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Repeating Apologies

Chapter XIX

Austin POV
I had been holding that back a while. I think I said it at the right moment, I think. He was just so mad at me, for something that happened in the past. It's not as if I even talked bad about him, he's always been the light of my life. I only talked good about him. She was the one that talked shit about him, I was there, defending him as I've always done. She just knew how upset I was about the whole thing and blamed it on him even though, it was my fault. I was the one that caused it all and that's why I wanted to be the one to fix it again.
Me and Alan had become so much closer now we had said we loved each other, it was a big step in the relationship.
"Babe?" he called me from the tv room, I was stood in the kitchen making drinks. I walked back through the kitchen door to the tv room instead of replying. I set the two drinks down on the coffee table and pushed his feet off it. I took a seat next to him and gently wrapped my arm around him, kissing him on the top of the head as he got closer to me. "What are we gonna do about the whole, singer thing" he asked and sighed. I hadn't actually thought about it, since being back on track with Alan, it hadn't crossed my mind. I guess we really should get looking for one. "Im not sure, have the other two said anything?" I asked. He just shook his head. "We'll just have to try Aaron again" I laughed to myself, taking it only as a joke. He had a band and the likelihood of him actually joining ours was stupid. I know he said the guys in his band were trying out new sounds that he didn't like but surely that wouldn't be enough to quit.
Alan giggled to himself. "I'm not even joking, i'm just gonna ask him again" I looked down at him and smiled. "Good luck"
Silence filled the room, we were the kind of couple that could quite happily sit in silence with each other and not have it weird or boring. Just us two being together was perfect. "I love you Ashby" I smiled at him. I was so happy that I could actually just come out and say it now. He turned his head and smiled at me, I placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Why the fuck were we even apart" he grinned at me. I shrugged my shoulders. "We've been through a lot kid"
"I'm glad its all over now" he said as he sat back to how he did. "I could just spend all my life with you" I rested my head on his and smiled to myself. He was just so perfect. I laced my fingers in between his and softly stroked the top of his hand with my thumb.
It was times like this I was so thankful to be around. My doctor had been nagging on at me about my heart. The other year we found out that I have Marfan Syndrome. My mother had it and it affects your heart, makes you all long and dangly like me. I hadn't told anyone apart from Shay. The guys in the band didn't know and neither did Alan. My doctor also said that i'd need surgery in a couple of years and now its a couple of years later. I've gotta get it sorted soon or I might not actually be around for much longer. I didn't want to leave this life, not my friends, or Alan.
I thought the best way of doing this would be to just go, get it over and done with. I had made an appointment to have my operation the next week and I was kind of dreading it. I was determined to have a good week with Alan and everyone else, just incase it didn't go too well.
"Fancy going on holiday?" I asked him. I wanted to take him back to where we first met, and where he first found out it was me he was talking to. It maybe back where people didn't like us but as long as we were together none of that mattered. Nothing could defeat us. He looked up at me with his beautiful brown puppy eyes and smiled "Sure, where were you thinking?"
I looked down to him and smiled. "Let me deal with that. All you've got to do is be in the car and stay with me. I'll pack your bags"
I didn't want him to pack his bags himself because he'd just ask more questions about where we were going, and what kind of clothes he wanted.
-------
Today was the day we going on holiday. We told the guys and they were fine with it, they said they were going to look for a new member whilst we were gone. Alan still didn't know where we were going and also kept asking why I packed his bag for him.
He was asleep on my shoulder on the plane, we were nearly down, i'd have to carry his sleepy ass everywhere oh god.
Once we had landed and everyone was getting off the plane, I softly shook his shoulder to wake him up. He didn't exactly wake up but he wasn't exactly asleep. He wasn't 100% there. I made sure his arm was around my shoulder and I hoisted him up as he tried to walk. He didn't recognize the place as he was still sleepy which was good. He'd only complain if he knew.
Once I had got the rent-a-car all sorted I put him in the front seat and got in the driver seat myself. I drove us to the hotel where we first went together, where he let me take him. I always remember that day.
It wasn't exactly amazing, but it was him, his first time. Something to always remember. The awkwardness he clearly felt to how comfortable he seemed with me afterwards. It was there forever in my mind.
I had booked the exact same room with the stupid rose petals again. I really wanted to make this a cheesy holiday. So just incase things don't go as planned, he'll have this holiday to look back on.
By the time I was all parked up Alan had finally awoken but hadn't asked any questions of where we were. We both got out of the car, I took our bags as he stood looking at the outside of it, trying to recognize it. I took his hand in mine and we walked into the lobby, thats when he realized.
"What are we doing here?" He asked with a rather shocked look plastered on his face. I smiled at him "Just one of the things planned"
He smiled at me as I walked off to the counter to get the room keys. "Is everything ready?" I asked the man serving me. He nodded his head and passed the key over. "We'll have someone bring your bags up" he added. I told him my plans over the phone and he arranged it so I could do as planned, which meant me not having to take the bags. I was paying so much more for this but it was worth it. I gestured for Alan to come over and he did, still smiling to himself. Before we reached the stairs I scooped him up in my arms like I did on that first night. He giggled to himself and then hid his face in chest, clearly blushing. He gripped onto the shirt I was wearing trying to stop himself from laughing like a little school girl.
I got to our room and opened the door with him still in my hands. He looked into the rooms and his face got redder. If it wasn't bad already, this just made him look like tomato. "Oh Austin" he grinned to himself. He placed a kiss on my neck took a deep breathe. The guy bringing our bags up was behind us, he put them in the room and left us, I kicked the door closed and walked over to the bed. I gently placed Alan on the bed and he just flopped backwards embracing himself in the soft silk covers.
"You even did the petals" he laughed to himself "I wanted to do it properly" I giggled to him, I sat next to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek but kept my head pressed against his. "I love you Ashby"
He turned to face me and closed the gap between us, he brushed his hands through my hair and laid me down so he was straddling me.
This time, it wasn't awkward for him. He knew what he was doing and he was relaxed with me. It was the best time we had actually ever done it.
We both lay there, him in my arms, regaining our breathes with a couple of sweat beads resting on our bodies. I smiled to myself "Better than last time we were here, right?"
Alan laughed to himself "Shut up"
"Got a big day planned for us tomorrow Kitten" I smiled He sighed to himself "I love when you call me that" He turned to me and placed a couple of kisses on my face.
He cuddled up to me and all I could think of was how good it would be to just, be like this. Forever. And not to have any heart problems.
I didn't want my operation, but I couldn't live with a ticking time-bomb in my chest forever. It was something I was going to have to do but I'd have to look at it positively. The doctors know what they're doing, nothing will go wrong. Everything is just fine.
I wanted someone to tell me that. I have to tell that to everyone else, why can't someone just say that to me. I wanted so bad to tell Alan but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see his face when I told him, it'd just worry me more. Although I had my love laid by the side of me I still felt alone. I know it was my fault and that I could fix it right now by telling him but I just couldn't.
-------
The day arrived where I was taking Alan to revisit some spots we had been together, like the beach and that cliff, the restaurant I took him to. First up was the beach, whilst it was nice and warm out.
I took a bag that I had prepared for us, Alan was dressed in what he normally was and so was I. I don't think we'd go into the sea, it wasn't something we'd do. We got into the car and I took us down there. When we got there he laughed to himself, thinking back to the day he found out it was me talking to.
"You're so cheesy" he grinned. I nodded my head and laughed. "I guess I am"
If only he actually knew the reason why I was doing all this. Im surprised he hadn't questioned it yet.
We sat on the sand, reminiscing and receiving disgusted looks at the way we were sat. He was just snuggled up to my side, its not exactly nasty. This place just still wasn't ready for us. It didn't matter to us though.
Alan pulled out a keyring type thing from his pocket and laughed to himself "I don't know if i've ever told you this, but I always carry this about. It just makes me laugh when i don't feel like smiling." He showed it to me and the cheeky fucker had a really bad picture of me in it. It was one of me pulling some stupid ass face, so embarrassing. "You better get rid of that" I laughed. He looked at me so I looked back, he bit his lip and smiled. He was up to something. "Never" and with that he sprung to his feet and ran down to the end of the beach, he wanted me to chase him, so I gave in to what he wanted and ran after him. "I'll chuck it into the sea!" I shouted behind him, I heard him giggle as he was getting closer to the sea. A tiny wave came in and got close to his feet, before it touched him he jumped back like a cat and ran along side the water. I laughed at his feline ways and neared up to him. I could feel my breathe getting heavier but I was in reaching distance of him now. I stretched my arms out and pushed him into the sea. He clung onto my arms for his life whilst I laughed my head off.
"AUSTIN!" he screamed but laughed afterwards. We were now stood in the sea, the water was around my knees and on his thighs. We were still in jeans, luckily we didn't have shoes on. He looked down to his legs and sighed playfully. I lifted his head up gently and took his head into my hands, closing the gap between us. I softly caressed his cheek with my thumb and I felt him smile. The small waves crashed around our legs as we enjoyed our embrace.
We looked down and decided it was probably time to get out of the sea. I took his hand in mine and we walked back to shore, our arms swinging gently between us.
We made idle conversation on the way back. "Whatever did I do to get stuck with you?" Alan giggled. I looked down to him. "Something terrible I guess" I laughed back at him. He rested his head on my shoulders as we looked around everyone was just evilly staring at us. You would of thought we just took the heads off every child here.
"I used to hate being looked at like this, but now, I couldn't care less. All thanks to you Carlile" He smiled. I kissed the top of his head "They just don't understand"
He sighed happily "They don't need to understand" "I love you Kit-"
...
...

Notes

What happened?

Comments

Oh good that Austin is safe! I'm so glad that you're back to writing this story :)

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
5/12/15

I seriously just read both the prequel and the sequel today and this is amazing.... I really want you to update

SnypperBVB16 SnypperBVB16
4/25/15

What happened to this story!? I'm still anxious for more!!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
4/3/15

YAAAAAAAS A SEQUEL!!! I'm addicted and gosh dang it, I need more!!

Chaos'sWolf Chaos'sWolf
1/5/15

@sir langdon my fish
Omg thank you so so so much! It means so much to me!

Vincent Vincent
1/5/15