Nightmare

Hello. My name's Hakuoh Bellatrix Thyim though people just call me either Phoenix or Bellatrix or some other shortened form of Bellatrix. Fun fact, my father named me Hakuoh, which means White Phoenix, because at birth, I had snow white hair. I still do naturally. My hair is just dyed red because my mother was sick of people staring at us whenever we would go out in public. Well, technically, it's dyed in this form anyway but I'll get to that another time. She's really paranoid and cares about what other people think.

Another fun fact, the reason my father is no longer in the picture is because my mother killed him. Perhaps killed isn't the right word. I suppose 'slaughtered him like he was some mindless animal' is a more accurate description since she somewhat did. Although she wasn't the only one but yeah. So yeah, that happened when I was about two, maybe three. I still remember being surprised at how much blood came out of him. I was huddled up next to his cooling corpse, basically bathing in his blood, for quite some time. Apparently, my mother and her helpers thought that they killed me because they did beat the ever loving shit out of me. To this day, I still don't have a god damn clue as to how I'm still alive.

I find it funny how so many people are fooled by the facade my family puts on. It's hilarious really. My entire family, at least what's left of it, despises my guts. And boy do I have the fucking bruises and shit to prove it. But I don't blame the twins, I never could. They're the only people that I could honestly say I love. If I believed in love that is. However, I don't because love truly does not exist. It's just a desolate hope for the desperate.

If you really think about it, it's sad how people ignore what's in front of them in hopes of living an easier life. They just don't want the added hassle of actually trying to give a fuck. But I can't say I blame them either. We all wear masks, some of us just forgot how to take them off so it's more or less permanent. At least, until you remember how to remove the mask, if you ever do. It's a damn shame just how good people have gotten at being wrapped up in their own trivial worlds that they're hellbent on keeping the same.

Anyway, back to my family. I have twin sisters, well half sisters but yeah. They're my world. When they were younger, I was the only one around so I had to become an adult as well as a mother basically at the age of three . I care deeply for them though they hate me. They don't really remember me caring for them or anything like that. After all, they were really young. Also, mother basically coached/trained/conditioned them to hate me. All three of them treat me worse than shit beneath the soles of their shoes.

The real reason I stay is because mommy dearest threatened some pretty wicked shit would happen to them if I leave. I know they're not strong enough to handle it as well as the fact that they don't deserve it so I stay and weather the shit instead. Stay and they live basically guilt free and innocent. Sounds like a fair deal to me. Don't you think? But I haven't even told you what mom does.

My mother is a crime boss as well as a bunch of other things. Basically, I've been trained as an assassin but I'm treated like a slave and viewed as if I'm nothing more than a watchdog at best. Apparently, I'm the best at what I do. I've been given quite a few nicknames: Sesshomaru (the police do seem to think I'm male), the Killing Perfection, the Perfect Destroyer, Destroyer of Life, etc etc. Well, I am the perfect killing machine they say. I've been forced to do some pretty fucked up shit. Have you ever had to kill a five year old because your mother was certain that not only did he know who she really was, but that he was going to tell the police? Have you ever had to murder and then mutilate a rival mob boss's heavily pregnant wife just to get a message across? That's not even the actual light shit yet.

So excuse me if I find it hilarious that all our neighbors and the community as well as the police think of my mother as nothing more than the poor widowed wife whose husband was murdered by the Angels of Death and their leader. What's even more comical is the role my mother plays as the soccer mom for the neighborhood. How she goes from nice, cozy soccer mom who hasn't quite gotten over her husband's dead yet to insane, psychotic Crime Boss in less than 0.02 seconds is somewhat frighting though. At least I get free reign when it comes to my personal life so long as I don't let anyone know the real me.

Notes

Sorry it's so short guys. I've been feeling like absolute rubbish (much nicer way for me to say shit) for quite some time. Also, I'm tired, I twisted my left ankle horribly, and I fucked up my right leg today. No, I didn't get it checked out. You think that my mum would take me to get it checked out when she didn't take me to get my arm checked out when it had to be put in a sling because it felt like dead weight, I couldn't feel it for the most part, and the only thing I could feel from it was pain? Funny.

Also, I spent my $40 to buy food a few days back because my mother refused to buy my sister or I any food and a bunch of other shit so yes, that's part of the reason why I feel like crap. But eh, everybody's life is difficult in some way, ya know? Fun fact, sushi is actually really good. Well, California Rolls anyway.

And yes, I did get Sesshomaru from InuYasha but shhhh.