Run Away Before It's Too Late

All throughout my life, I have been abused, taken advantage of, used, manipulated everything. Why? I don't know what I did to deserves this. Oh wait, yes I do. I'm worthless. Excuse me for forgetting it temporarily.
My family abused me since the day I got home from the hospital. When I was 2, my grandfather, father, uncle, and their friends started to molest me. When I turned four, they began to anally raped me. The never raped me vaginally thankfully. So technically, I'm still a virgin...I suppose.
I started bruising myself at the age of two. I progressed to other manners of self harm at a rapid rate at such a young age. Yeah, I'm fucked up. I'll admit it. I've attempted suicide countless times. I've always failed as you can so obviously tell
I started drinking alcohol at the age of seven. Somehow, no matter the type of alcohol or how much I drank, I never got drunk. Sadly. I started doingg drugs when I was eight. With that, the same thing that happened with alcohol, happened with the drunks. So sad, right?
I never had any friends growing up. I was the freak. And I still am one. Teachers never realized that I was abused at both home and school. They probably didn't care anyway. After all, why would they? I'm just worthless.
I have my on blade, razor, and knife collection. I started it when I first started cutting. I also have a lighter collection. Gotta keep my options open after all. I'm a major fan of rock, metal, alternative, etc. I just love loud music. especially if it's meaningful.
I have multiple disorders. Like I said, I'm fucked up. Oh, I forget to mention, didn't I? I'm repulsive as fuck. Suicidal and ready to die still. Yay. Now I'm in an orphanage.

Notes

Most of this happened to me in my past. Not all of it though.