This Heart; it beats, beats for only you.

I rolled over and felt the empty space where he used to lie. It always makes me sad to realize he isn’t there. He’s finally coming home today, but only for a week or two. Then he’s off on yet another tour. I’m glad that he’s doing what he loves but, it’s hard being on my own for months on end. I know he hates leaving me.

The last time he was home it was only for a few weeks. He had just gotten back from his bands European tour with A Day To Remember. His band Of Mice & Men had started to get really big after releasing their fourth album earlier this year. After he got home he was mostly tired and slept most of the time and went out with the guys. Then he was whisked away to finish off Warped Tour. Warped Tour always took it out of him. From the hot weather, to the intense fans, and to being constantly on the road. But I guess you could say that about every tour.
While he’s away all I get are missed calls, short text messages, and interrupted video chats. Our communication has been suffering. He has been falling away. I start to cry, realizing how much I miss Austin when he’s away.
We have been dating for a little over a year now, but with him being on the road or in the recording studio it only feels like a few months.

I wiped away my tears and got up and got ready for the day. I should probably clean up the house before he comes home tonight. I put on a pair of shorts and one of the few shirts he had left here at home. I love wearing his shirts, they make me feel safe and secure.

Suddenly, I heard my phone buzz on the nightstand next to my side of the bed. I grabbed it and saw that I got a text from Austin. I smiled knowing that he’s thinking of me as I’m thinking of him.

It read: “On my way to the airport now. I’ll be home in a few hours babe. I love you.”

Smiling like an idiot and typed: “I love you too, babe. I can’t wait to see you!” and sent it.

I giggled to myself and ran down the stairs and into our living room. I picked up the empty pop cans and takeout containers. I went into the kitchen and hooked up my I-Pod to the speakers and turned on some music. Of course Of Mice & Men is the first thing to start playing. “The Depths” started blaring through the speakers. I grab the broom as if it is a mic stand and start screaming along to Austin’s voice as I was sweeping the kitchen floor. This would be the perfect time for him to walk in. He probably forgot that I was a huge Of Mice & Men fan before we started dating. I smile at the memory of seeing them for the first time. I continue to belt out the lyrics and danced around the house freely.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I got another text from Austin.
“Boarding the plane now, love. Counting every second till I see your beautiful face.”

I smiled and finished cleaning up around the house. Then I decided I had better to go to the grocery store and pick up some food to make for dinner. Chicken alfredo. Yum!! I got in my car and started down the street and decided to take a little field trip. I arrived at a street corner, Second and Sebring. I got out and walked towards the street signs and took a picture of it and posted it to my Instagram and Twitter. Captioning it: “@Austincarlile it feels like home.” Within seconds hundreds of fans liked it and commented. Most just said that it was sweet of me to go there and that they think Austin and I make a cute couple. And of course with every good comes the bad, the hate started to pour in. Varying from I don’t deserve him, to I’m ugly and fat to the extreme of telling me to kill myself and even threats. It never really bothered me, but today it really got under my skin. I just threw my phone in the back seat and drove to the grocery store. I rushed right home after getting another text from Austin, he must have scheduled a message, or he snuck out his phone to message me.

“I’ll be home in two short hours, gorgeous!”

“Can’t wait, Aus (;”

I walked in the front door, set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and ran upstairs and into our bedroom to find an outfit to wear. I glide over to my side of the closet and rummage through my clothes. Mostly there was just old concert T-shirts, and a few dresses here and there but nothing that would really wow Austin. When I had finally given up hope on finding anything, I turned around casting my eyes on Aus’s side of our rather large closet, and found a dress I had gotten a few weeks ago. I must have been in too much of a rush to notice what side I hung it on. A stunning off white lace dress, with a sweetheart neckline and a fitted waist, I bought at Hot topic. I grabbed it and laid it out on our king size bed, and I grabbed a pair of wedges from the closet and threw them next to my dress. Normal heels always make me stumble and fall over. And embarrassing myself on the first night he’s back is not what I want him to remember. I took a quick shower before returning down stairs.

I quickly unpacked the groceries, turned on some music and started on the chicken, then started the pasta. I glanced up at the clock, reading 4pm, an hour before Austin should be landing. I set the table as the food was still cooking. I glanced down at my phone hoping to hear from him, but I know that he hadn’t texted me. The time read 4:30pm. I took the chicken and pasta off the stove and started the sauce on a low simmer. I ran up the stairs to get ready. I lightly curled my hair to accentuate my natural waves. I took a long look and the mirror and sighed at my reflection and reached for my makeup. I caught a glimpse at my arm; there are soft discolored scars that were once still red but now faded to a ghostly white. That’s the thing about scar tissue, it doesn’t tan, it doesn’t fully fade away, it just remains there as a reminder of the past. I grabbed my makeup bag and found my eyeliner and gently winged my eyes. Then started in on my mascara and put on red lipstick.

I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my dress and changed into it. The dress fits better than I ever thought it would. It stops a few inches above my knees, hugging every curve that I used to hate but grew to love. I slipped on my wedges and strolled out of our bedroom, down the hall and down the stairs.

Notes

Here's my first chapter. I originally wrote this as a short story so it was hard to break it up into chapters. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Feel free to comment and subscribe..
-xxHana_Crossroadsxx