On the way back to mine we didn't part. He kept me closely pressed into him, I still had his jacket on and he was still cold and shivering. Our eyes may of parted a couple of times but our bodies didn't. Every so often he'd reach down and take a cheeky touch of my butt, which just made me want him more, it was so wrong it was right.
We reached my apartment stairs. "About time" he mumbled to himself, I heard him say it and took a step infront of him so I was staring straight at him on the stairs. I was on the first step and nearly the same height as him. He reached in and pressed his cold lips to mine, I mean, the least I could do was warm them up right? I walked backwards and he walked towards me, slowly we were making our way up to the my apartment, I fumbled around with the door and swung it open, our lips still locked and him still grinning, he took hold of my thighs and lifted me up, I soon wrapped my legs around his waist and then the thought hit me.
My door was unlocked.
My lips parted from his in realization and when they did he looked at me confused. I unwrapped my legs from him as I heard Tino clear his throat.
Shit.
I slowly turned around guiltily as Austin swallowed a lump in his throat. He was going to try explain something but words couldn't come out. I don't think any words of mind would come out either. Their eyebrows raised at us in concern. "I-Uh-" I tried to explain.
"It's not what you think" It was exactly what they thought, before we tried to explain anything else Phil and Tino looked at each other and stood up. "We're gonna go, but you guys need to sort this out." Phil announced. "think about the band" Tino continued. They walked out of my apartment patting us both on the shoulder.
We slowly turned around the look at each other once the two had left, both with the same guilty look on our face. "Ah shit" he whispered. I looked to the floor and scratched the back of my neck. We had both realized what we had done, it was wrong. He had cheated on Shay and I was apart of that.
I walked towards the couch and sat down, Austin did aswell but he sat on a different couch to me, he rubbed his face with his hands and let out a sigh. "This is wrong" he let out in a whisper. I nodded my head in agreement. "Everythings just a mess" I replied.
He sat and bit at his nails, shaking his leg in worry "Do I tell him or?"
I shrugged my shoulders, I didn't know myself
"I just miss you" he admitted. I nodded my head in reply and let out a small "same" to him.
"I should probably go, think this through" I nodded my head in reply again as he stood up, I did too and followed him to the door. "Just-uh, text me what you decide yeah? So I know what to expect" I mumbled. He looked down at me and sighed. "I-I'm sorry" I looked up to him, my eyes automatically connected with his "no- I should've done something" I could see that he was giving quick glances at my lips which just confused me. "Austin" He shook his head "Sorry, I just can't help it.. not after that, you've-you've changed" I threw him a half smile, I guess the last time we did anything like that, he was my first. And its been a couple of years later where i've got more experience so.. I hope i'm not bad at it. Whilst in mid-thought I felt a pair of lips collide with mine, I threw my head back in shock whilst Austin brought his face away from mine in panic but the whole panic and wrong thing forgot to cross my mind as I pushed my lips back to his. The lust was too much.
He bent down slightly so I could wrap my arms around his neck easier and with that he lifted me up to his height and I wrapped my legs around him like we had done before Tino and Phil said something. As we parted in between kisses I could feel his warm breath on my lips which just made me want him more, it sent shivers down my spine and he could tell. How it went from him leaving after what happened in a mess to us violently making out again, I have no idea. "Well I didn't know I had that effect on you" he smirked, I giggled back at him as he started to walk to my room.
Yeah, so two times in a day with someone like Austin. That ain't bad. Especially when he isn't yours. He isn't yours... He isn't mine. He is with Shay, why did we do that again.

He was layed on my bed naked and warm, he had a couple of sweat beads on his body which just made him look so god damn hot. My head was resting on his chest, and I could hear his heart beat, it was racing but settling slowly. It was nice just lying here, but once the sudden realization hit me I let out a sigh. "We can't keep doing this" It was painful but true. He let out a sigh and agreed with me. "Theres just something I dont understand"
"Whats that?" I asked quietly looking up to him
"I-I've spent over three years with Shay and well- well nothing adds up to that one month with you"
"Do-Don't just say it to make me feel better Austin"
"I'm not"
"You are- we only had sex once and it was my first time so it couldn't of been that good"
"I'm not talking about that and refer to it as sex. It's making love because I loved you so much then. and I still do now. Your first time shouldn't be 'just sex' it should be love making." I thought about what he said and he had a point. "What i'm talking about is the way you made me feel, I felt so loved and the luckiest guy in the world because I had you, I could tell you anything and when I was with you, I felt like I could do anything and like I had reason to be around. I wanted to take care of that shy, quiet boy and make him feel like he should" I didn't know what to think, like. I made him feel better than Shay has made him feel. I was with him a month, Shays been with him for years. How, When did I have that kind of effect? If anything it felt like the other way round. I felt like, because of him, I had a reason to be breathing.
I looked up at him in awe. "Thats why it makes it more difficult for me. I don't know what I want anymore. I mean, I love Shay but nothing compares to you." I took a deep breathe and snuggled into him more, I didn't want him to let me go, I didn't want him to leave. I just wanted him to stay right where he was.
He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "I should go". I let out a deep sigh and lifted my head off his chest and he sat up. He stood up and slipped his clothes on, I didn't want to get up so I just rested my head back onto my bed. He smiled at me before reaching down and giving me one last passionate kiss. "I'll text you" and with that, he left. I heard the door close and I let out another sigh.

I was eager, I wanted to know what his plan was. Was he going to tell Shay or? I couldn't imagine what would happen with the band if Austin told him. I just hope to god it wouldn't break us up.

Notes