4 months after the end of Warped Tour*
Iris’s pov
"I can’t do this anymore Jack." I spoke between sobs.
My depression had hit hard since we finished Warped, I started cutting deeper which landed me in hospital and now i’m on suicide watch.
"I’m sorry Jack, i-i-i’ts not fair on the fans. Because of me the band has missed so many opportunities to go back home to England and tour the world. Selfish old me. Please just let me leave the band Jack. I know someone that will replace me, she is amazing and won’t bail out on you guys like I do. Please, just think about your future."
"And what about your future? What are you going to do? You can’t slob about at Austin’s house all day and night."
"I don’t know. I’ll get a job somewhere or i’ll go to college."
"Let me speak to the guys and Austin then."
After hours of arguing with the people closest to me they finally let me leave the band. When i’m better they said I could rejoin but I new that wasn’t going to happen.
_____________
After Warped tour I stayed in America to be with Austin. We moved in together so that he can keep an eye on me and because we’re together. Whenever I was snuggled up to him I felt like me again, the old me before I was damaged but as soon as I leave him everything goes back to normal, I start to feel really down and sas. I have become really close with the guys in Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens, which is good because they have helped me A LOT.
I decided to check my twitter to see how the fans reacted. Most were pretty bummed about it, but there was one that scared me.
"@BenTaylor1970: I’m coming for you"
That name Ben Taylor rang through my head bringing up all of those times he hurt me, my mum and Jack. He ruined my life, he took our mum away from us. “I’m coming after you" These words repeating themselves. What if he finds me? What will he do to me. Tears were falling freely now. I ran to the bathroom, sat on the counter and started picking the sides of my new razor head.
One cut, Two cut, Three cut, Four;
I can’t take it anymore.
Five Cut, Six Cut, Seven cut, More;
Watch the blood drip to the floor.
This beautiful blood causes so much pain;
This beautiful blood makes a beautiful stain,
I just have to cut over and over again.
It feels so good,
Not like it should,
I do it more than I ever thought I would.
By now my wrists, legs and stomach were oozing blood, the pain it felt so right but so wrong. The last time I cut was about a moth after warped, that’s when I was I went to hospital.
"Hunny, i’m home." He said with a cliche tone to his sweet voice.
"Baby where are you?"
"I’m in the bathroom. I’ll be out in a minute." My voice kept breaking, shit he would of noticed.
"Ree, open up."
"No Austin."
Next thing I new the door was being kicked in. Nice one, now we have to buy a new door.
Austins eyes went wide in disbelief.
"R-Ree…" Tears were forming in his eyes.
"How could you do this? You said things were getting better."
"Everyone tells lies Austin." I said with smirk.
Austin walked over and grabbed some alcohol and dabbed it on a towel to clean up the cuts. I winced in pain when he touched each cut.
"The shit I put you through Austin its unbelievable. I can’t believe you have stuck with me for this long, everyone usually leaves by now…"
"What? I would never dream of leaving you. You’re the only thing that I want in life. You are my world and I love you Iris."
I didn’t know what to say so I did what would comfort both of us. I buried my head into his tattooed chest whilst he took me to bed.