Jelina came home and I had just finished dinner like she told me to do earlier. I cooked something quite elaborate, that way I was able to spend most of my day occupied with the recipe. I found solace in the cooking so I was able to keep my mind off of Alan…for the most part. I set down three plates, each with their rightful pieces of breaded chicken, topped with parmesan cheese and then added and dollop of spaghetti on the side of each plate. I set a basket out with the French bread and then a bowl filled with Caesar salad as well. I even was able to cook up some cupcakes for dessert.

Jelina dropped her purse and took a seat in her usual spot at the table, staring down at the food with a hungry glare. “I’m so glad you actually cooked,” she sighed as she reached out for the salad. She added a small helping to her plate and began eating it right away. “Wait, why is there a third plate?” Jelina asked, pointed at the plate with her fork.

“I cooked your favorite,” I said, trying to distract her. “I don’t know how well it turned out. I haven’t cooked it since your birthday two years ago.”

“Addie…” Jelina warned. “Where’s Alan?”

I tried not to give away the fact that Alan was just sitting in the other room and continued to keep myself busy with tidying up the kitchen. I remained silent, which was stupid because that alone gave her the answer.

“Alan!” Jelina called through the house. “Dinner’s ready!”

A few moments later, Alan appeared. He was walking very slowly, his eyes wide and his shoulders hunched as if he was a scared kitten. “Oh, thanks,” he mumbled as he took a seat. “It looks good, Addie.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, making sure I didn’t turn around to look at him. “I hope it tastes good, too.”

“Come eat,” Jelina urged. “I’ll clean the kitchen after we’re done.”

I set down the pan that I was scrubbing and went ahead and took my seat at the table, directly across from Jelina. She stared at me as we all ate, and would often sneak glances between Alan and I, trying to see if she could assess the situation on her own.

Alan kept his head down as he ate, and as soon as he was done, he thanked me once again, complimented the meal, and then set his plate in the sink before rinsing it and dipping out of the kitchen and back into the den.

“What the fuck,” Jelina cursed. “Seriously, why is he still here? Addie, you guys didn’t-“

“No, we didn’t,” I cut her off right away. “Listen, he’s in a weird place right now. And he flew all the way here just to talk to me. So I said it was okay if he stayed for a bit.”

“How long? What did he talk to you about?”

I sighed. “A couple days, maybe?” I rubbed the back of my neck and then looked up to see one of her eyebrows raised while her lips were in a hardline. She didn’t approve. “Listen, I really just need to explain everything to you or else it’s really not going to make sense.”

“Okay, then please do,” she waved her fork around, urging me to spill the details.

I finished my chicken up rather quickly and then jumped right into the story. I told her everything from the moment I got to Long Beach, from the second Jelina got home from work. She ate slowly as she listened, and gave me no facial expressions the entire time –I had no idea what she was thinking about everything, and it was killing me. After I finished explaining all of the drama, I waited for her to say something. But she remained silent.

“Please tell me what you’re thinking,” I groaned.

“I actually want to know what you’re thinking,” Jelina snarled. “Having him here is a horrible idea, Addie. You guys are going to end up in bed again and that’s just going to make everything worse, you know. He should leave.”

“I know, I know.” I groaned. “There’s still more he wants to talk about, apparently. But I have no idea what else there is for him to say. This is all so fucked up.”

“Yeah, I realize that. But, really, you guys need to just say fuck it and be together. Fuck your sister. I never really liked her all that much, anyway,” Jelina gave me a sarcastic smile and I couldn’t help but laugh in response. I was glad she was trying to lighten the mood, but I also knew that she was serious at the same time. “If you love each other, you will be together.”

“I wish it was that easy.”

“It is!” Jelina said, raising her voice a bit. “It really is that easy! Sure, it’ll be weird because Alan will have to father your sister’s baby, but that’s better than him being with her, right? As long as he is a good father, I don’t see the problem.”

I tilted my head to the side as I thought about this. She had a point. Although it would be an extremely unusual and fucked up sitatution, it could be possible. As long as Alan supported the baby and gave his child the love and care a father should give, I really didn’t see too much of a problem. But what would I be to the baby? Its aunt or step-mother? I cringed, because the whole thing was starting to sound like incest in some way.

“He can stay for a bit,” Jelina said with a sigh. “But don’t expect me to be nice to him.”

“Okay, I don’t.” I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“And if I hear any fucking going on, I’m will pry you two apart. I’ll hose you down even if I have to.”

I let out a laugh as Jelina stood up, a serious expression still on her face as she looked at me to tell me she was serious. She began to clean the dishes and I decided that I might as well help her.

“I can’t believe this all happened,” Jelina chuckled. “It sounds like a movie. A really stressful, frustrating movie.”

I sighed, her words hitting me hard as I realized how frustrating this entire situation was. “It is frustrating. And it sucks because it takes so long to figure everything out. I’m going to have gray hair before I’m even thirty!”

Jelina chuckled. “I noticed a few of them, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

“You did not,” I scoffed. “Did you?”

Jelina laughed at how I was actually starting to become worried. “No, I didn’t. But there you go, stressing yourself out again. Stop it! It’s not good for you.”

“I know, I know!” I laughed. I looked over to the stove where the tray of cupcakes was sitting. I set down the last plate in the dishwasher and then picked up two cupcakes. “I’m going to go try and talk to Alan some more. Help yourself to some cupcakes.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Jelina said while licking her lips. She picked up a cupcake and bit into it. “Good luck!” she called through a mouthful of cupcake. She licked her lips, picking up all of the stray frosting. “I’ll be listening to your conversation from my bedroom, so don’t spare the dramatic fighting and juicy details, please.”

I shook my head and laughed as I made my way down the hall and over to the den. I pushed open the door with my foot and walked in. Alan was sitting on in front of our desktop computer, staring at an internet page, intently reading and scrolling at the same time. He didn’t even notice that I had entered.

I cleared my throat as I walked up behind him. I set the cupcake down on the desk and waited for him to say something.

“Oh, thanks,” he said without pulling his attention away. “Give me a sec.”

I took a seat on the couch against the back wall and crossed my left leg over my right. I pulled down the wrapper of my cupcake and took a bit, internally criticizing my craftsmanship while Alan finished reading whatever was on the computer.

“Sorry,” he finally said, breaking away his attention from the computer. He set the monitor to sleep and grabbed the cupcake as he spun himself around in the computer chair so he could face me. “You baked cupcakes!”

I chuckled. “I sure did.”

“I thought I smelled something delicious earlier,” Alan commented as he licked the frosting off of the cupcake. He ate all of the frosting first and then dug into the cake part after. “So, I guess we should finish talking then, huh?”

I nodded as I picked at the cupcake, I took a small pinch of the chocolate substance and placed it on the end of my tongue. I wasn’t really hungry for the cupcake anymore, so I set it down on the coffee table in front of me and turned my attention back over to Alan. He was the one who said he had more to say, so he had to be the one to talk first.

“I wanted to apologize, officially, for the way that I treated you. I wrote a list, actually,” Alan said. He shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth and reached into his jeans’ pocket. He pulled out a small piece of computer paper that had his chicken scratch printed all along the front and back of it.

He read me the list, and when he first started talking I was genuinely confused, because he was bringing up things that happened back when we had first met in England, before all of this drama occurred. He apologized for the time he lost my necklace at the beach. He apologized for the time that he didn’t offer to carry more grocery bags when walking out to me car.

Tears welled in my eyes as he recalled all of these insignificant events that he had noticed and felt bad for. I couldn’t even remember these small things happening, and they would have never crossed my mind as something that he should have apologized for, but he remembered them. The first half of the front page was from before we parted ways, and then came the things that I recognized, along with a few things mixed in that I had never thought he would have to apologize for.

He apologized for not admitting to knowing each other to Jane right off the bat, he apologized for dragging me into this whole mess, he apologized for making me be the other woman, and so on. But it was the last one that really got to me.

“And most of all,” Alan said softly. “I’m sorry for ever leaving you in the first place.”

I laughed a bit. “It’s not like I could have gone with you around the world, anyway.”

“No, I know,” he said with a sigh. “But we could have tried to stay together, or at least vowed to keep in touch. I regret that the most. Everything would be different now.”

He bowed his head, and I was almost positive that he was going to cry again. Seeing Alan so sensitive and hurt caused me to feel twice as much pain as before. When Alan was hurting, I hurt, too. Because we were connected. He was my soul mate and I felt what he felt, even when I didn’t want to. He stood up and walked over to me. He placed the list on the table in front of me, right beside my cupcake. I looked down at the list as he lingered by the table for a moment.

I looked over the words from a distance. Seeing that he had taken the time to write all of it out meant so much to me, and then seeing him such a mess really made me want to kiss him. But I knew that I couldn’t. Well, I could, but it wouldn’t be the greatest idea.

Just be with him, Addie. Fuck it.

I shook my head a bit, but not to shake my conscience away. I was trying to shake away the doubts and the fears and the complications and embraced what my conscience said.

“Fuck it,” I finally muttered out loud.

Alan looked to me, confusion written over his face. “Wh-“ he began to question it, but I reached out and quickly pulled on his arm. I sat up on the couch so I was sitting on my knees. I pulled Alan down so his lips crashed against mine. I was somewhat expecting him to push me away or not to kiss me back, but he was right – we could never get enough of each other, and for as long as we were willing and in love, this would always happen.

His shins hit the end of the coffee table as I tried to pull him back to the couch so I could feel his body against mine. He grumbled something against my lips as he stepped over the coffee table. He placed a knee on the inside of the couch, between me and the cushions, while his other leg continued to support his body from the ground beneath the couch. I laid back on the small couch, and allowed Alan to push himself up against me. It felt nice to have Alan back on top of me, and not just because I was aroused, but because I enjoyed the comfort it brought me. It felt right to be with Alan.

He gently began to trail kisses down my neck, and I knew that there was no turning back. I wondered if Jelina was really listening, because if she was, she was expected to be barging in at any moment to stop us. I told myself that I wasn’t going to stop unless Jelina told us to. And so far, Jelina had been silent.

Alan’s hands reached up and he began to trace over my curves, his hands getting dangerously close to my breasts every time he did.

As much as I wanted to make love to Alan, I knew that it would only complicate things, and as much as I wanted to just say fuck it and do it anyway, there was still this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Alan,” I said softly. That was all it took for him to realize that it was wrong of us to have sex, especially when we were just barely starting to think of a solution to the situation that we were in. “Maybe we should…talk more instead?” I offered. My breath was deep and heavy, the want still evident in the way my body couldn’t sit still from beneath him.

“Yeah, we should,” he breathed out. His breath hit my lips and brushed over my neck just a bit. A shiver ran throughout my body. There was no way I was going to be able to stop this now, what was I thinking?

“After,” I said quickly as I pulled his neck back down to me. He agreed just as our lips hit once again, and this time everything was a lot quicker. He pulled my shirt –well, his shirt – off of my body and immediately buried his face in between my breasts. He bit and licked at the skin as his hands held onto the cups of my bra, pushing my cleavage up so he could lick over it. I let out a stifled moan, hoping to not disturb Jelina who was probably trying to go to sleep or work on some homework. But, she would be hearing us either way because the walls were paper-thin.

“You’re so perfect,” Alan murmured as he reached behind me to pull my bra off of my body. I moaned a bit at the feeling of the cool air hitting my erect nipples, and Alan smiled down at me. “I love you so much.”

I smiled widely as I reached down and pulled his shirt off of his body. He took it off the rest of the way as my hands immediately went for his pants. We removed the rest of our clothing and I couldn’t help but feel like I was the only one who mattered to Alan. Even though my sister was pregnant and waiting for his to return to her back in Long Beach, it seemed that in England, none of that mattered. It was like our escape from the world.

Our lips were connected as Alan slowly pushed himself between my legs, sending a wave of pleasure through my body at once. He let out a moan against my lips and I tried my hardest to suppress the screams that were bubbling in my throat. His rhythm was strong, but slow. With every thrust, I bucked my hips to meet him, making the sensation much more intense. He would pull out slowly as if to enjoy every second we had together.

“Please go faster,” I groaned as he pulled out. He smirked and attached his lips to my neck, he bit down roughly and I arched my back in response, pushing my breasts up against his bare chest.

“Tell me how you want it, baby,” he said against my skin. The vibration of his voice against my skin made me shiver. “How do you want it?”

“Rough,” I moaned. “Please, fuck me harder.”

Alan bit down once again, pausing for a moment to make me squirm with anticipation. I was just about to beg him once again, but all I was able to do was whimper out his name before he slammed back into me, causing the entire couch to creak at the movement. He didn’t slow down this time. He continued with a rough rhythm, shaking our bodies in tune to the creaking couch.

He sat back, and I straddled him, continuing on with our momentum, but this time each of us put in an equal effort. I didn’t care if Jelina could hear us anymore; she should have expected this to happen. My screams were growing louder and louder and Alan reached down to rub my body while his tongue teased my left nipple.

We came together, each of us moaning out, the couch’s groans finally quieting down as our thrusts became slower and slower until they stopped entirely. I continued to sit on Alan’s lap, my arms wrapped around his neck, as my body continued to convulse around him, causing him to still moan out just a bit. As we continued to come down from our orgasms, the thought of how England was our little escape from the world continued to float around in my head. Here, in the city of Strand, everything seemed perfect and untouchable. Our happiness was everlasting as long as we were away from Long Beach. It had always been that way.

“Stay here,” I muttered. “Stay in England with me.”

“I would if I could,” he mumbled.

“Why can’t you?”

Alan pulled back to look into my eyes. “Are you being serious?”

“Yes,” I mumbled. “I don’t know.”

Alan reached down and lifted my hips so I was no longer sitting on him anymore. He turned me to the side and held me like a baby in his arms. I curled my legs up and nuzzled myself into his bare chest as he secured his arms around my body, locking his fingers together to keep me cradled closely to him. I don’t know what it was, but something about the way he was holding me told me his answer to my request. There was no way he could just leave everything behind in Long Beach for me. He had his band, family, and the situation with Jane would never dissipate so easily.

I felt stupid when I started to break down in his arms. My tears fell from my eyes, hitting his chest and rolling down his torso, making his cat tattoo on his chest glisten as my tears pooled where his abdomen naturally creased in his sitting position. We remained silent for a while as he continued to hold me while I cried. After some time had passed, I finally took in a deep breath and attempted to calm my tears.

“Just because I’m holding you like a baby doesn’t mean you need to cry like one,” Alan joked.

I playfully hit his chest and then sniffled to try and get my nose to stop running. “Fuck you,” I retorted.

“You just did, but I’d love to do it again,” Alan muttered. He bent down and kissed my forehead, right in the center. “I’m sorry I make you cry so much.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s not just you, it’s everything.”

“Everything that involves me,” Alan corrected.

“Well, I’m in love with you, so my entire life pretty much involves you.”

Alan smiled widely at my words, even though I was basically confirming the fact that he did make me cry. “I love hearing you say how you’re in love with me. I never imagined a girl like you could love a guy like me.”

“Me neither,” I mumbled with a roll of my eyes. Now it was Alan’s turn to playfully slap me. After a moment of laughter, we each let out a prolonged sigh. “We’ll never be able to say goodbye to each other, you know. The second we see each other this happens.”

“It’ll always be like that,” Alan agreed. “So what do we do?”

“Well, we could leave each other’s lives completely…”

“Not an option,” Alan said quickly. “I can’t do that.”

I sighed. “Or you can go be with Jane and we can try to behave around each other…” I began to gently trace my fingers around the tattoo on his chest.

“Highly unlikely,” Alan muttered.

I let out a gentle laugh and then cleared my throat as I prepared to say the last option. “Or, we can say fuck it and be together no matter what.”

Alan smiled widely and then hugged me tighter. “I like the sound of that, honestly.”

I smiled in return and reached up to place a kiss on his lips. “So no more ‘being single forever’ mentality? You’ll really break up with Jane?”

“Yes,” Alan agreed. He seemed so sure of his decision, and it made me so happy to know this. I just wish it hadn’t taken so long. “As long as I get to be a father to my child.”

“Of course,” I smiled widely. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’ll be interesting to explain the situation to him or her when they get older…but I think that’s the best way for this to happen.”

“I actually kind of excited to be a Dad. Granted, the circumstances suck, but regardless, the idea of raising a little human excites me,” Alan admitted. “If it’s a boy I want to name him Grant.”

“Grant?” I questioned, smiling at the sparkle that had grown to shine in his eye as he spoke of his future child. It did pain me a bit to know that the kid was not mine, and that I would much rather it be our child, but either way the kid would have the same exact genetic make-up of any kid that Alan and I would have.

“Grant Ashby,” he said proudly. “It sounds so…dapper….doesn’t it?”

“But do you really think that Jane will let the baby have your last name?” I questioned. If Alan was going to leave Jane, I could see her being stuck up and not wanting the baby to have Alan’s name.

“Okay, then Grant Feeney. Damn, it still sounds fucking awesome!” Alan explained. He moved a bit with his laughter and excitement. “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?”

“Yes,” I said, honestly. “The touring life just can’t come home with you, you know.”

“I know,” Alan sighed. “I’ll miss it, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make. Anything to make things go as smoothly as possible.”

I couldn’t wipe the grin that was on my face. Alan was finally going to leave Jane, and we could finally be together.

“Does this mean you’ll come back to Long Beach with me?” Alan asked, hope evident in his tone.

My smile fell. I had just moved back to England, and although I could easily just move back to Long Beach since my job was still over there, I felt like I didn’t want to leave. Not yet, at least. “Well…where would I live?” I asked.

“With me, duh,” Alan said as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you think that’d be too soon. Like just showing up and being like Surprise! We are moving in together and oh yeah, deuces Jane, I’m with Addie. I don’t think that’d go down very well.”

Alan chuckled at my re-enactment of what would happen if I went back with him, but he nodded at the end. “I guess you’re right,” Alan sighed. “So, I guess I’ll go back to Long Beach, break up with Jane, and tell her that I’m going to be with you and explain how I’ll still be there for the child, and then we give her a little bit of time before you move in?”

I nodded. “That sounds like an excellent plan. You call me when you’ve broken up with her, and then we’ll wait a couple of weeks, or maybe a month, before I move in.”

Alan sat up, shifting my body so I was sitting in his lap again. This entire time we had been naked, but it never really crossed my mind until Alan started to gently rub his hands up and down my sides. My skin became more sensitive, and I could see that Alan was becoming aroused as well. He reached up and placed each of his hands around my breasts, massaging them slightly.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Alan said. “We can finally be together.”

“It’s going to get hard, but we can do this,” I replying, pleasurable breaths breaking my words.

“Oh,” Alan murmured as he leaned in closer to my ear, “it’s already hard.”

I laughed at his words, but reached down to confirm them, nonetheless. “I love you,” I murmured as I leaned in to snatch his lips in a kiss.

“I love you, too, Addie. More than anything.”

Notes

This chapter was a continuation of the last, as you can see. I was going to skip ahead a bit, but I decided that there was too many things left unsaid and I'd need to continue it on to clear it up.

What do you guys think about their talk? Alan and Addie are finally going to try and be together! What do you guys think is going to happen next?

I'll try to update soon! I have an exam on Wednesday, so I will probably update on Thursday!
Also, check out my PTV Fanfics if you read them. :)

xoxo