I hid behind a black SUV and waited until he went into the gas station. The door closed which I realized it was my queue to run back to the hotel. I found mine and Alan’s room. I opened the door, slammed it and slid down the back of it tears escaping from my eyes. “Iris? I-Is that you?” I dried my eyes and walked over to my bed.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I got into bed and closed my eyes. Questions were running through my head at 200mph. Why was he here? Why now when I am trying to get my life back on track? He ruined my life and I will never forget that.
I was awakened by Alan shaking me by my shoulders.
“Iris, wake up.”
“Go away Alan.” I when to rub my eyes but when I did I realised they were wet. Was I crying in my sleep?
I sat up and looked at Alan who was sat on the end of my bed.
“Iris. Who’s Damien? And why were you crying and screaming?”
“He….Err…I…” A new wave of tears poured out of my eyes.
“Hey, babe. Don’t cry. You know you can tell me anything, right? I am not going to judge you and you know.” Alan came and sat beside me wrapping both of his arms around my body. I placed my head on his chest and cried even more.
I wiped my eyes. “So what are we doing today?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“Ree…”
“What?” I asked faking a smile.
“Who is he?”
“Who’s who?” I asked acting dumb. I really didn’t want to tell him. If I told Alan that would mean Austin would find out and I really don’t want that to happen. Me and Austin are finally at a really good point in our relationship and I don’t want someone from my past ruining that.
“Please Ree, tell me.”
“I-I can’t.”
“You’re scared I’m going to tell Austin aren’t you?” I just nodded.
“If you don’t want me to tell him then I won’t. Scout’s honour.” He said whilst raising his hand and giving me that famous Alan Ashby smile.
“Damien is my ex-boyfriend. At the beginning of the relationship he was amazing, everything you wanted in a guy. Good sense of humour, nice personality, very good music taste he treated me like a princess. After about 4 months I moved in with him, we got our own flat and settled down just the two of us. Then around a year into being together he began to get abusive. It started off just mentally but then it became physical. Each night he would finish his job at the office at 5pm and hit the pubs until around 9pm. At first I blamed the abuse on the alcohol he was drinking but then he started hitting me when he wasn’t even drunk. He would never let me leave the house apart from going to get the groceries or more booze for him. One night he was really drunk and he kept pushing himself onto me. I told him to stop but he wouldn’t listen…H-He r-raped me.” I saw Alan begin to tear up. He put his arms around me again and rocked me from side to side. He told me to carry on, so I did. “The next day he didn’t even remember so I just brushed it off like nothing happened. I was to forgiving. But then he started to sexually abuse me when he was completely sober. He didn’t see it as rape because we were in a relationship but if one person doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse with another it is classed as rape, in a relationship or not. Most weekends I would wake up in a hospital bed because he would have hit me just a little bit too hard. The only person he let me see was my brother and each Wednesday night jack would come to my place and we would have a brother sister night. One night Jack came over early and in the middle of a beating. He walked in on Damien kicking me in the ribs on the floor. I remember I was too weak to defend my lifeless body. Jack pulled Damien off of me and punched him hard in the stomach then in the jaw. Damien blacked out. Jack ran into the living room to get the house phone so he could ring 999. When the police got here Jack told them what had happened whilst I was being put into the back of an ambulance. I woke up with a few police officers waiting for me to awake from my slumber. They asked me questions and I told them the truth about what had happened. He then got sentenced 10 years behind bars.” Tears were pouring out of both mine and Alan’s face.
“But you’re only 22. How old where you when this happened because I don’t think you where 12.”
“We started seeing each other when I was 18. I don’t know why he is out of prison. All I know is I don’t want to see him ever again.” Alan just nodded and we laid down on my bed together. I was snuggled up into his arms.
“Please don’t tell Austin. We are finally at a good point in our relationship and I don’t want to ruin anything.”
“I won’t, I promise.” Alan said reassuring me. He kissed my forehead.
My phone buzzed on the bed side table so I got out of Alan’s grasp, climbed over him and grabbed my phone answering it just in time.
“Hey baby. What’s up?” I asked with a smile on my face.
“It’s Tony. You need to get here as soon as you can.” With that Austin put the phone down.
“Alan. We need to go back to Cali. It’s Tony.” Alan rushed up and grabbed out toothbrushes and face wash which we used the night before, the day we got here.
We ran out the door and checked out. It took us a while but we found Alan’s car. We quickly got out bags in and we headed back home.
“I’m sorry about this. We’ll come again, I promise.” Alan said, not taking his eyes off of the wheel.
“It’s okay. We need to be there for Tony.” Alan nodded and switched lanes.
What if Tony isn’t okay? What if this is it for him? I will never get to see him again, no one will all because of me. Selfish ol me. I do love Tony but as a brother. He was there when me and Austin fell out, he was there for me at warped and when I need to be there for him I can’t do anything about it because I drove him to far and made him want to do that to himself.