Selfish Machines

I laid in bed thinking, I was tired but I couldn't sleep a million on one thoughts were going through my head.
Should I talk to Vic
Should I talk to Mike
Do I like Vic
Do I like Mike
Do I have to choose?

That last one really got me, what happens if I fall for them both will I have to choose? But if I choose one then the other will hate me. If I choose Mike then Vic will hate me and I'll lose my best friend but if I choose Vic I will lose Mike and what if he's the one? And we could of had something great together?

I can imagine me having a beautiful wedding then buying a nice house with a white picket fence, having children of my own and grand children but I don't know who I would want to share all of this with.

I can't lose my best friend but I also can't lose a what if, I don't wanna spend the rest of my life regretting this decision.

I suddenly heard my phone go off-

From: Jaime
Hey fuck head wanna go to a party with me tonight?

To: Jaime
I'm not really feeling like partying tonight shit went down with Mike and Vic :/

From: Jaime
Please? I don't wanna go alone and it will help take your mind off things.

To: Jaime
Fine. But you have to pick me up I'm at the Fuentes house

From: Jaime
Yay!! I'll be there at 10 (:

I love Jaime to pieces he was my best friend but he always seems to get me to go out with him. Even when I don't want to

I wasn't really the type of girl to have many friends that were girls. I hung out with guys my entire life that's what I was use to, I had Vic and Tony they were all I needed. I never really considered Mike as a friend before today.

It was 8:37 so I had more than enough time to get ready, I grabbed a towel then went into the bathroom.

I let the hot water run down my face and body I loved showers they just know how to make me feel better. This shower was different though, it didn't help me this time. It didn't clear my mind and cleanse me of my problems it just felt like a shower. I finished washing my hair then I hopped out to get dressed.

I put on a pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a black bandeaux, a white crop top, a beanie that says "bitch don't kill my vibe" and grabbed my black leather jacket. I blow dried my hair and put it in loose curls. I did my make up winged eye liner and put on grey and black eye shadow.

Once I was content with my appearance I went to the living room to wait for Jaime it was already 9:40 because I decided to take my time getting ready.

The time went by fast before I knew it Jaime was knocking on the door. I opened the door grabbed my purse walked outside then shut the door behind me and walked straight to his car

"Well hello to you to"

"Can we just go? I really wanna drink"

Jaime just left while turning on the car and pulling out of the drive way.

We arrived at the party in about 10 minutes as soon as we walked inside we could see the place was packed. Jaime opened his back pack then handed me a beer.

"I'm gonna need something a lot stronger than this"

-

It's already midnight and I'm beyond drunk but I'm still not drunk enough. Me and Jaime are in the living room dancing to Eye of the tiger, we were having fun and he was right it did help me forget all about Vic and Mike. At least I did forget and out Mike until I turned around to see him across the room from me just standings there staring at me.

All the sudden the room got hot and I felt like I was gonna pass out... I need some fresh air. I walked away to go step outside for a minute leaving Jaime dancing with some girl.

I stumbled through the house to the back door, the back yard was crowded with people so I walked over to the side of the house where no one was and leaned against the wall of the house.

I grabbed a cigarette out of my purse and placed it in my mouth looking for a lighter. Suddenly I see a lighter lighting my cigarette, I breathed in the smoke then exhaled I turned around to see Mike.

He he took then smoke out of my mouth then took a drag himself.

"You know smoking kills right?" Mike said

"Not quick enough" I said

"You look really hot tonight"

"Really? That's funny because I thought you said I was a whore" I blurted out

"C'mon don't be like that" Mike said stepping closer to me

"I thought you were mad at me"

"At first I was but then I realized I don't get hurt, and I don't want to be hurt that's why I use girls because that way I don't get hurt, and I swore to myself I would never talk to you again but when I saw you tonight I realized that I need you." Now slurred of course he was drunk why would he say his true feelings sober?

"but I'm no good for you I don't want to hurt. But I can't love with out you, you're like a drug. So I want to be selfish and keep you all to myself... I guess I'm just another selfish machine."

And with that that our lips crashed together Mike pushed me against the wall and I jumped on him so my legs were wrapped around his waist.

"I think I'm in love with you" Mike confessed

Notes