb question, really. It was obvious that things weren’t okay. Alan gave me a look that told me all I needed to know. “Well…what’s going on?”

Alan stopped pacing and stood beside the counter. He gently tapped his fist on the tile of the countertop for a bit. The slightly thump echoed through the kitchen, creating a steady beat that seemed to slow my heart-rate down a bit to match. I waited for him to say something as a smile of disbelief came across his face as he chuckled and shook his head. His emotions changed quickly from sarcastically amused to completely lost, and then to terrified. He lifted his hand up and then time slapped his palm down onto the counter, causing me to jump.

His head snapped over to me and I saw the anger written on his face again, but his eyes were so sad and lost and just straight-up confused.

His eyes flicked over to where I was biting my lip, waiting for him to say something. He opened his mouth and spoke as he let out a deep breath.

“Jane’s pregnant.”

Notes

Addie's Outfit

Sorry it took a while to update. I hope it was worth the wait, however.
Drama drama drama!
Let me know what you think about Jane being pregnant. And what do you think happened between Jane and Natalie?

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Love you all! xoxo