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The Last Snow: A Mother's Love

This Simply Makes You Human

“Has anyone seen Bella since lunch?” I asked everyone that was standing around in the living room.

“No, I promised her I’d leave her alone though for the rest of the day.” Chris stated.

“She’s not in her room either, I just checked before I came down here.” Tyler said.

“You didn’t do anything to fuck her up too bad, did you?” I asked Danny, knowing he didn’t have nearly as much restraint as Chris and others when it came to easing up on Bella.

“All I did was point out to her that she wasn’t being honest with herself about what she likes, wants, and hell even needs.” Danny responded.

Oh fuck, that didn’t sound good. I hopped off the couch, and made my way to the door.

“I’m going to go and make sure she’s fine.” I told them, needing to make sure she was ok.

Truth be told, I wasn’t super close to Bella. Don’t get me wrong, I loved her as much as the others did, but I also wasn’t afraid to give her room and let her grow while figuring out everything going on. I was a lot more like Tyler than I was Danny...I knew that there was a line out there that if crossed could very well ruin Bella forever, which would leave her a complete mess for the rest of her life. Not exactly our goal here.

At this exact moment I just wanted to make sure she was okay.

I went from room to room checking to see if she was there, and countless times I was disappointed by her absence. She wasn’t in her room, she wasn’t in the kitchen or the library, or a plethora of other rooms. I started heading back to the living room, and on my way back I noticed that the door to the basement was slightly cracked open.

There was only one person who didn’t have a key to the basement and would need to crack the door to make sure it didn’t lock behind them.

I got down to the bottom of the stairs, and found myself in the dark, I went over to the wall, flipped on the lights and found Bella curled up on the floor next to the bed.

From where I was across the room I could tell just how red her eyes were, and I could even still hear her whimpering.

“Hey there.” I cooed.

She jumped at my voice.

“Easy, it’s just me.” I told her, not wanting to freak her out any more.

Somehow I got a feeling Danny did more to her than just talk about what she wanted, her behavior right now was pretty telling of that.

“What do you want?” Bella whispered.

“I got concerned when no one knew where you were, and I figured I’d come and make sure you were ok. Based on what I can see though...you might need a little comforting.” I answered, taking a few careful steps forward.

“You won’t be able to help, neither will Tyler or anyone else.” She said sadly.

“What’s wrong Bella? Please tell me.” I cooed.

“I’m a whore. What other kind of person gets off on receiving pain? What would Bianca think of her mother if she knew how fucked up she was?” Bella whispered in a pasnic.

“Hey, stop that right now. First off you are so far from being a whore it isn’t even funny. Secondly, don’t you ever doubt how good of a mother you are. Ever.” I told her, taken aback, surprised, and even a little hurt.

Knowing that she thought of herself like that just killed me.

“Yes, I’m so far off from being a whore. That’s why I got wet when Danny talked about how hard I needed to be used, and why when I got to sleep I dream of this stupid fucking room.” She growled.

“Is that why you’re so down? You’re feeling guilty for getting pleasure from us?” I asked her.

“Bingo.” She sighed.

An idea suddenly popped into my head. I knew exactly how to convince her otherwise.

“Come here, I want to show you something I haven’t shown anyone else. Maybe it will help you understand there is to be no shame in enjoying what we indulge in.” I told her.

I kneeled down in front of her, and extended my hand. To my happy surprise, she grabbed my hand, pulling herself up.

I made my way back upstairs with her, snuck past the room the other guys were in, and arrived in the library where we’d be able to have a nice long and uninterrupted conversation.

“Sit down, make yourself comfy.” I said, patting the couch.

She walked past me and took a seat on the couch, as she did that I pulled out my wallet, opened it up, grabbing the one item that went along with the story I was about to tell her.

“Why are we even here?” She muttered.

“Because I want to tell you a little story about myself. I know you have all of this guilt and shame weighing you down, correct me if I’m wrong.” I stated.

“Nope, that’s on the ball.” She whispered.

“I just want you to understand that you don’t have to be ashamed of ever getting pleasure from anything, and you also don’t need to beat yourself down by thinking you’re a whore.” I explained, taking a seat directly next to her.

“Ok.” Bella replied.

“Alright, so we’ll start at the very beginning. I know you’ve never been told exactly how this whole thing started, but we were the first band outside that Chris reached out to in hopes that we would join him. He met with Danny, and then Danny came back to myself and the rest of the band to report on what Chris exactly had planned in his mind that he wanted to do. At first we thought it was a joke, as everyone first did, then we realized that it was a serious proposition and we were all giddy at the idea of having our own lovely lady to call our own.” I started to tell her.

“But how did Chris come up with this whole elaborate plan?” She wondered.

“Well, that’s his story to tell love, and an interesting one at that. Plus, it doesn’t fit into the message I want you to get.” I admitted.

She nodded her head, and I took that as a sign to continue.

“When Danny first told us that, we were told we had 10 months until we went and got you. So that very night Danny came back to tell us, we all cracked open books and dug deep online to do as much research about BDSM and everything attached to it that we could. It was exciting first, like a non-stop adrenaline rush. Everything that I took in just fueled this fire inside of me, and I just couldn’t wait. About 8 months had passed, and all of our excitement just kept growing and growing, until one day...the fire inside of me just switched off. I took a step back, and told myself ‘wait a second, you’re getting all excited for what, being able to hurt someone.’ I was quite honestly pretty sick about the whole thing when I suddenly looked at it from that light. That’s when I bought this.” I continued on.

I handed her over the piece of paper I had taken out of my wallet. It was a plane ticket, but with a very significant date on it.

Bella studied it carefully and quietly.

“This was the day you came and took me.” She whispered, noticing the date.

“Bingo.” I exclaimed.

“You were there though...what changed your mind?” She asked me.

“Well...I took those last two months and just about wasted the first month doing exactly what you were just doing, beating yourself down because you believed something you were passionate about was wrong. Then, about 3 weeks to go until the date they planned on getting you, Chris showed up at my house. To this day I have no idea how he found out that my plan was to basically run back to England and never look back.” I told her.

Through the tears that were still slowly cascading down her cheeks, I saw a little smile peek at the corners of her mouth.

“I don’t know how he finds out about a lot of things.” She said, with a tiny little hint of a laugh.

“I don’t think either of us will ever find out, he’s just mystical.” I chuckled.

“So...did he convince you to stay?” Bella asked.

“He convinced me that I was looking at things in the wrong light. I managed to somehow get sucked into seeing it as a violent act, probably due to my fear of how crazy his whole plan was. Chris sat me down, and explained BDSM to me in a new light, one I hadn’t read about online or in books - because it was something you had to experience to understand it. Chris explained that while delivering pain is a part of it, the have to look at the bigger picture, and be able to see the love, trust, and even respect that will grow between dominant and submissive. That is what it’s all about, it’s not just hurting someone. Sorry if I’m rambling, or not getting my points across, my main thing I want you to take away though is that you should never beat yourself down for thinking that receiving pain is some disgusting thing you indulge in. Think about the entire relationship between all of us, if you are in any way getting joy, happiness, or pleasure from anything that goes on...don’t feel guilty, or feel like you’re a failure, and do not ever ever ever think of yourself for as a whore for simply feeling pleasure. That makes you human Bella, it doesn’t make you a bad person.” I pleaded to her, hoping with all of my heart that she would take those words to heart.

“Woah.” She whispered, seemingly not able to come up with any other words at the moment.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get preachy on you. I just can’t stand hearing you talk so badly about yourself. You are simply just the sweetest, most kind, deserving human being I’ve ever met, and you don’t deserve to be weighed down with these self deprecating thoughts, especially when they’re so far from the truth.” I replied.

“You were seriously ready to just go back to England, and even leave the band because you thought it was such a dirty and negative thing?” She asked.

“Yes, but might I remind you...I wasn’t the only one who ran from it.” I pointed out to her.

“Touche.” She said.

“Can I ask what made you stay? I get that he convinced you to stay, but you could have left if you weren’t happy with what went down. In case you forgot, those first 2-3 months were basically one giant shit show.” Bella wondered.

“Well...correct me if I’m wrong, but it appeared that you were able to be happy and get some pleasure from us.” I stated.

Her infamous blush painted her cheeks red, as she told me “You wouldn’t be wrong about that.”

“But again that wasn’t for a long time. So what made you decide to stick it out?” She questioned me.

“It was something else that Chris told us all.” I said.

“Which would be…?” She pressed me.

“If I tell you, I need your absolute word that you will not ever tell Chris that I told you this, alright? He might actually kill me for that.” I told her.

“I promise.” She said, and I believed her.

“When this all started, about three days in Chris knew you were far more special than any of us could have imagined. He understood your fear and hesitation, but he still wanted to proceed with the original plan in hopes of creating that beautiful relationship between you and us. As you started to ramp up your defenses if you will, Chris gathered us all together and told us that if you really didn’t want any part of this dynamic, he would drop it. It’s what he wanted so bad, but he wasn’t willing to force you into something you hated and no interest in. There were a couple times that Chris almost pulled that, but he threw that away the second he saw you actually happy, he knew one day it would work out.” I explained.

“Chris was seriously willing to give up the whole dynamic?” She asked.

“Yes.” I answered.

“Holy shit.” She sighed, putting her head in her hands.

“So...now knowing all of that, what are you thinking now?” I wondered.

“I guess there’s no point in trying to pretend that I don’t fully hate it. I understand what you mean about looking at the bigger picture though, it’s still hard to admit that I don’t exactly hate it.” Bella admitted.

“Do you trust me Bella?” I asked her.

“Yes, I trust you.” She replied.

“Would I be wrong to say that you did indeed joy Chris’ little spanking session the other day, and Danny’s talk earlier today may have excited you a little bit?” I asked her.

“You wouldn’t be wrong.” She shyly whispered.

“What would you say about tomorrow having another introduction session to some other things in the basement? It can just be a couple of us, and it doesn’t have to be anything too crazy.” I suggested.

“I’m still on edge about everything...but as long as you can promise me that there will be nothing sexual, I’ll do it.” Bella agreed.

“Really?” I asked, actually a little surprised that she agreed so quickly.

“Yeah, wasn’t that your whole speech?” She giggled.

I smiled at her, and leaned over so that I could embrace her in a tight hug.

“You are such an amazing girl.” I whispered, holding her tight.

“I’m Bella...and that’s all.” She sighed, pulling away.

“You’re perfect.” I told her.

“I’ve got a long ways to go.” She said.

“We all do. At least we’ve all accepted what we know we need and want.” I replied.

“I guess so.” She blushed.

“What do you say we go and join everyone, even if just for a little bit?” I suggested.

“Sure.” She agreed.

The two of us hopped up from the couch, and made our way back down to the living room. Right before I walked in, Bella reached out and grabbed my arm.

“Thanks for sharing all of that, and setting me straight. It’s kind of hard getting through days thinking you’re some sinful skank.” She thanked me.

“Of course, and I fully know that feeling. Trust me though, when you full let go of all that doubt, and fear...everything becomes that much more amazing.” I told her.

“Oh, and let’s not have you get too close to Chris tonight. I just would prefer he doesn’t figure out what I told you.” I said, just a tiny bit worried.

“You’ve got my word.” She smiled.

“Thank you.” I whispered, walking in first.

“Hey, you found a friend!” James cooed as Bella walked in behind me.

Bella clung to me until we reached Tyler, and she quickly went over to him and sat on his lap on one of the couches in the room.

“Bella, are you okay?” Danny asked her.

“I’m fine.” She replied.

I went over to the table we had in the back of the room and sat in the only empty seat, which of course happened to be next to Chris and across from Danny.

“Where in the hell did you find her?” Danny asked me.

“She was hiding out in the basement.” I said.

“Well, how did you end it with her?” Chris wondered.

“She agreed to go back down in the basement tomorrow with a few of us to try a few more things out.” I answered, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“What in the fuck did you tell her to get her to come out of hiding from the basement? Based on previous experiences it takes a lot to coax her out.” Chris questioned me.

“Magic.” I whispered, clapping my hands together in front of me.

“My ass.” Chris grumbled.

“Oh relax, all you need to know is for now she isn’t beating herself up for the moment. Be happy with that.” I stated.

“Let’s get back on track, who do you want down there with her tomorrow?” Chris whispered to us.

“I’d say Chris, Tyler, and you.” Danny said.

“You don’t want to join us?” Chris chuckled.

“I’d be much better off dealing with her when not as much restraint will be needed.” Danny explained.

“Last pick’s up to you.” I said to Chris.

He took a cautious glance around the room, trying to figure out who would fit best in that type of situation.

“I’d say Ricky or Cameron.” Chris announced.

“Why not both?” Kuza chuckled, further down the table.

“Hey, Cam!” I yelled, wanting to get his attention as he was across the room.

“Shhhhh!” Tyler hushed us, pointing to Bella resting against his chest, who was very clearly at least half asleep.

“Shit, my bad.” I whispered.

Her head was resting in the crook of her neck as her hands were loosely wrapped around his neck. I had to laugh a bit at the fact that she was able to fall asleep so quickly, but that was good- she needed some good rest.

“Go get Ricky too.” Danny said softly to Cameron, as he came over to the table.

He did just that and we explained to them what the plan was for tomorrow.

“I’m going to go to bed then so I can wake up early enough.” Ricky yawned.

“Me too.” Cameron agreed with him.

“I’ll bring Bella to the room in just a tiny bit.” I told him.

We continued light talk about what exactly we wanted to get out of tomorrow, and I just made sure I kept avoiding any conversation about what Bella and I had talked about.

I looked at the clock and realized it was getting fairly late.

“Tyler, want to head on out with her?” I asked him.

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Tyler said, an obvious sense of exhaustion in his tone of voice.

He slipped Bella onto her back so that he was able to lift her up bridal style.

“See you tomorrow morning.” I whispered to Chris and the others.

“Night.” They replied.

As Bella was walked past Chris, he reached out and gently rubbed her leg in a lovingly way. It was one more piece of evidence to me that he was in love with her. It was a sweet gesture.

I shut the door behind Tyler and Bella, and he quickly turned to face me.

“You won’t tell Chris what you told her, so I’ll take my shot. What the fuck did you tell her?” Tyler asked me.

“I told her there was no reason to feel guilty for feeling pleasure from any of us.” I told him.

“Bullshit - there was more. We tell her that everyday all day and it never changes her feelings, but she changed a lot from this morning until now.” Tyler said, and I know there would be no bullshitting him, he was the Bella whisperer afterall.

“I told her how much Chris and everyone else loves her.” I told him.

“I know there’s more.” He groaned.

Bella softly muttered some nonsense in her sleep, and that took precedence over him trying to figure out what I told her. Our walk back to the house began again.

When we finally were in the second house, I went before them up the stairs so that I could open up our door for him.

Cameron was sound asleep in his bed which was directly to the left of the door.

“My bed’s the one in the far right corner.” I said.

I pulled back the blankets for him, allowing him to slip Bella in under the covers. She was still out cold.

“Take good care of her for me, tonight. I’ll see you then tomorrow.” Tyler whispered, giving Bella one more kiss.

“She’ll be fine.” I promised as he exited the room.

Once he was gone I stripped down to my boxers and got into bed next to Bella. I pulled the covers back over us and snuggled in close to her. Feeling her body so close to mine was such a relaxing yet intoxicating feeling.

“I love you Bella” I whispered once more, finally falling asleep.

Tomorrow was bound to be an interesting, hopefully fun, but definitely long day.

Notes

Who knew Chris had such a soft spot for Bella?

If there was one way to prove that he actually loved her, that would be it.

And now that Bella's been convinced to an extent that her getting pleasure doesn't make her a despicable person...will she one day reciprocate that love?


I hope you all had a great weekend and hopefully you'll enjoy this update today to make your Monday a little bit better!

Comments

Fuck...... ahm my username on wattpad is @Happily.Motionless

@Motionless.Rinio
It still won't let me on :( Keeps saying the domain isn't there

HI THEY FIXED IT IM TALKING FROM IT NOW!!!!!!!!

@xXStalkerXx
Hi! Oh my gosh am I happy to hear from you. I can't get to it either, I think that website is done for :(
Makes me so damn sad.
I actually ended up moving my stories to Wattpad. If this PTV one stays up I'll keep updating here, but if not I'll have everything on Wattpad!

Hi this ia motionless rinio i cannot access to the domain of motionless in white and im sorry that im posting from here but please be careful i feel like they deleted the minisite