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Smiley Yellow Socks and A Bottle Of Coke



It had been two days now since I found out about my sleepwalking problem. I was still unsure how or why I fell from that building, but I was glad I was still alive with barely a scuff at all. I'd spent the last two days pretty distant from Oli, we hardly spoke to each other. I sensed that he felt as though I didn't believe him, and don't get me wrong, I did feel pretty bad about accusing him of lying. Especially after all the shit he has had to put up with, when I'm feeling poorly or struggling to picture the stories he tells me.

I was laying down on the sofa, watching some day time tv, nothing too strenuous, when Oli walked downstairs with his jacket on. He grabbed his keys and sat down next to me.

"I'm going out to the shop. Do you want anything?" He said.

I thought for a second. "Maybe I'll try some of that wine, the one you said I liked?" I tried to comfort him, I tried my hardest to be who he wanted me to be. I hoped this tiny comment would make him forgive me for earlier. I watched his face in anticipation.

He smiled. Just the slightest smile, I think he knew what I was doing. "Alright." He almost chuckled and then stood up. "Alice is coming over... You don't think I'd leave you on your own for a second, do you?" His mood seemed to have shifted now.

"Thankyou." I whispered. "Hey listen..." I wasn't sure what to say for a second, and then the words kind of mumbled out. "I do believe you. It's just hard... you know?"

He took hold of my hand and stroked my thumb. "It's alright. I just wished it wasn't this bad. I thought you'd remember stuff when I told you... but it's all just nothing to you."

I sighed. "It'll come back soon..." But this statement was completely uncertain. He was right, I had expected to remember something, but all this stuff he was telling me didn't jog my memories at all.

He left soon after that, and within a few minutes, Alice was at the door. I invited her in and we started casually chatting. But there was a huge question on my mind.

"So... Oliver and I. What were we like? I hate to see a guy so caught up around me, especially when he's trying so damn hard to look after me and rebuild everything. What were we like?" I asked her.

Alice glanced at the coffee table. "Still looking at photographs, are you?" She laughed at the mess of them, some on the floor, most scattered in a jumble on the table top, She brushed her hands through them, searching for anything she could find. "This one! Oh yeah! I took this one." She smiled.

I was drawn towards these atrocious socks, with weird looking smiley faces on them. And Oli was wearing those boots again, the ones I thought suited him really well. "Ah. What are these socks?!" I broke out a little laugh.

Alice looked at the photograph again. "You guys were inseparable. Honestly, after the first month or so, it really kicked off for you guys. This was a little party we went to. Nothing much happened, but I do remember looking at you guys there together. It was the way he looked at you, it just made me wish I had someone like that. You know?"

"I've never loved anyone before." I said to Alice, not knowing what to tell her. I found it hard to believe that it could be that great with him, after all.

"Trust me, you completely loved him. Totally besotted. From what I knew anyway. But I didn't see you guys much after you moved in with him. Maybe the last two months or so." She stood up and suddenly looked panicked. "Oh god." She said. "I know this is probably gross... but do you have a spare tampon? I think I just started..." She looked really embarrased.

I calmly stood up with her, took her hand and pulled her upstairs into the bathroom. "It's cool, girl, I got you." I walked around, opening cupboards above the sink, and then bent down to reach the cabinet below. As I bent down, I felt a rush of blood leave my head making me feel really faint and nauseous. I collapsed from my crouching position onto my ass, and Alice rushed behind me to prop me up.

"Are you okay?" She screamed, I could feel her legs shaking behind me.

"I'm fine..." I said, my voice shaking. "I get a little bit dizzy and nauseous when I bend down. I think it's just head rush or something." She sat down next to me and put her head on my shoulder.

"I wish you would get better soon." She said. She opened the cabinet in front of me and peered inside. "Um." She said. "I can't see any tampons."

I looked inside the cabinet to check again, but I was surprised to see maybe six or seven empty pregnancy test boxes, and nothing else. I could see Alice looking at me as though she was unsure what to say. I just slammed the cabinet door shut and stood straight up.

Alice tried to create some small talk, but I wanted her to leave. There was something going on here, something that wasn't right. I walked with her to the door and insisted that I rested alone, that I was okay and needed some alone time. Eventually she left.

I ran upstairs, swearing under my breath. This couldn't really be happening could it? I ripped open the cabinet, and chucked all of the boxes out onto the floor, searching for a pregnancy test that hadn't been used yet. I started crying as I was looking, dribbling and murmuring under my breath as I completely panicked. There was one unopened box sitting right at the back of the stack. I stared at the box, my hands shaking so much I was struggling to open the damn thing.

"I'm back!" Oliver yelled from downstairs, causing me to jump out of my skin. I grabbed all of the boxes and threw them back in the cabinet. I didn't have time to take the test now, Oli would be all over me. I tried to scramble myself into a better state, so that he wouldn't have known I was crying, but it didn't seem to work, and I'd run out of time because Oli had come up the stairs and seen me standing in the bathroom.

"Hey." I said, gulping hard as I felt a throbbing in my chest, trying to hold back the tears.

"What's wrong?" He said, chucking the bottle of wine down on the side and putting his arms around me. I just started crying again now, sobbing into his chest so that he couldn't see me. He just held me there for ten, maybe twenty minutes while I tried to compose myself.

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